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Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?

206 Answers
Last Updated: 02/25/2021 at 8:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Social disorders counseling social psychology, substance use disorder counsel

Top Rated Answers
March 14th, 2018 2:58pm
I guess to just try and make others feel what they need to go through. Or make it so someone else is in pain with them so they aren't lonely.
March 18th, 2018 4:55pm
Because they feel the need to make others feel like them, they want others to know how they feel, so they aren’t so alone
March 28th, 2018 4:09am
They're acting out instead of focusing on fixing their problems.
April 25th, 2018 2:30pm
Some people sometimes feel as if no one around them understands them. Therefore, they spread their 'sadness' with those around them to make themselves feel slightly good.
April 28th, 2018 10:38pm
Maybe a way that he can desembocate or let out all the pain, but in a really bad way, it can be also a cry for help,
May 4th, 2018 8:29pm
This could be because they feel that it will ease their pain when in reality, it makes it worse. This is not a good method of releasing your pain/anger
May 9th, 2018 7:28am
This happens due to psychological impact. I have noticed, many people who have had their hearts break by a particular person, would often make it a point to break other people's hearts in the same manner, so that it gives them solace. In the novel, Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens, one of the main characters, was an eccentric old lady named Ms Havisham. Many years ago, her fiance had run away on the day of her wedding, and since then she had been so mentally damaged, that she adopted a girl and raised her to be cold hearted, and made the protagonist of the story, Pip, fall in love with this girl and get mentally damaged the same way as Ms Havisham was. I feel, the main reason behind all this is envy and jealousy, and triggers of the past. Pain can occur to a person, when her or she lacks something, and it is natural for them to feel bitter towards the people who have the very thing that they lack. Hence, they can't tolerate that, and they feel like causing the same kind of pain to them. The mentality here is, "I never had this. Why is he or she having this?"
May 9th, 2018 9:40pm
Maybe they feel like the whole world is already against them and that certain people don't deserve to be happier than they are. It is a bad mentality but it happens sometimes.
May 13th, 2018 9:21am
They may inflict it on others without realising and/or in desperation to show the person how they feel.
May 16th, 2018 1:51pm
Someone in pain may want to inflict it upon others because they may feel as if everyone around is happier than they are, and they feel insecure about feeling the way they do.
May 23rd, 2018 12:42am
I’d say it’s due to a lack of confidence in themselves. So they feel the need to put other people down to make themselves feel better
May 30th, 2018 12:10am
people cope in different ways, and most of the time it won't be in a nice way. personally, before i knew i had depression, i would lash out at people and instantly regret it. ill always regret it... maybe they do, too.
May 31st, 2018 11:35am
Because I care for him/her Because I am concerned about him/her And most importantly I love to think about him/her
June 9th, 2018 6:40pm
Sometimes, people who are in pain want others to feel what they feel. It's like they don't want to go through it alone.
June 15th, 2018 7:41am
I think a lot of people that are already in pain lash out because they feel this pain. It is a way to forget their own pain and hurt someone else.
June 20th, 2018 5:55am
It could be that they would like to feel like they're not alone in their suffering. So knowing that others experience it too may just make them feel better about themselves.
June 21st, 2018 12:12am
They have experienced pain enough to want others to experience what they have. They want others to feel the pain they felt through the experiences they have.
June 23rd, 2018 10:55pm
Some people have cruel intentions - that's unfortunately just how the world is. Some people get a kick out of seeing others in pain. Maybe this person just wants someone else to feel how they do because they feel they dont deserve it (which doesn't justify it).
June 27th, 2018 4:11pm
Perhaps that person wants others to know the pain he’s going through, to feel understood. That person may also feel wronged and seeks justice by hurting others
June 27th, 2018 11:26pm
This is like bully. Often times the bully is feeling pain and they don't have anyone to put it out on, so they see people who are easy to target, then they usually go for those people.
June 29th, 2018 10:20am
Someone in pain would want to inflict pain upon others because they want others to feel their pain and understand them.
June 30th, 2018 8:36am
Individuals who are in pain often times spread their pain. They want others to suffer the way they are suffering because sometimes in their mind if they have to suffer, others do too. It can make them angry or feel left out when they see happy individuals.
July 5th, 2018 12:56am
So that other people would get to feel the that they are going through so they feel less alone or like no one understands them
July 5th, 2018 3:19pm
When people are hurt they wanna take it out on others to make them feel better about themselves. Not all bullys are mean most of them are just scared
July 7th, 2018 6:33pm
Sometimes when people aren’t getting the support they need and can’t find ways to cope they usually put up a barrier that makes them seem very harsh that way instead of feeling pain they shut themselves out and put it on others so no one can hurt them.
July 11th, 2018 5:05pm
because they feel the need to drag others down with them. Don't let them do it, instead ask if they want to talk and just be their friend
July 14th, 2018 2:37pm
Because they don´t know how else to cope, I think. When you are in a lot of pain, some of the time you do end up inflicting it on others. That can be a reaction of feeling jealous that someone might have it better than you emotionally or just generally not knowing what to do with all of the pain that you feel.
July 14th, 2018 3:20pm
as an act of revenge...or...simply the same way an injured elephant flings itself around and hurts everyone else...the elephant is only trying to fling the pain away. Not understanding that flinging does ..nothing.
July 18th, 2018 2:18am
because they are full of pain and want others to feel how they feel
July 18th, 2018 6:22am
I honestly think as humans we don't wish to do this however sometime we have to be aware of the impact if our actions. Honesty is always best and listening to each other is the only way forward. I remember a girl friend asking me what a guy meant by his behaviour and he stopped calling. He stopped calling as he had lost interest! He just isn't into you. We gave to be honest and listen to each other.