Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 07/24/2019 at 10:11pm
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Top Rated Answers
July 13th, 2017 5:45pm
People who are in pain often inflict it upon others. Pain takes away a lot of our moral compasses, leaving us with only the primal thoughts of the need to survive and take down others and make them feel our pain. We think that if other people were to suffer too, it would make our suffering lessen.
July 26th, 2017 8:34pm
These people have poor emotion management. They hold maladaptive beliefs such as believing that by seeing others suffer and be in pain, it would help to make them feel less alone - this is incorrect and only leads to a continuing cycle of sadness/anger.
July 27th, 2017 4:13pm
Sometimes those who are hurt are angry. Angry souls don't always wish to inflict pain upon others, but sometimes, we do it out of habit and fear.. it's a defense mechanism. We want to be alone, it's the way the human mind works. It's a strange motive, yes, but it happens to the best of us! When someone is in pain, be careful and cautious. You don't want to harm them in any way.
July 29th, 2017 3:10pm
As an empathetic person, this is something I have really struggled to understand. I have a good friend who opened up to me recently that she used to bully others when they were feeling vulnerable. My friend told me that when she felt really vulnerable, she wanted to feel like she could have some power-- sometimes power over other people. A lot of people in pain feel as though they have been wronged by other people, and as an attempt to cope feel the need to seek revenge on the people that have hurt them. Because they don't always have access to the same people, it can cause them to turn that frustration onto another target.
August 4th, 2017 10:01am
That must be because they are unwilling to face the truth and shift the blame onto someone else. However, it makes an endless cycle. If they hurt those close to them, they would get hurt in return. But it's possible for them not to stop because no one is guiding them towards the right path.
August 4th, 2017 10:07am
Someone in pain probably feels a lot of anger and hurt. Sometimes people with anger and hurt can misdirect their feelings to other people. There are various reasons why an angry and hurt individual might want to project their feelings on to others such as attention, projection, or an outlet. There are many more other reasons.
August 6th, 2017 9:16pm
Because a person who is in pain , will feel rejected and unwanted so they push away others ,and they will start feeling the pain
August 10th, 2017 11:10am
Their mindset might be that, if they are in pain, everybody else must be too. Whether it's mental or physical, they feel as if they don't deserve this pain, so they want others to be unhappy as well.
August 12th, 2017 12:44am
because they want someone to understand how they feel and feel it with them. They dont want to be alone and feel hatred againt those who arent feeling what they are feeling (sometimes)
August 26th, 2017 11:35pm
A lot of the time, people who are in pain tend to wish others feel pain too. This is because they're incredibly angry at the pain they suffer and so they believe it's only fair that everyone else feels pain with them. However this isn't a healthy emotional expression, it's much healthier to help others and seek help rather than upset everyone else too.
September 2nd, 2017 9:55pm
The problem with people in pain is simply either they do not realize they are hurting others, or they believe this is some kind of revenge. I suppose sub consciously, they also redirect their own pain to others as a way to express themselves in both cases. Either way, this behavior must be stopped, and the person must be made aware of how they are hurting others and giving alternatives to find peace and heal themselves before it is too late.
October 29th, 2017 8:01pm
Because they want the others to know what they are going through, it somehow makes them feel less pain because the other people are feeling far more pain than the bully him/herself. I do not understand completely, but I believe this is one of the biggest reasons.
November 9th, 2017 12:02pm
We live in a world of good and evil, with many gradations in between. The coarse, lower substance of evil is a distortion of the divine. Without the divine it cannot exist. Nonetheless, it derives merits out of bringing beings to act out our base, bodily selves. The pleasure that we get from diminishing others can get addictive, if we do not realize the full cost of doing so.
November 10th, 2017 8:34pm
So that they aren't alone and someone else goes thought the misery they go through on a daily basis.
