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Why is everyone around me always being so mean?

121 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2020 at 1:51pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
October 26th, 2016 6:06am
Well people are just really mean sometimes 🙄 It's tough but there's always people who are about you
November 6th, 2016 1:21am
People be mean cause there is tons of reason. First it's not your fault if they are mean to you. People sometimes usually vent at other or they might have things in there life why they are acting this.
November 18th, 2016 10:59pm
Maybe because they are jealous of you. Don't take them seiously as they don't mean most of the things they say
December 17th, 2016 6:41am
Some people aren't nice, and its okay. We just have to learn to ignore what they think and what they say because at the end of the day, your opinion of yourself is all that matters.
January 19th, 2017 3:30pm
They're mean, usually because they are jealous or they feel insecure or they enjoy hurting other people.
January 24th, 2017 12:23am
Nothing. The way other people treat you, good or bad, is ALWAYS all about them, not you. You have zero control over how anyone treats you. But what you can control is your own time and attention. That's where your personal power lies, because nobody can take those things from you unless you give it to them. That makes your time and attention extremely valuable.
April 21st, 2017 10:16am
People are who they are. It's not important to understand them. But try and be nice anyway. Even the meanest one, your small act of kindness and niceness towards them will soften them up at least a tiny bit.
June 27th, 2018 3:39pm
The more we step into the outside world, away from our comfort, the more challenging the world becomes. The trick here is to stay focused on what you want to achieve and not worry too much about what others might think of it, to avoid unnecessary conversations and to understand who are your true friends and who aren't.
August 23rd, 2018 11:30pm
Not everybody will be nice. Sometimes it’s better off to always ignore the negativity. If you know that you are doing right, let the mean people get punished. Hopefully you are doing the right thing and not trying to get back at these people. That will result more difficult times. not everywhere you go people will be nice, but it’s more mature and calm when you show them that their words don’t affect you, if you fail to do this, they will keep on being mean. Or if not, you can always talk to Them about how you feel on them being mean.
August 27th, 2016 6:34am
is there anything that makes you think in such a way? moreover you are not living to impress the people who doesnt care about you ..
September 4th, 2016 6:20pm
Some of the people around you may be dealing with life's challenges as well and that could be one reason everyone is always so disconnected
September 17th, 2016 5:10am
The only way to find the answer to that is to ask them. Ask them what you did to make them so hurtful towards you. The results are amazing.
October 15th, 2016 3:14am
From what I have learned in my life, a lot of times when people are mean to you, it's because of their own personal lives. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with you. A lot of times when someone is mean, it could possibly just be their way of dealing with the issues going on in their lives. So instead of being mean back, try being friendly to them. Being mean to someone is never the answer, even if they are being mean to you.
October 15th, 2016 1:06pm
Would you please explain what people are doing to be mean? If people are often suffering with problems themselves, they tend to release their emotions on others.
October 20th, 2016 6:29pm
Because they probably don't know that you're suffering from what they do/say. Explain to them. If they don't understand you, give them time or change your relationships.
October 29th, 2016 3:23pm
Maybe you should ask. If they don't tell you, just try to be good to everyone and be proud of yourself without subestimating others
December 17th, 2016 11:52am
It may be a few reasons, maybe something is going on behind closed doors, maybe because their friends are telling them to do it, however those are NOT acceptable excuses, people are mean and there is always someone who is mean as we are not perfect, however they may think they are and they may think they can control your life, but they can't at all, I let it get to me and now it's still going on. I hope this answers your problems.
December 31st, 2016 3:36pm
Everyone has their own personal issues. It doesn't justify them being cruel to others or to you, but keep in mind that they're living a life you know nothing about, and something could be incredibly stressful and it makes them lash out. That's why the best way to fight negative is with positive!
January 7th, 2017 3:32pm
Sometimes people are mean to others because it helps them in some way. And it could be reasons to alleviate their frustration or to gain pleasure from being mean to someone. A good approach to assess this issue is to observe what started the issue (meanness) and the consequence afterwards through words, expressions, or emotions.
February 15th, 2017 8:43am
They may not be being mean, but you may instead be feeling left out. This is a completely normal feeling and it may help by talking to them.
April 16th, 2017 6:59am
In my years, I've realised that what people say or think about me doesn't really matter. It's hard sometimes, because people can be harsh. I understand that. We all do. But at the end of the day, the only opinions that matter are your own.
April 28th, 2017 4:35am
Oftentimes people who are "mean" are dealing with their own internalized pain. They may be sad. angry. or stressed over something that is going on in their personal lives. Remember that you are NOT the reason for another person's meanness.
May 7th, 2017 10:53pm
Sometimes it can be jealousy and sometimes they can just be so low about themselves that they believe being mean is the right option.
June 9th, 2017 1:11pm
It's my firm belief that people aren't inherently bad, or mean. People struggle with what they don't understand - people like to be ignorant. I find it's worth it to try and talk to who ever is being mean, and if they persist, tell someone you trust and avoid them from them on. Some people just can't be helped.
June 11th, 2017 6:18am
People are mean is because they don't know they're being mean or because that's how they feel or they're scared so they want come out strong.There is so many reasons why someone could be mean.
June 15th, 2017 3:54pm
Sometimes people thoughtlessly lash out and hurt others in order to make themselves feel better. Sometimes there is no malice, only thoughtlessness and apathy. When this happens, do not let anything devalue you. You are worthy of love and respect as anyone.
August 13th, 2017 2:37pm
It definitely can seem that everyone is mean when you are in a bad environment. It is important to remember that a few people do not represent the entire population. There are nice people out there, but it may take some time to find them but don't lose hope! :)
August 16th, 2017 7:03am
Try stepping outside of yourself for a second. Try wearing someone else's shoes if you will. Are you sure that they are being mean to you? Every person you know is being mean to you for no reason at all? Or perhaps you aren't quite seeing things clearly. It may be that you have become sensitive to others behavior and self conscious. On the other hand if they are always been get rid of them! No one has time for hate and negativity in their life. Our time is too valuable.
September 3rd, 2017 12:16pm
Probably you are just surrounded by the wrong kind of people...if there is any way you can completely avoid them please do so but if you cant,then just try to not engage with them much and also never feel there is something wrong with you that they are being mean.
September 21st, 2017 1:42pm
Because they misunderstood you. Not knowing what trials you've faced and the events you've had. Despite all of these people, there is someone who will try to understand and wanting to know you and that will can be a long lasting relationship with them.