Why can't I stop feeling afraid that people will talk about me behind my back?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 04/23/2018 at 4:50am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Dolphin, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am a client-centered therapist who works to meet clients where they're at in order to provide compassionate support and guidance.

Top Rated Answers
infinityhope10
February 28th, 2015 6:48am
No matter how many rules are laid people will talk about you behind your back. Dont worry about it as you should be happy because they think their lives and themselves are so boring but you are much more interesting. People generally do it because they are jealous they cant be you so dont be afraid and be yourself
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 6:52am
It's hard at first, as it involves your reputation. You don't know what they're talking about, and the consequences for this: who'll get involved, who's involved, what will happen next, etc. In my case, at one point I stopped caring. I know the truth. Maybe I'll beat them to it. I actually felt kind of special whenever I found out they were spreading false rumors about me behind my back after calling me a "loner". Wasting their breath on me. People will talk about you behind your back at some point; it's a part of life. It's all about acceptance, acknowledgment, self-love and standing up for yourself. It's you that really matters, not them. Keep calm and carry on.
tammy0hopeisreal
November 21st, 2015 1:41am
It is definitely hurtful when you find out about something someone said about you, whether it's a rumor, something embarrassing, etc. When it keeps happening, you want to stop it and you don't know what else to expect to hear. I know it's hard when you can't be there to defend yourself, or show the person that you heard what they said. Gossiping is not a nice thing to do at all! The only people you should hold value to in your life are the ones who believe in you, love you, and support you! :)
Anonymous
April 14th, 2015 4:50am
It is because you can not control what others think. The unknown is always the scariest. You know who you are and that should mean more than what anyone else thinks. Sometimes you have to trust that people won't.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2018 4:50am
You’re concerned what they may say or do after talking behind your back and wonder if it will be a bigger issue you eventually may need to address.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2015 5:15pm
Sometimes we feel we always tries to fit ourselves with others so we can feel accepted. This may make us feel insecure about ourselves and leads us to worry if others really accept us or just pretending to accept but talk about ua behind our back.
HopeAlways16
March 21st, 2016 10:46am
I feel like I've posted this question hahah The thing is, a lot of people experience this. I think it's just one of the common feelings that comes with social anxiety. That's the thing with social anxiety - it kills every positive thought and puts fears like that in our mind. But trust me, if you keep talking about your feelings to other people, that fear will pass. Just make sure you find the right people, people you can trust to. Soon that fear will be gone. ;)
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2015 4:29pm
It can be scary at the thought of people talking about you behind your back, its not nice for anyone to experience that, but its not always true that people are talking about you
Anonymous
May 18th, 2015 4:14pm
well they are behind you for a reason take that as motivation and keep moving you can do it keep going
LaughingWillHelp
November 30th, 2015 11:26am
Because you are insecure about yourself, you need to believe in yourself and know how fabulous you are because i am sure you are one of the best people around and work on your confidence as so what if people talk behind your back, you know you are a fabulous person anybody else's opinion should not matter.
MajesticTurtle
January 5th, 2016 12:29pm
Because I know it will happen a lot but you either never trust anyone or you trust everyone. But don't care about what they have to say care about, that your livin
Anonymous
February 15th, 2016 12:50pm
I'm that way too. Sometimes we got to learn that it doesn't matter what people think abut us. It's about what you think of yourself.
GoodVibesA
November 10th, 2015 9:50pm
Because it happens to ALL of us, ALL the time. That's one thing in life we cant control. usually when people talk about you is because they are jealous of you. And to the people that do talk about you behind your back proves that they don't have the courage to say it to your face. so it must not be that important. To the people that do talk behind your back.... Smile at them and keep walking.
BxbbleGum
October 24th, 2016 12:38am
You have someone who you are uncomfortable with so you are cautious of what they could say and do behind your back.