Why can't I seem to get past the words they told me, even years later?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 07/09/2018 at 1:22pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

Social Worker

I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
Molentra
September 10th, 2015 10:50pm
Probably because those words are targeted at your insecurities, and it seems like other people are affirming what you thought was wrong with you or your bad qualities. Remind yourself that they only say these things to be hurtful, and that they don't reflect who you really are.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2015 4:32pm
because they are stuck in your mind and they are very hurtful but you need to know that you are better then anything they told you because they were probably jealous and so they tried to put you down
Anonymous
February 17th, 2015 9:49pm
While "they" may have put ideas into words, the fact is that you have adopted these ideas about yourself or your situation. Words that have no relationship to one's own perceptions of reality are quickly forgotten. Of course, words from people we love and trust have a greater chance of being believed. Ultimately, however, we are the ones who choose which words stick with us and which words we let go of.
FriendlyHelper12
April 24th, 2015 10:53am
Because when you've been bullied for a long time it becomes all you know, and it sticks in your head. You've just got to break through your past and live in the present.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2015 6:57pm
Words hurt. They scar for so long. What is important is to realize how far you've come since you first heard the words. You're a better person. A stronger person.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 7:02pm
Because whether we like it or not it impacted us and left a mark by someone who was important for us
kindLove97
September 28th, 2015 12:26am
We hold onto things that we do not want to accept or to let go. Our brain is very interesting and remembers little details that once created an emotion inside.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2015 4:34pm
I can understand your feeling.Be positive and move on.Past is past.Thinking about that will hurt you.
Brook
November 10th, 2015 8:25am
Because words are really painful and they can stay with you for the longest time. The words that others say can stick with us for the longest time and we tend to always reflect on them and they always pop back into our minds regardless of the time that has passed since it was first said. It also makes it worst when we over analyse what was said and constantly revise it thinking that it might some how help but it usually has the opposite effect.
FindTheBeauty
February 8th, 2016 3:09pm
Some words tend to leave a lasting impression when we have a certain emotional response. If words hurt us or lift us up strongly, we tend to remember them.
blindParadise96
March 4th, 2016 9:30pm
Probably because you're still hanging on to them. You let them run through your head long enough to let it affect you years later. Try starting a new page with yourself, and loving the worst parts of you.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2016 11:24pm
It is because we remember them and overtime those moments and thoughts can turn into reality which is hard to change once in that spot.
YouAreFabulousToo
May 10th, 2016 7:59am
Because you care about what other people say more than your own, which you shouldn't. Trust Yourself
colourfulUnicorns83
May 13th, 2016 4:29pm
In short, words hurt. Insults are meant to target you where you are the most vulnerable, resulting in trauma. You are often left to wonder why you were the target, and most of the time, the person who is bullying has insecurities of their own that they do not know how to cope with.
HopieRemi
July 5th, 2016 8:02am
Words are powerful. Sometimes we think we have gotten over it but something might remind us, and it's like we're hearing those words again for the first time.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2017 7:27am
Humans tend to focus on the negative, so whenever something bad happens usually that is the memory that sticks with us over the positive ones. Also sometimes when things happen we can hold onto them thinking "Oh my god I can't believe they said that to me". It's just how the brain it. We hold onto things in order to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2017 4:18am
We all have gone through that stuff at least once in our life but it is up to us whether or not we are going to use those words to do better, to outgrow our current versions, and to be a constant improvement, We shouldn't let those words define who we are as a person.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2018 1:22pm
Words can leave scars and that's unfortunate. I hope you would get the empowerment you need to move forward from this.