Why is everyone around me always being so mean?
152 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2022 at 2:29am
Moderated by
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
It may be a few reasons, maybe something is going on behind closed doors, maybe because their friends are telling them to do it, however those are NOT acceptable excuses, people are mean and there is always someone who is mean as we are not perfect, however they may think they are and they may think they can control your life, but they can't at all, I let it get to me and now it's still going on. I hope this answers your problems.
Everyone has their own personal issues. It doesn't justify them being cruel to others or to you, but keep in mind that they're living a life you know nothing about, and something could be incredibly stressful and it makes them lash out.
That's why the best way to fight negative is with positive!
Anonymous
January 7th, 2017 3:32pm
Sometimes people are mean to others because it helps them in some way. And it could be reasons to alleviate their frustration or to gain pleasure from being mean to someone. A good approach to assess this issue is to observe what started the issue (meanness) and the consequence afterwards through words, expressions, or emotions.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2017 8:43am
They may not be being mean, but you may instead be feeling left out. This is a completely normal feeling and it may help by talking to them.
Sometimes it can be jealousy and sometimes they can just be so low about themselves that they believe being mean is the right option.
Try stepping outside of yourself for a second. Try wearing someone else's shoes if you will. Are you sure that they are being mean to you? Every person you know is being mean to you for no reason at all? Or perhaps you aren't quite seeing things clearly. It may be that you have become sensitive to others behavior and self conscious. On the other hand if they are always been get rid of them! No one has time for hate and negativity in their life. Our time is too valuable.
Because they misunderstood you. Not knowing what trials you've faced and the events you've had. Despite all of these people, there is someone who will try to understand and wanting to know you and that will can be a long lasting relationship with them.
People can be mean, I agree. People can even be hypocrites if you poke them unguarded (meaning when they really don't know what to say in a situation where they can otherwise say except this moment that I am talking about, they can get mean). Getting mean is really an instinctive way of getting around things. It's really one's superb way to get around things; efficiency and inefficiency of the mind and the consciousness of body kicks in here. It takes discipline and training of the mind to remain kind to everybody. Kindness doesn't come easy, it's the result of the lifetime endurance and knowledge to satisfy yourself, to remain sturdy into that heavy rainfall of life.
P.S.: Remember, kindness has the power to make the mean sayer think about what they say.
The people around you don't know how you feel and what they are saying. If you try telling them that the things they say hurt your feeling they will understand and be more caring. But don't surround yourself with negativity. Find a positive location.
Defence mechanisms, we all have them. Some people want to compensate for traits that they lack, some people want retribution from traumatic experiences, some people are just incapable of empathising.
Sometimes people just hate you for no reason. I know it seems crazy but sometimes how people treat you is a reflection of their character, not yours. Sometimes people are jealous. Jealousy is hate and anger fueled by self consciousness. Don't let anyone bring you down. At the end of the day, those negative people are insignificant. Don't you EVER let them ruin your happiness because then they've won. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I think it's just them doing whatever they feel. Your special and worth it I promise, people are always mean although you don't do anything to them
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 9:43am
We pay attention to negativity more than positivity, sometimes people dont notice theyre being cold or distant or even mean, dont take it personally and try to consciously be positive and kind, people tend to mimic the actions of others,
How people act towards you is a reflection of themselves and how they feel about themselves. If they are being mean it means they probably aren't in a very caring place for themselves. Try not to question your own worth based on how others treat you.
Because they are probably jealous or it makes them feel good about themselves to hurt others feelings.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2018 8:37pm
People aren't mean without reason. Have you ever noticed how you behave towards these people? Your own behaviour might be the reason people are mean.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 2:12pm
Sometimes people are mean because they don't understand you, they're jealous of you, or they're intimidated by you. It may not seem like it at the time but sometimes people are worried that you are better than them and so try to make you feel as bad about yourself as they do.
Think about your personal boundaries, confidence and assertiveness. Let people know how they are making you feel and why you think they are being mean. See if you can change the way you feel about their behaviour.
I guess because they are either jealous of you. You have something they cannot possess and they envy you for that.
There is an increadable amount of social and psychological upheaval prevailing currently on Earth. The vibrational level due to some sort of cosmic rays bombarding our planet is unprecedented, the effect of which is driving many folks absolutely nuts. Best strategy for you is to find refuge with others less effected by this ascension process. It will all come to pass but for now it is essential and critical to protect yourself from others less fortunate to possess your apparent resilience.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 7:11pm
Sometimes people don't know how to express the way they feel, so just rely on anger to solve the issue and make the person go away from them. Some times it may be your attitude that makes them act this way, just because they don't like it doesn't mean they can still justify their rude behavior.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 8:42pm
not everyone is mean, it is just those who were and the people who are around you, keep on seeking for friends and nice people, because they are out there
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 4:17am
Everyone has a mean streak in them, it’s what makes us human to have flaws but nobody can or make you feel inferior. The people being mean may have issues and lash out as a way of coping, they may have problems and don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe asking them why there feeling this way
Because they think you’re different, and different means unique. Don’t lower yourself to their level, you’re better than them
Maybe you should just ask them! Try to understand it, maybe its a misunderstanding or something you can easily fix,
Could be many reasons:
1) You're judging people in a wrong way so you think they're mean.
2) people are actually mean, and you're allowing them to be mean to you.
3) You've done something very wrong you might not knowing about it but they do, so they're being mean to you.
These people may not know you and decide to stick with just their friends. They could also be jealous so they are rude to you so you don't feel as good about your self.
Your surrounding yourself with the wrong people then, you deserve people who love and appreciate you for you, don't stay around people that make you feel any less than you deserve,
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 5:40pm
Some people may not like you,but that doesn't mean you should pay too much attention to them.just be you and stay away from negative people.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 12:43am
Insecure and lack of confidence. Probably jealous of you and if they aren’t happy within themselves they won’t like to see other people happy
Related Questions: Why is everyone around me always being so mean?
Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?How do I know if I'm a bully?How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?How do you get over the feeling that people are laughing at you?What's the difference between bullying and teasing?My husband makes fun of my child's weight. What am I supposed to do?