Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why me? Why not others? Why do they bully me?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 10/30/2018 at 4:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy


I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
June 3rd, 2015 4:44pm
Maybe because you have something they would like to have, or you are something they would like to be. There is always somethins that triggers the attitude of the other (in this case, the ones who bully you). There is something in you that makes them feel anger, even though they may be laughing when they are mean to you. Many bullies are victims too, maybe not in school, but in their homes, and in some cases they can see in you what they're asked to be but they can't be. I'm never justifying them, no one has the right to treat you this way, and no one will ever have it, you're as valuable as everyone else, never forget that. Why you, it depends in a lot of factors, but on my experience I can tell you that: they see in you the representation of the thing that is making them feel anger and sadness.
August 25th, 2015 11:37am
Because bullies are usually insecure themselve, and they come together to bully someone else to feel stronger about themselves. It's not fair at all, I know that. You deserve better, try not to give them any attention, they don't deserve it. Stay strong.
June 3rd, 2015 7:39am
Every single bully torments others because they have problems in their own life. I used to be a bully and I only did it because I was insecure and hated my life. Instead of asking why me, ask, why not me? Why can't I turn this around. I can make this into a positive situation and grow stronger, and perhaps even change the bullies themselves. One day, it'll be all over and you won't have to face them anymore.
May 23rd, 2015 6:40pm
To make themselves feel better. They probably do bully others and you just don't see it. It's easy to not be paying attention to what a bully does with/to someone else because you're busy being afraid of what happen to you next.
August 18th, 2015 4:09pm
They bully you because there jealous and know how wonderful and amazing you truly are. Other people get bullied to and its not just you. ❤Your not alone.
August 11th, 2015 12:57pm
whatever you do, do not give up on life. Things don't last forever. They probably bully you because you are different and don't fit into the way they think others should be. They are not perfect and oftentimes they bully to prevent others from looking at them and their issues. It would be a very good idea to learn self defence and get a punching bag. The punching bag can help relieve your anger and frustrations. Don't hit back at the bullies though, that is never a good idea. It will only increase the bulling. Just ignore them as much as you can (don't visibly react) and defend when You need to. They should get bored and move on. There is no point to bullying if it doesn't get a reaction. Bullying is meant to incite anger, shame and fear. If you don't react, then the bulling becomes ineffective. Then release your anger and frustrations with the punching bag. Never hold that emotion inside. It turns you into a bitter and depressed person. Also talk to your principle, teachers and school counselor and let them know what is happening. Don't whinge though, try to come across as mature and businesslike (eg hi Bla bla bla, I want to talk to you about a problem I've been experiencing, I'm being bullied and I would like to know what steps I can take, etc). They may be able to stop some of the bullying and also help you with your grades. The counselor is good to talk to if it becomes overwhelming. If they don't know, how can they help? In regards to your mum, does she know what is going on in your life? It might be a good idea to sit down with her and/or your dad and tell them what is happening. Tell her that her always yelling at you is making you feel like ****. Ask her for support and to see if there are other things you can do to improve on your grades eg tutor. If your mum still hassles you and nitpicks at everything you do, actively listen to what she is saying and acknowledge her point in front of her (even if it is ****), and try to resolve the issues (either by doing what she says, compromising and having discussions about them). Lastly, find something that you love doing, and immerse yourself in it. Know that you are good at something and you do have positive aspects. Make goals for life and focus on them. Actively work towards these goals. Never forget your dreams.
September 22nd, 2015 7:49pm
usually bullies pick an easy target someone who is vulnerable or someone that won't tell an adult or just someone that will give the reaction that they are trying to get a bully is a bully because they are hurting inside so they try to pick on someone else
June 7th, 2016 12:49am
People bully you because they're jelous. They don't understand. They secretly admire you but can't admit it.
August 24th, 2015 12:58pm
The bullies see good qualities in you that they don't have themselves, and many act out of jealousy.
June 22nd, 2015 8:55pm
Bullies mainly bully people they can get a reaction out of. If you are giving them that reaction that they are searching for then that may be while they are bullying you. Let your smile change the world. But don't let the world change your smile.
July 6th, 2015 5:50pm
Maybe they are doing it just for fun to be cool/popular or maybe if it's the other gender maybe they like you.
