Why can't I seem to get past the words they told me, even years later?
Last Updated: 05/04/2020 at 3:41am
Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)
I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.
Top Rated Answers
Probably because those words are targeted at your insecurities, and it seems like other people are affirming what you thought was wrong with you or your bad qualities. Remind yourself that they only say these things to be hurtful, and that they don't reflect who you really are.
because they are stuck in your mind and they are very hurtful but you need to know that you are better then anything they told you because they were probably jealous and so they tried to put you down
While "they" may have put ideas into words, the fact is that you have adopted these ideas about yourself or your situation. Words that have no relationship to one's own perceptions of reality are quickly forgotten. Of course, words from people we love and trust have a greater chance of being believed. Ultimately, however, we are the ones who choose which words stick with us and which words we let go of.
Because when you've been bullied for a long time it becomes all you know, and it sticks in your head. You've just got to break through your past and live in the present.
Words hurt. They scar for so long. What is important is to realize how far you've come since you first heard the words. You're a better person. A stronger person.
Because whether we like it or not it impacted us and left a mark by someone who was important for us
We hold onto things that we do not want to accept or to let go. Our brain is very interesting and remembers little details that once created an emotion inside.
I can understand your feeling.Be positive and move on.Past is past.Thinking about that will hurt you.
Because words are really painful and they can stay with you for the longest time. The words that others say can stick with us for the longest time and we tend to always reflect on them and they always pop back into our minds regardless of the time that has passed since it was first said. It also makes it worst when we over analyse what was said and constantly revise it thinking that it might some how help but it usually has the opposite effect.
Some words tend to leave a lasting impression when we have a certain emotional response. If words hurt us or lift us up strongly, we tend to remember them.
Probably because you're still hanging on to them. You let them run through your head long enough to let it affect you years later. Try starting a new page with yourself, and loving the worst parts of you.
It is because we remember them and overtime those moments and thoughts can turn into reality which is hard to change once in that spot.
Because you care about what other people say more than your own, which you shouldn't. Trust Yourself
In short, words hurt. Insults are meant to target you where you are the most vulnerable, resulting in trauma. You are often left to wonder why you were the target, and most of the time, the person who is bullying has insecurities of their own that they do not know how to cope with.
Words are powerful. Sometimes we think we have gotten over it but something might remind us, and it's like we're hearing those words again for the first time.
Humans tend to focus on the negative, so whenever something bad happens usually that is the memory that sticks with us over the positive ones. Also sometimes when things happen we can hold onto them thinking "Oh my god I can't believe they said that to me". It's just how the brain it. We hold onto things in order to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future.
We all have gone through that stuff at least once in our life but it is up to us whether or not we are going to use those words to do better, to outgrow our current versions, and to be a constant improvement, We shouldn't let those words define who we are as a person.
Words can leave scars and that's unfortunate. I hope you would get the empowerment you need to move forward from this.
I know this feeling, Sometimes when you’re in a relationship you have a hard time letting go of old feelings and arguments. It is easier for some people to hold onto those bad feelings to somehow make up for how they’re currently feeling. It can be extremely frustrating and it can feel like you are still hurt from what was sad so long ago. Maybe the argument never got closure from so long ago and you are seeking that closure. Do you feel like you feel comfortable bringing up those concerns to them to see if you can find a solution?
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