Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?

159 Answers
Last Updated: 06/13/2019 at 8:57am
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Top Rated Answers
Shananigans1
December 6th, 2018 7:30am
inflicting pain on others, while your in pain, makes your feel good. because someone other than yourself is hurting. but at what cost? you just hurt someone you care for, for tempory relief of your own pain. instead of hurting that person you could have just asked them for help or support.
MelloLily
December 7th, 2018 12:24am
Sometimes the best way people feel they can help others understand their pain is if they feel pain too. A person in pain may feel that others do not experience pain as they do, therefore they will inflict pain to make sure people understand. Another reason some people may inflict pain is because since they're not happy, they don't feel others should be happy as well. Not always do people want to inflict pain, they just don't know how to express their own pain in a healthy and productive manner. Feeling pain is human and a part of growing.
ingeniousPeace79
January 3rd, 2019 10:16am
2 causes, but only one cause after you see the details. 1. lack of understanding about karma, that's a first. having a bad intention, to hurt others, you plant new bad seeds for the future. But the person doesn't know or cares about this, if the person "falls" deliberately into these thread of bad activity. 2. irresponsibility. Believing that others are the cause, or were the cause, for the pain that the Person feels right now. It's misleading, and quite hard to see this fact. Because mind mostly, because how mind works. Always creating confirmations about what you believe or want to believe. But, clearly, such person believes others are the cause, environment is the cause, person gives power to others this way (which seems as a short term good deal, gives more peace of mind, but long term is a disaster :D) Both points after all they are exactly the same. You are the cause for everything around You. Mind does it for your, time develops the seeds, environment grows them, but You plant everything.
GiedreSi
February 24th, 2019 10:51am
The answer you are looking for is already in the question. Sometimes (in fact, more often than not), people hurt others exactly because they are in pain themselves. If pain is all they know, pain is the only thing they can offer to others. By hurting others people may experience a perception of fairness ("if everybody around is hurting, then my own pain is somewhat fair"), or even relief ("if I hurt someone else, maybe they will hurt more than me, and that means that my pain may not be as bad in comparison"). These processes tend to happen subconsciously, meaning that people often do not intend any harm to others, and when asked why they did, they truly may not know the answer. This means that often people will hurt others without such intent per se, but rather in subconscious efforts to relieve their own pain.
nikanni
March 22nd, 2019 6:10pm
When people experience pain it can resemble a heavy load. If you carry too much, it is often easier to hand some of the load to others. People who do not experience empathy or cannot share their emotions to feel release sometimes drift off into inflicting pain on others. They feel that this is a possibility to share their feelings and force people into empathy as they are now feeling alike. This, however, is very harmful and it is important to stress that there are other ways. Experiencing empathy, talking to someone about the burden you have to carry, or just writing down your emotions for yourself are methods which could help to relieve you of your pain and share it in a non-harmful way.
WittyAmber13
April 7th, 2019 11:32am
It can be a way to cope for the one who is in pain. It may not justify for what they may have done, but from their perspective, they are hurting as well and they sometimes need to "let it out" or distract themselves from their life. While, in some cases, the whole "they're just talking about themselves when they call you names" is true, it can mean that when they are hurting they feel as though this is what they deserve yet they take it out on others, or maybe it's how they were/are being treated at home or by others. Like I said, this shouldn't justify for what they did, but it can help by understanding and starting to defuse the problem.
DragonView2
April 28th, 2019 2:52am
Some people feel that if they are in pain others should also be in pain so that they don't suffer alone. Also, a sense of "justice": "if I am not fine it is not fair that someone else is fine". Some may do it because it helps them feel relief. Some have a sense of revenge, and think that the causes or worse need of the pain deserve to suffer as well and they take the matter into their own hands. Anger can make this easier. But, in general, it is a lack of empathy towards the victim, and a sense that something will be gained or a loss will be prevented by doing that.
comfortingRabbit47
May 17th, 2019 1:45pm
Because that is the only thing that someone has to give: pain. There is no more room for other feelings such as happiness and etc. Maybe he or she inflicts the pain upon others so that the pain is shared and they feel validated for doing it. There are other quotes which encourage them to inflict pain upon others. Quotes such as "what comes around goes around" or "all things should be fair and equal". These quotations may be the driving force for people to do what they do. However, there is hope. There is no need to inflict the same pain to others if only they can defuse the pain just by talking to others (that's why it is important to learn and master a language in order to express yourself clearly). By talking, pain can be defused and he or she can have space for other positive feelings again.
mapper49
June 13th, 2019 8:57am
We can't predict the intentions of others. Sometimes, we do things we can't account for. We're swept up in the pain and the easiest form of relief is when others experience it, too. No one's perfect. Remember, be kind. Be understanding in that this person may be experiencing some issues that have caused them to project this hurt onto others. At this state, the best rule of thumb is to give them space. Remind them you're here and when they're ready, you could talk about these issues together. I find distance can be a good thing when you're in a situation such a this, and the best initiative is to be supportive, but not engage until they're ready to discuss it without the intention of hurting.