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Why is everyone around me always being so mean?

121 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2020 at 1:51pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
October 8th, 2017 7:23pm
People can be mean, I agree. People can even be hypocrites if you poke them unguarded (meaning when they really don't know what to say in a situation where they can otherwise say except this moment that I am talking about, they can get mean). Getting mean is really an instinctive way of getting around things. It's really one's superb way to get around things; efficiency and inefficiency of the mind and the consciousness of body kicks in here. It takes discipline and training of the mind to remain kind to everybody. Kindness doesn't come easy, it's the result of the lifetime endurance and knowledge to satisfy yourself, to remain sturdy into that heavy rainfall of life. P.S.: Remember, kindness has the power to make the mean sayer think about what they say.
October 25th, 2017 2:02pm
The people around you don't know how you feel and what they are saying. If you try telling them that the things they say hurt your feeling they will understand and be more caring. But don't surround yourself with negativity. Find a positive location.
November 10th, 2017 10:03am
Defence mechanisms, we all have them. Some people want to compensate for traits that they lack, some people want retribution from traumatic experiences, some people are just incapable of empathising.
November 12th, 2017 1:41am
Sometimes people just hate you for no reason. I know it seems crazy but sometimes how people treat you is a reflection of their character, not yours. Sometimes people are jealous. Jealousy is hate and anger fueled by self consciousness. Don't let anyone bring you down. At the end of the day, those negative people are insignificant. Don't you EVER let them ruin your happiness because then they've won. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
November 19th, 2017 6:16pm
I think it's just them doing whatever they feel. Your special and worth it I promise, people are always mean although you don't do anything to them
November 23rd, 2017 9:43am
We pay attention to negativity more than positivity, sometimes people dont notice theyre being cold or distant or even mean, dont take it personally and try to consciously be positive and kind, people tend to mimic the actions of others,
December 29th, 2017 1:13am
How people act towards you is a reflection of themselves and how they feel about themselves. If they are being mean it means they probably aren't in a very caring place for themselves. Try not to question your own worth based on how others treat you.
January 3rd, 2018 12:37am
Because they are probably jealous or it makes them feel good about themselves to hurt others feelings.
January 20th, 2018 8:37pm
People aren't mean without reason. Have you ever noticed how you behave towards these people? Your own behaviour might be the reason people are mean.
February 8th, 2018 2:12pm
Sometimes people are mean because they don't understand you, they're jealous of you, or they're intimidated by you. It may not seem like it at the time but sometimes people are worried that you are better than them and so try to make you feel as bad about yourself as they do.
February 18th, 2018 1:47am
Think about your personal boundaries, confidence and assertiveness. Let people know how they are making you feel and why you think they are being mean. See if you can change the way you feel about their behaviour.
March 8th, 2018 8:19am
I guess because they are either jealous of you. You have something they cannot possess and they envy you for that.
March 30th, 2018 1:18am
There is an increadable amount of social and psychological upheaval prevailing currently on Earth. The vibrational level due to some sort of cosmic rays bombarding our planet is unprecedented, the effect of which is driving many folks absolutely nuts. Best strategy for you is to find refuge with others less effected by this ascension process. It will all come to pass but for now it is essential and critical to protect yourself from others less fortunate to possess your apparent resilience.
April 4th, 2018 7:11pm
Sometimes people don't know how to express the way they feel, so just rely on anger to solve the issue and make the person go away from them. Some times it may be your attitude that makes them act this way, just because they don't like it doesn't mean they can still justify their rude behavior.
April 4th, 2018 8:42pm
not everyone is mean, it is just those who were and the people who are around you, keep on seeking for friends and nice people, because they are out there
April 15th, 2018 4:17am
Everyone has a mean streak in them, it’s what makes us human to have flaws but nobody can or make you feel inferior. The people being mean may have issues and lash out as a way of coping, they may have problems and don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe asking them why there feeling this way
April 19th, 2018 5:28am
Because they think you’re different, and different means unique. Don’t lower yourself to their level, you’re better than them
April 25th, 2018 9:33pm
Maybe you should just ask them! Try to understand it, maybe its a misunderstanding or something you can easily fix,
April 28th, 2018 8:46am
Could be many reasons: 1) You're judging people in a wrong way so you think they're mean. 2) people are actually mean, and you're allowing them to be mean to you. 3) You've done something very wrong you might not knowing about it but they do, so they're being mean to you.
May 4th, 2018 9:43pm
These people may not know you and decide to stick with just their friends. They could also be jealous so they are rude to you so you don't feel as good about your self.
May 5th, 2018 4:47am
Your surrounding yourself with the wrong people then, you deserve people who love and appreciate you for you, don't stay around people that make you feel any less than you deserve,
May 9th, 2018 5:40pm
Some people may not like you,but that doesn't mean you should pay too much attention to them.just be you and stay away from negative people.
May 23rd, 2018 12:43am
Insecure and lack of confidence. Probably jealous of you and if they aren’t happy within themselves they won’t like to see other people happy
June 2nd, 2018 12:06am
Not everyone you meet in life will be nice. You have to find the nice people who love you for yourself and not the change you will be. I'm more than happy to talk about it
June 6th, 2018 5:19pm
Maybe people have been mean to them and they are hurt so they choose to be a mean person to bring others with them. They may think that they are not even hurting others. Maybe they want to be mean to be friends with you
July 1st, 2018 1:59pm
Sometimes everyone can 'seem' to be mean all around us but you should never believe that. There are 7 billion people across the world and many are mean, we cant deny that and unfortunately many are growing meaner and crueler by the second but not EVERYONE is mean. Someone is nice and maybe you just have to leave the place you are to believe this for yourself.
July 5th, 2018 2:18am
Probably because they’re unhappy about themself and their life or haven’t experienced any kindness from people. They think that if they treats others bad they’ll feel better about themself. Just don’t listen to them. And be kind. Maybe they need it.
July 8th, 2018 3:12am
If everyone around you is always being mean, it is most likely because they have something going on in their life that is too much for them to deal with and they lash out to make themselves feel better
July 21st, 2018 5:59am
The people that are being mean to you might be going through a tough time them self and the night not know how to deal with it
July 25th, 2018 11:18am
Anxiety and triggers from traumatic experiences in the past can create very suspicious characters which are more in mood to feel discriminated or badly treated then other people. On the other hand someone can show a behavior grounded on her/his individual history and experiences that others can make feel to protect them selfes. If this behavior is shown unwanted and maybe even unconsciously by a someone, it really can confuse all affected people in the communication.