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Why is it so hard to keep friends?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 05/01/2018 at 10:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
April 12th, 2015 6:37am
Keeping friends takes relationship maintenance, which can be extremely time consuming. If you find yourself unable to take the time to keep a healthy friendship, I say be honest about the situation. If they are your friends, they will understand the difficulty of finding time to hang out.
April 19th, 2016 12:56am
People are complicated and everyone has different wants and expectations. Some people need to chat and others need to go out. It's hard to keep friends because not everyone will be the friend you want or expect and you can't always be what someone wants or expects. Finding a balance between what you want and what they want is sometimes hard to do.
August 18th, 2015 6:56am
It may be hard to keep them because they never were your real friends in the first place. Real friends wouldn't be hard to keep.
November 23rd, 2015 12:39am
Because people change. They may like something one day and drop it the next. When you find a true friend your gold. You'll never lose them.
April 9th, 2015 7:29am
Dear Readers, many of you may wonder why keeping friends are so hard. Perhaps after entering college you start feeling lost and alone without because you friends no longer have the same schedules as you; as working and balancing college/university courses. The bottom line is the small group of individuals you kept as friends in high school may shrink simply because schedules don't match, life changes, and people change. Don't worry, it takes time but some college friends last a lifetime, these are the people who may stick by you along with the 1 - 2 friends who remained after high school. This is completely normal.
June 7th, 2015 11:55pm
Why is it so hard to keep friends? Well, everyone has their own life and their own lives to attend to. during your teens spontaneous choices and actions gained you friends who you'd keep in touch with and do things with very often. But as your age progresses, marriage, kids and work leads that to turn from spontaneous 'lets go into town' into checking your diary for a free evening. An action which often leads to cancellations and eventually a loss of substantial contact. But some friends are lost even during your teens. A loss of a friend in your teens is usually due to changing personalities. and lifestyles. People whom get along may find themselves eventually drift out of contact because they simply don't click, and that may be from simply different subject choices and hobbies to Different lifestyles and 'social class'.
October 3rd, 2015 7:27pm
Because those are not the right friends, not for you anyway, keep being you and be patient, the right friends will come...till then be your own best friend and love yourself immensely.
January 24th, 2015 1:45pm
Well there are so many people in the earth and we cant get on well with every single person in earth.It is normal.Some people'll come some people'll go
February 19th, 2015 5:09pm
Personally I am a pretty private person and in my experience friendships can be quite the maintenance post. Keeping up with what friends do and where they are in their lives costs time and sometimes money or other resources. That time and money, in my opinion, is always well spent. Good friends are hard to come by so should always be properly cared for and sought out. But it's a lot of work, it does not come to you for free.
May 27th, 2015 8:59am
If they go easily , that means they aren't true friends , what comes by struggling stays longer And what comes easy leaves easily . a person can never know which one is their true friend or bestfriend , but when u need a hand to hold u or a shoulder to cry on , that when you can see the difference between the people around you
July 25th, 2016 8:35am
I can't answer your question. I find that when people don't have something and are not working for that thing ...they may not care to not have those things. Why do you think you don't want to keep friends? Your friends might be seasonal friends or you have an aspect of your character that people don't want around them.
September 26th, 2016 11:42pm
It can be difficult to maintain friendships depending on how close they are to us, how often we see them, and how often we speak to them
March 5th, 2018 1:21am
Friends can be hard to keep because of long term distance friendship, not being able to recognize a previous friends face, having a hard time keeping trust in friendship after opening up for a very long time.
May 1st, 2018 10:56am
It is not hard, you just might have been with the wrong ones, or you're doing it wrong. Being friends is about understanding each other's state so even if you're far away from each others, you are still close together through hearts. A true friend who loves you so much that he/she won't make excuses to leave you.