Why do the people bully me when I always helped them?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 03/19/2018 at 12:30am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Beth Pausic, Psy.D

Psychologist

I work collaboratively with people to foster strengths in order to transform their behavior so that they live a life that feels purposeful and values-driven.

Top Rated Answers
LilyFlowers
May 5th, 2015 6:29am
Being a people pleaser never stopped people from bullying us. I know this from personal experience. Do not give to others if they are not giving back to you. this doesn't count for random acts of kindness, but reciprocity is important for keeping balance in relationships and making sure we arent being taken advantage of. Last thing you want to do is: give give give. it wont make people like you more, and it just makes everything crumble down.
CharlotteBanana97
May 16th, 2015 7:28pm
Because people don't realise how truly grateful they should be for people who care and love them enough to help them out in times of need. You are above them.
ClaireyMarie
July 20th, 2015 7:38am
It depends on the situation. If this behavior is based in a school, I feel that people do this because they want to follow the crowd. People are often sheep, because they don't want to be singled out. Bullies can also feel better about themselves when they pick on others, regardless of how nice that person is. In my experience, bullies had personal issues in their lives. They often had family problems and didn't know how to get out their frustration, so they would pick on me to relieve some of it. I'm not saying it was right to do, but I find this does happen a lot. That's how I see it.
itwillbealright1999
May 27th, 2015 6:27am
Sometimes in order to deal with their own problems they let in out on someone else in make them feel like they have control.
tavidragonheart
June 6th, 2015 9:28am
People like to believe they are better than others. A mentality which has screwed me over often. My advice would be to carry on being nice, however associate yourself as little as possible with these people. I hope it all gets better for you. It's easier said than done, I can tell you. Good luck
Bella20
August 31st, 2015 3:01pm
Sometimes they are jealous of you. Because you succeed more than them. ANd they want to be like you. Sometimes others may turn them against you, but the reason why most of the time is because they are jealous.
friendlyDeer
November 9th, 2015 12:00pm
People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause. If you're suffering from more severe and intentional bullying, then the causes might be others.
dalya123
December 28th, 2015 5:20pm
Because they struggled a lot and have darker pasts, they think that if they hurt other people, it will make them feel better so the people who bully you struggled a lot and have a lot of insecurities and don't feel good about themselves
Actualized12
January 11th, 2016 4:03am
Most of the time, bullies are insecure themselves. They like to hurt others to make themselves feel better about their own self worth. By helping others, speaks volume in your character. It means you are a kind individual that wants the best for others. This is the best type of person that one can be.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2015 1:47pm
I'm convinced that it's because they are insecure about themselves, they're so empty inside, that they need to bother others to feel better.
PackwithMe19
June 6th, 2015 5:09pm
The psychology behind bullying is more elaborate than this but my experience tells me that it as nothing to do with you... it´s not your fault in any way and the fact that you helped someone shows your genuine intentions... the sentence "the problem it´s not you it´s me" applies and seems quite adequate to the bullying situation, where the recovery of control seems to be the main incentive to the bully... maybe you remind them someone that they would never be...
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 12:41pm
Some people don't realize the kindness of your actions, and end up taking advantage of you. They don't appreciate what you do, and that's a very negative way to treat a person. People who bully you when you've helped them in the past really don't deserve a great person like you!
HopieRemi
July 12th, 2016 8:27pm
I don't know. There's never a real reason why someone bullies anyone. Bullies are unhappy people, seeking attention and lashing out.
quietLake6290
August 1st, 2016 2:43am
Sometimes people can't see or appriciate the good things you have done for them to help them. It's vey sad people can't be thankful.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2016 3:09pm
The simple but truthful answer is because 1. Their jealous of you, Your clearly a very kind hearted giving person and they hate you for it... 2. Because they hate themselves && 3rd... Because they have taken you for granted meaning that because your such a good person, They don't think they will lose you resulting in them doing whatever they want and saying whatever they want because they think you'll stay around either way.
emperorstevee
September 20th, 2016 11:28am
Many people are unhappy with themselves, and don't feel they deserve the help. They will have built up a big wall around their mind. Part of them wants help, no one wants to feel unhappy, but then their overwhelming feeling of inferiority gets the better of them and lashes out at the person that helped them.
starryDreamer93
October 4th, 2016 11:47am
Because they are taking you for a mug they think they can speak to you how they like and if you give in and still help them they will just laugh at you.
proudSummer37
January 3rd, 2017 10:38pm
People bully you when you try to help them beacuse people do not always want help even if they need it so instead of being grateful, a person can feel embarssed and lash out instead of showing gratitude
Anonymous
March 19th, 2018 12:30am
People can bully you even when you helped them because they have fully trusted you in reaching out to you so when a bad event happens and they need to have someone to take it upon it'll be you the first person they aim it at.