November 16th, 2017 3:51pm
The reason that may be is because misery loves company. So if your in pain the most used response is to have others in pain as well as a self gratifying result
November 19th, 2017 12:33am
because they think if they suffer pain, others around that don't care to offer help, should feel the same emotional, physical pain
November 29th, 2017 3:37pm
Because it makes someone feel better about themselves. And it will make others feel better about themselves also.
November 30th, 2017 1:54am
It can be due to many factors. One of which can be anger this means that the person could have anger issues and their only solution is to hurt others instead of finding a solution. Best thing to do is to tell someone so you are safe from any pain or suffering
December 8th, 2017 9:01pm
Sometimes, it is difficult for those in pain to deal with their emotions, so they feel as if they need to lash out instead of coping with their emotions
December 17th, 2017 9:57am
To some individuals that pain that is inside them is to much and they need to get it out. Sometimes that is to themselves other times, it's to others. Sometime they see similarities between themselves and other individuals and makes them want to lash out that way. Sometimes it's because they are envious or jealous, or believe that if they are in one way/state others need to also. There are loads of reasons why.
December 17th, 2017 3:51pm
Because they want someone to be able to understand whatever type of pain they are going through, be it emotional pain or physical pain. And sometimes some may do it for revenge.
December 17th, 2017 4:38pm
Because they want others to suffer like they did. It's a very selfish action, but sometimes people are just so broken that they'll make mistakes they're gonna regret later. For example, if someone stole your favorite teddy bear and threw it away, you (may) would want to throw everyone else's stuffed animals away too, because you're sad you lost yours.
December 31st, 2017 9:30pm
It can be a matter of feeling greater than they are, that is sometimes when someone is in pain they may feel weak and to reverse that they'll make someone feel inferior to them.
January 18th, 2018 6:32pm
Pain can be caused by so many different factors. If it is an external factor, people may be less likely to strike out against other people. However, this could also teach this person to be aggressive. Internal conflicts are the stereotypical bully who doesn’t understand themselves, so they act aggressively towards others.
January 19th, 2018 12:58am
Someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others to make others feel bad about a situation only to make themselves feel better at times.
January 20th, 2018 1:19pm
Because they want to make that person feel what they felt. There could be jealously involved that this person hasn't experienced what they went through. They want to inflict that pain to see the reaction how it might make them feel.
January 20th, 2018 4:38pm
Have you ever heard the saying 'hurt people hurt people'? By inflicting pain on other people they are projecting their own unhealthy feelings onto you because they are not in a place where they are able to communicate healthily. The hardest part is being on the receiving end of this treatment but you have to try really hard to not take it personally. Because 9 times out of 10, it's not about you, it is about how THEY are feeling. If it's someone you really care about and want in to keep in your life, try and get to the bottom of their behaviour. Maybe ask them why they feel the need to hurt others (remember to approach with sensitivity and zero judgement). If this person isn't dear to you it is best to remove yourself from the situation as you hold no responsibility to them and your mental being and happiness comes before anyone else'.
January 24th, 2018 4:45pm
"We destroy other people because we're afraid of them destroying us"-my teacher, on the question, KSB, 2018
January 25th, 2018 12:45am
The way I see it, this is a deflection technique (pushing their pain/issue onto others to avoid it themselves) that can have many different intentions behind it. Sometimes people who are in pain emotionally or physically want to inflict it onto others because they do not want to be alone in their pain, and feel that "sharing it out" so to speak will make them feel better. Much like when you have something on your mind, it often feels better to tell someone right? Another example of this is someone who is in pain purposefully hurting someone else in order to distract them from the fact that they themselves are in pain, or the source of the problem. Either way, most of the time it is not done maliciously. It is done to hide weakness and vulnerability. The best thing you can do is tell them that you understand and you are willing to help and support them through their difficult time, however you are not an emotional punching bag and you need to be treated with some respect. Support, encouragement and love!
January 25th, 2018 1:31am
People who are in pain sometimes want other people to feel how they are feeling, or they feel so much pain that it turns into anger and they don't know what to do with it.