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Why can't I react to bullying in an assertive way?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 02/07/2022 at 8:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
March 25th, 2015 12:54am
Bullying is a rough subject. Sometimes being assertive in those situations can be super duper hard. My recommendation is to tell the person you trust the most... also let them know that you find it hard to do so and allow them to handle it themselves! Hope this helps! xoxo
April 11th, 2015 1:52am
You can't react to bullying in an assertive way because then they know it bugs/annoys you when they do that. Then they will just keep doing it. Just remember it is better to ignore them. Remember they aren't worth it.
April 16th, 2015 5:15pm
Although they do these things to you, doing the things back to them doesn't make it right. By this I mean that you may feel like you don't want to do to them what they do to you because perhaps you don't want others to go through what you are, even if it is those who are making you feel this way.
October 26th, 2015 12:55pm
its not worth your feedback... you can handle the things with better way. focus on your carrier... if they will see you are not having any problem by their bullying they will have no fun in it and they will stop it
February 29th, 2016 2:34am
Some people are generally more relaxed then others. You may feel intimidated by the bully. Just remember that you have nothing to be afraid of! :)
July 25th, 2016 2:24am
I have told a bully that they were wrong, and told them I was happy about my flaws. I told them I felt bad for them because there must be something upsetting them, or they wouldnt be trying to hurt me.
May 15th, 2017 12:08pm
Probably because you are afraid of what will happen if you tell someone or you are scared of what they will do next. Just ignore the haters. You can't let them change you.
May 21st, 2017 4:34pm
It could be a matter of self-confidence. If you have low self-esteem, you are likely to let yourself be walked all over by those who treat you badly. By building up confidence in yourself and learning to love and care for yourself, you are more likely to feel comfortable standing up for yourself.
July 23rd, 2018 2:48am
Maybe you deal with things passively, and taking affirmative action takes some time to get used to.
February 7th, 2022 8:26am
Much like a muscle, assertion is a communication skill (one that is most effective to standup to bullying) that can be strengthened and honed with time and practice. Bullying behaviour can take us all by surprise, and often we respond by being passive, and sometimes even aggressive. When bullying others, people are nearly always being aggressive and sometimes in such cases we can’t really know for sure what to do but we can always find ways to learn, heal, grow and equip ourselves for similar hurdles we may face in the future. Take a deep breath before speaking and don’t let others rush you. Practice in front of a mirror. Align your body language with your assertive response. Start slowly and gently your own pace with something as simple as saying “no” as a full sentence; it will be daunting and hard at first but with time it will become easier, the more you practice.