Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?

164 Answers
Last Updated: 10/03/2019 at 4:08am
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With extensive training and experience in evidence based treatments, I use behavioral and cognitive techniques and a warm nonjudgmental approach to help people find joy.

Top Rated Answers
December 6th, 2018 7:30am
inflicting pain on others, while your in pain, makes your feel good. because someone other than yourself is hurting. but at what cost? you just hurt someone you care for, for tempory relief of your own pain. instead of hurting that person you could have just asked them for help or support.
December 7th, 2018 12:24am
Sometimes the best way people feel they can help others understand their pain is if they feel pain too. A person in pain may feel that others do not experience pain as they do, therefore they will inflict pain to make sure people understand. Another reason some people may inflict pain is because since they're not happy, they don't feel others should be happy as well. Not always do people want to inflict pain, they just don't know how to express their own pain in a healthy and productive manner. Feeling pain is human and a part of growing.
January 3rd, 2019 10:16am
2 causes, but only one cause after you see the details. 1. lack of understanding about karma, that's a first. having a bad intention, to hurt others, you plant new bad seeds for the future. But the person doesn't know or cares about this, if the person "falls" deliberately into these thread of bad activity. 2. irresponsibility. Believing that others are the cause, or were the cause, for the pain that the Person feels right now. It's misleading, and quite hard to see this fact. Because mind mostly, because how mind works. Always creating confirmations about what you believe or want to believe. But, clearly, such person believes others are the cause, environment is the cause, person gives power to others this way (which seems as a short term good deal, gives more peace of mind, but long term is a disaster :D) Both points after all they are exactly the same. You are the cause for everything around You. Mind does it for your, time develops the seeds, environment grows them, but You plant everything.
February 24th, 2019 10:51am
The answer you are looking for is already in the question. Sometimes (in fact, more often than not), people hurt others exactly because they are in pain themselves. If pain is all they know, pain is the only thing they can offer to others. By hurting others people may experience a perception of fairness ("if everybody around is hurting, then my own pain is somewhat fair"), or even relief ("if I hurt someone else, maybe they will hurt more than me, and that means that my pain may not be as bad in comparison"). These processes tend to happen subconsciously, meaning that people often do not intend any harm to others, and when asked why they did, they truly may not know the answer. This means that often people will hurt others without such intent per se, but rather in subconscious efforts to relieve their own pain.
March 22nd, 2019 6:10pm
When people experience pain it can resemble a heavy load. If you carry too much, it is often easier to hand some of the load to others. People who do not experience empathy or cannot share their emotions to feel release sometimes drift off into inflicting pain on others. They feel that this is a possibility to share their feelings and force people into empathy as they are now feeling alike. This, however, is very harmful and it is important to stress that there are other ways. Experiencing empathy, talking to someone about the burden you have to carry, or just writing down your emotions for yourself are methods which could help to relieve you of your pain and share it in a non-harmful way.
April 7th, 2019 11:32am
It can be a way to cope for the one who is in pain. It may not justify for what they may have done, but from their perspective, they are hurting as well and they sometimes need to "let it out" or distract themselves from their life. While, in some cases, the whole "they're just talking about themselves when they call you names" is true, it can mean that when they are hurting they feel as though this is what they deserve yet they take it out on others, or maybe it's how they were/are being treated at home or by others. Like I said, this shouldn't justify for what they did, but it can help by understanding and starting to defuse the problem.
April 28th, 2019 2:52am
Some people feel that if they are in pain others should also be in pain so that they don't suffer alone. Also, a sense of "justice": "if I am not fine it is not fair that someone else is fine". Some may do it because it helps them feel relief. Some have a sense of revenge, and think that the causes or worse need of the pain deserve to suffer as well and they take the matter into their own hands. Anger can make this easier. But, in general, it is a lack of empathy towards the victim, and a sense that something will be gained or a loss will be prevented by doing that.
May 17th, 2019 1:45pm
Because that is the only thing that someone has to give: pain. There is no more room for other feelings such as happiness and etc. Maybe he or she inflicts the pain upon others so that the pain is shared and they feel validated for doing it. There are other quotes which encourage them to inflict pain upon others. Quotes such as "what comes around goes around" or "all things should be fair and equal". These quotations may be the driving force for people to do what they do. However, there is hope. There is no need to inflict the same pain to others if only they can defuse the pain just by talking to others (that's why it is important to learn and master a language in order to express yourself clearly). By talking, pain can be defused and he or she can have space for other positive feelings again.
June 13th, 2019 8:57am
We can't predict the intentions of others. Sometimes, we do things we can't account for. We're swept up in the pain and the easiest form of relief is when others experience it, too. No one's perfect. Remember, be kind. Be understanding in that this person may be experiencing some issues that have caused them to project this hurt onto others. At this state, the best rule of thumb is to give them space. Remind them you're here and when they're ready, you could talk about these issues together. I find distance can be a good thing when you're in a situation such a this, and the best initiative is to be supportive, but not engage until they're ready to discuss it without the intention of hurting.
July 6th, 2019 2:19pm
Because that's their escape route. To feel good that they're not alone who felt pain. To get the revenge they never had. To escape from the reality of being alone in the pain. It's hard for them to see someone happy or content. It burns them from inside and they believe they deserve to do this. At end for them it is their sad history or present that drives them to hatred and evil.. And they can justify it. It's hard for them but they will be always saying that they're doing the right thing. To be able to escape from their own demons
July 24th, 2019 10:11pm
A person in pain may want to spread his pain to others in order to feel less alone. Knowing that he/she has successfully hurt others may give the person a sense of satisfaction that he is not alone in feeling pain and hurt. People often exude and spread the emotions in which they feel, maybe subconsciously -but nonetheless they do. Maybe spreading pain is the only way they feel they can get this gratification. But I like to believe that the correct way would be to learn how to channel this pain into something else other than bringing others down as well.
August 24th, 2019 11:47pm
This is a really, really, really good question.. You would think that someone who is in pain would only wish to empathize with others who are also in pain, and certainly not be the cause of it for anyone else. But the truth is, some people use it as a way of coping with their own pain. They take their anger and pain out on innocent people, because they feel like it gives them power and control over pain, in general. However, it’s still not justifiable to hurt someone else just because you’re hurting. You need to deal with it in a different way. And if you’re the victim, you need to immediately get help.
September 1st, 2019 1:57pm
It might stem from the belief that the person the aggression is aimed at somehow hurt them or is responsible for their suffering. It's a reaction to a factual or perceived pain that was inflicted on the body or the spirit. People who are in pain and who are aggressive in return might not be mature and present enough to see themselves as aggressors and take responsibility for their actions. This requires self-reflection, and people who are in pain are occupied with their own pain to notice the pain they inflict on others around them, or to understand its gravity.
October 3rd, 2019 4:08am
Perhaps they feel that pain is justified and there's a certain logic behind this pain, or perhaps they see this as a twisted way to show affection and maybe they enjoy it themselves. However there is a difference between purely enjoying pain under certain circumstances and having a twisted view of the world. Often those that likes to inflict pain has experienced trauma in their life, very possibly during their most important stages of development in their childhood, that causes an unhealthy perception of the world that barrs them from having a balanced moral and cognition, they would need to be counselled by professionals if that is the case.