October 18th, 2016 4:41pm
Because of insecurities i think? Maybe you have those chracteristics that they haven't. Just ignore themw
March 16th, 2015 2:16am
Definition of bullying: Bulling is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform. Tim Field Foundation 2015 From the many definitions that have been created, and considering our understanding of what bullying is, we coined this definition in 2015, and we believe it is unambiguous and that it cannot be used by a rational person to define innocent or legitimate behaviour as bullying. Pre-existing definitions, some of which helped us formulate the above, are here: Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating or insulting behaviour, abuse of power, or unfair punishment which upsets, threatens and/or humiliates the recipient(s), undermining their self-confidence, reputation and ability to perform. Derived from "Bullying at work: how to tackle it. A guide for MSF representatives and members: MSF 1995 When considering the reasonableness of the conduct in question, the perpetrator can be expected to give an innocent reason for their actions. However, their claimed intention does not define the reasonableness of their conduct: The prime consideration must be the effect of the conduct on the recipient. Context is everything. The persistence, the pattern and the effect of incidents which are, in isolation, trivial, creates the context in which those incidents can be regarded as bullying. Examples of the sort of incidents and the patterns are given below. Accusing someone of wrongdoing whilst knowing there are no grounds to do so is not fair and cannot be done in good faith, undermines a person's reputation and self confidence and is therefore bullying. Conversely, making a complaint, holding someone to account for substandard work or conduct, reporting malpractice etc, done with honest justification, fairly and in good faith, is not "bullying".
December 1st, 2015 11:11pm
You shouldn't read too much into this. Sometimes there is no reason. Abusive personalities pick a random victim for no reason. Sometimes they don't even realize they are bullies and they are targeting you.
June 17th, 2015 4:19am
I bet you you've herd this before and I have no doubt that you sick of hearing it but from when I got bullied and got told this loads I now know its true. Their jealous of you! You are a strong young person and you clearly have something that they envy. It could be a supportive family, it could be more friends, it could be that you have more going for you. Even the smallest things could be something they envy so just keep reminding yourself that your better than them.
August 27th, 2015 9:13am
For me, I was bullied because I was the only one who questioned the bully's behaviour. Because I stood up to her and called her out. Sometimes they bully you because you're a stronger person than they'll ever be, and they just can't accept that.
November 17th, 2015 3:35pm
They choose who they think is weaker. If someone will stand to them then they won't bully you. They may have issues at home or in school to where they do that. It's not ok no matter what
October 30th, 2018 4:05pm
The psychology behind bullying is often that the bully feels inferior and is experiencing a lot of their own insecurities. The easiest and laziest way for someone to feel superior instead is to tear others down! You may be someone who they are jealous of/want to be as good as, so they are making you feel inferior. When in fact, you are in their eyes, superior! Stay true to yourself, and stay above their lazy attempt to feel good about themselves. One day people will realise how toxic they are, and admire you for your courage! You can do this, use this experience to better yourself, and maybe make something out of it!
April 14th, 2015 8:46pm
Bullying is a very serious issue and often bullies are the ones who feel insecure about certain aspects of themselves. Perhaps there is something about you that they pick on one for - their hair, their sexuality, their voice, etc. These could be qualities that they themselves have and are struggling with. This doesn't justify their abuse, of course, but it can help you gain a bit of perspective. I encourage you to inform someone of the abuse and utilize helpful resources so that this issue can be solved for you. Best of luck!
May 18th, 2015 7:53pm
Often, bullies target people to make themselves feel better. As I do not know you or them, I can not declare why they would pick you over other people, but it's possible that they feel jealous of you for some reason. Perhaps they feel unhappy that you don't bend to peer pressure as much as they do or perhaps they miss a solid home life. Who knows what their problem is. :( Fortunately, bullying doesn't last forever because they will get tired of being a jerk all of the time. :D
June 29th, 2015 7:31pm
I used to think the same I used to hate going to school because i was bullied spat at punched used as a human trampoline they used to steal my dinner money, these bullies are the weak ones they try to intimidate you I was called some hurtful names your not alone in this. I had to learn to ignore them I know it sounds like its easy its not. Tell responsible members of staff at school start to beleive in yourself because your so much better than these people.
April 10th, 2018 7:39pm
Generally, when people bully you, it's because you have something they wish they had, or because of the reaction you give.