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Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?

206 Answers
Last Updated: 02/25/2021 at 8:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Social disorders counseling social psychology, substance use disorder counsel

Top Rated Answers
Georgia
August 26th, 2017 11:35pm
A lot of the time, people who are in pain tend to wish others feel pain too. This is because they're incredibly angry at the pain they suffer and so they believe it's only fair that everyone else feels pain with them. However this isn't a healthy emotional expression, it's much healthier to help others and seek help rather than upset everyone else too.
Luvnbeast
September 2nd, 2017 9:55pm
The problem with people in pain is simply either they do not realize they are hurting others, or they believe this is some kind of revenge. I suppose sub consciously, they also redirect their own pain to others as a way to express themselves in both cases. Either way, this behavior must be stopped, and the person must be made aware of how they are hurting others and giving alternatives to find peace and heal themselves before it is too late.
SpaceIsAmazingAndYouAreToo
October 29th, 2017 8:01pm
Because they want the others to know what they are going through, it somehow makes them feel less pain because the other people are feeling far more pain than the bully him/herself. I do not understand completely, but I believe this is one of the biggest reasons.
ElleFriend
November 9th, 2017 12:02pm
We live in a world of good and evil, with many gradations in between. The coarse, lower substance of evil is a distortion of the divine. Without the divine it cannot exist. Nonetheless, it derives merits out of bringing beings to act out our base, bodily selves. The pleasure that we get from diminishing others can get addictive, if we do not realize the full cost of doing so.
SeemsC
November 10th, 2017 8:34pm
So that they aren't alone and someone else goes thought the misery they go through on a daily basis.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 3:51pm
The reason that may be is because misery loves company. So if your in pain the most used response is to have others in pain as well as a self gratifying result
Anonymous
November 29th, 2017 3:37pm
Because it makes someone feel better about themselves. And it will make others feel better about themselves also.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2017 1:54am
It can be due to many factors. One of which can be anger this means that the person could have anger issues and their only solution is to hurt others instead of finding a solution. Best thing to do is to tell someone so you are safe from any pain or suffering
Dominical
December 17th, 2017 9:57am
To some individuals that pain that is inside them is to much and they need to get it out. Sometimes that is to themselves other times, it's to others. Sometime they see similarities between themselves and other individuals and makes them want to lash out that way. Sometimes it's because they are envious or jealous, or believe that if they are in one way/state others need to also. There are loads of reasons why.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2017 3:51pm
Because they want someone to be able to understand whatever type of pain they are going through, be it emotional pain or physical pain. And sometimes some may do it for revenge.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2017 4:38pm
Because they want others to suffer like they did. It's a very selfish action, but sometimes people are just so broken that they'll make mistakes they're gonna regret later. For example, if someone stole your favorite teddy bear and threw it away, you (may) would want to throw everyone else's stuffed animals away too, because you're sad you lost yours.
dazedviky14
December 31st, 2017 9:30pm
It can be a matter of feeling greater than they are, that is sometimes when someone is in pain they may feel weak and to reverse that they'll make someone feel inferior to them.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 6:32pm
Pain can be caused by so many different factors. If it is an external factor, people may be less likely to strike out against other people. However, this could also teach this person to be aggressive. Internal conflicts are the stereotypical bully who doesn’t understand themselves, so they act aggressively towards others.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2018 12:58am
Someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others to make others feel bad about a situation only to make themselves feel better at times.
amazingPup68
January 20th, 2018 1:19pm
Because they want to make that person feel what they felt. There could be jealously involved that this person hasn't experienced what they went through. They want to inflict that pain to see the reaction how it might make them feel.
alejwp
January 20th, 2018 4:38pm
Have you ever heard the saying 'hurt people hurt people'? By inflicting pain on other people they are projecting their own unhealthy feelings onto you because they are not in a place where they are able to communicate healthily. The hardest part is being on the receiving end of this treatment but you have to try really hard to not take it personally. Because 9 times out of 10, it's not about you, it is about how THEY are feeling. If it's someone you really care about and want in to keep in your life, try and get to the bottom of their behaviour. Maybe ask them why they feel the need to hurt others (remember to approach with sensitivity and zero judgement). If this person isn't dear to you it is best to remove yourself from the situation as you hold no responsibility to them and your mental being and happiness comes before anyone else'.
ashtonStrawberry
January 24th, 2018 4:45pm
"We destroy other people because we're afraid of them destroying us"-my teacher, on the question, KSB, 2018
lucyy
January 25th, 2018 12:45am
The way I see it, this is a deflection technique (pushing their pain/issue onto others to avoid it themselves) that can have many different intentions behind it. Sometimes people who are in pain emotionally or physically want to inflict it onto others because they do not want to be alone in their pain, and feel that "sharing it out" so to speak will make them feel better. Much like when you have something on your mind, it often feels better to tell someone right? Another example of this is someone who is in pain purposefully hurting someone else in order to distract them from the fact that they themselves are in pain, or the source of the problem. Either way, most of the time it is not done maliciously. It is done to hide weakness and vulnerability. The best thing you can do is tell them that you understand and you are willing to help and support them through their difficult time, however you are not an emotional punching bag and you need to be treated with some respect. Support, encouragement and love!
lovewillspread
January 25th, 2018 1:31am
People who are in pain sometimes want other people to feel how they are feeling, or they feel so much pain that it turns into anger and they don't know what to do with it.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 4:40pm
The reason people who are in pain wish inflict it on hers is all different depending on the situation and person. Some people do it subconsciously while others may not want to feel alone. There's a wise saying "Misery loves company." No one wants to feel they are the only person to experience our pain so if were unable find people similar people tend drag people to their level.
HaaListens
January 27th, 2018 8:39am
Misery can spread like wildfire. If they are unhappy then everyone around them shouldn’t be able to enjoy their happiness while they are suffering. Emotional and mental instabilities are common frustrations when dealing with problems. It’s good to talk to someone, the pressure will subside and they’ll feel much better.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 8:47am
Perhaps to attempt to release the pain that they're feeling. They may feel that pain upon others may help them cope with their own
WallflowersandRoses
February 3rd, 2018 1:35am
They feel that they are being personally wronged by the world and do not want to be the only ones. They long for others to feel their own pain.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 8:34am
Maybe they're jealous of others who are having a much better time than themselves. They want to feel like they're not suffering alone
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2018 1:32pm
The person may be feeling out of control and want other to feel how they do, they figure it's something that they can control.
LottieUk
February 24th, 2018 2:46pm
Sometimes when someone is going through a lot, that can make them feel upset and angry. This could lead them to lash out on others or sometimes themselves. If you know someone who seems easily irritable or tactless, it could just be their way of letting out their emotions.
WinterCallsHereo
February 28th, 2018 4:21am
Someone who is in pain may wish to inflict others with it as they want some sympathy, and they need to know the this person has felt a pain as great as them in order to feel comfort in their words.
Anonymous
February 28th, 2018 8:57am
Because they want others to feel the same way they do . They don't want to be on their own. They feel vulnerable on their own
Anonymous
March 9th, 2018 3:02am
Sometimes people don't know how to react to their own pain. So the easiest way around that is inflicting it on other people.
Engineeringhappiness
March 9th, 2018 9:02am
because they want others to feel it as well. instead do what makes you happy. it helps... love something