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Why can't I come out to my parents about being gay?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 3:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD


I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
April 9th, 2015 11:37pm
Your parents might feel as if they need to try and change you. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are an absolutely perfect human being who has a heart. But you have the right to be scared. But, nonetheless, they should love you unconditionally.
July 3rd, 2018 3:02pm
i didnt feel safe enough to come out to my parents as bisexual as they are very homophobic. however i told my best friends who were very accepting of me and in the end, my boyfriend. sometimes you dont need your blood family to accept you or know everything about you. sometimes you have to make a new family
May 1st, 2015 6:59pm
cause its a really hard thing to do. Im not gay but i can understand how hard it would be to do something like that
May 9th, 2015 7:58pm
I think it is because you are afraid of them judging you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with homophilia, and if they react bad, its their problem, not yours.
June 17th, 2015 6:10pm
That's a very big step in life, one that is quite fearsome. In some sense things will change forever, they may look at you differently, they may not be as accepting as you'd like. It's impossible to know without looking within yourself and your past, there is no blanket answer and it's something you should talk about in detail.
November 3rd, 2015 8:03pm
You can, you just need to find the right time to do so... if you tell them and you really feel this way they will accept that is you.
November 3rd, 2015 9:47pm
sometimes it is hard to express the way we feel, especially in front of those whose opinions we value. It is important to remember that you will be loved no matter what and those that care about you will always support you
November 24th, 2015 11:33am
It can be hard to come out. Your parents love you, and they should accept you how you are. There is nothing wrong with being gay, it's the way you are and feel. You can come out, because I believe in you.
December 7th, 2015 8:35pm
You can, it's just a matter of personal preference. I came out to my parents about six months ago being bi, and they are working on accepting me. It's a slow process but it continues to progress slowly.
January 5th, 2016 4:47am
You can come out to your parents it's just that your scared to. Maybe because you think they won't love you anymore or they don't want you or they will judge you. It takes a lot of strength to come out to anyone. I just want you to know that you're not alone and that there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different and unique.
January 8th, 2016 11:03pm
Why is this question in the bullying section? That's what I want to know and secondly, If there are reasons for you not to, (i.e financially dependent on them then maybe it wouldn't be a good idea) But, maybe when you are independent of them and you feel you must then that would be okay.
June 7th, 2016 1:34pm
You're worried about their reaction which is normal but keep in mind being gay is not a choice it's a natural and your parents will understand
September 6th, 2016 2:02pm
Because you feel as though you'd be disappointing them, which you are not. You want to be different but you're afraid of being judged because of it
September 12th, 2016 11:36am
You might be worried about how they will take it. More often than not however, parents are sympathetic.
April 25th, 2017 1:53pm
There is no reason why you shouldn't. Most parents are accepting and will love you just the same. However, you may live in a homophobic community, and if you don't want to deal with that "hate" it might not be safe, and it is probably a better idea to wait. But, the choice is completely up to you, and you can come out whenever you feel comfortable.
July 4th, 2017 4:23pm
Sometimes coming out as Gay can be hard. However, in my experience I find that when someone has confidence in their sexuality its helps when they come out to people.
October 17th, 2017 1:01pm
Coming out as gay is a difficult thing for all of us to do. You constantly will be worrying about if they aren't going to accept you for who you are or if they are going to look at you any differently, or even if your parents will be ashamed of who you are. There will be so many thoughts going round your head and that is understandable. However, there should not be any fear when it comes to coming out as gay, your parents should love you and respect you for the person you are. You are their pride and joy. No matter your sexuality they should love, respect and treat you exactly the same. It is scary but it will be okay.
March 27th, 2018 12:16am
You may not be able to come out to your parents for being gay is because your afraid what will happen after you tell them and things they may say, being judgmental and possible criticism and unsupportive in your journey and seeking help.
April 3rd, 2018 6:08am
Maybe because you are afraid of how they would react. But honestly speaking to your parents, you'll be their child no matter what. There is nothing wrong in being a gay. Maybe initially they would have a different reaction not because they disapprove of you being a gay but because they might take time to gulp down a fact that they didn't know, something that's new to them. So don't worry..