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How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?

277 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD

Psychologist

I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
LC1225
December 29th, 2021 9:54am
Put simply, you must be willing to activate your courage. The mere fact that you are able to express this desire and share that it is something you are fearful, actually goes to show the true strength and bravery that you possess. With that, you are halfway there. Be proud for that reason. Now, in moving forward, start small and work your way towards opening up to more and more people. Start with someone you trust. It's cliche but it is really important. From there try with someone else and keep trying. It is a lifelong experiment, so do not be discouraged if results are not yielded quickly. Be patient but stick with it. It is a scary thing for sure, but you can do it! I promise that one day you will open up to the right person and it will all feel so much more approachable to continue opening up to them and even others. It is something that I know really changed me, and in a wonderful way. I am still working on it, but I celebrate the progress that I have made. Thank you for allowing me to reflect on my own journey through this question. You have helped me heal! Best of luck with your own! -LC
Robynni
December 29th, 2021 5:14pm
I would imagine your fear on opening up may be like my own, perhaps that you opened up to someone in the past and got hurt or simply haven't opened up to a specific person before, making it rather nerve racking for you. I have some things I tell myself to think and do when trying to open up, let me share these with you: Firstly, remembering you do not need to tell someone *everything* right off the bat. Perhaps there is one specific detail you wish to talk about, and you could start there. Maybe the person hearing this will share their thoughts on it, hopefully in a good way of course, and be there to support you with it. Also, try to recognise that this person cares for you. Remember that your friends and family love you, and in most cases they just want to support you in being happy and healthy, you probably have no need to be scared of talking with your loved ones, so this could be something to remind yourself of. Finally, ask them first. Instead of throwing information and draining both yourself and the recipient of your story, ask ahead of time if they would be up for this. Then you could organise a time and place to talk, a safe atmosphere, and you can both prepare yourself in advance OR cancel if it becomes too overwhelming. Remember, there is no need to force it, if you are not ready to talk then that's completely okay.
gloriousNarwhal6399
February 11th, 2022 6:18pm
It is scary to be vulnerable with others, especially if you don't know how they will respond. When wanting to open up to others it can be helpful to gauge how much you share based on how safe you feel around the other person. When identifying how safe someone is it can be helpful to consider how much you trust the other person, do they respect your boundaries, do they tend to respond in helpful ways, and are they able to be empathetic to your feelings. If you are scared maybe think about what is causing you to feel this way. Is it because it comes from a place of fearing trying something new or is it coming from fear of not knowing if you can trust the other person with what you would like to share? If it is the later of the two reasons only share as much or as little as you feel comfortable.
avacadopink
February 12th, 2022 7:45am
It's typically best to start small, with someone you can trust and a modest issue you wish to share, and work your way up from there. I understand that it can be frightening; nevertheless, by starting slowly, you may find that your fear and level of fear decreases. I hope you discover a method that works for you; this is how I learned to communicate with others. Start with online talking to people (like on this site) and talking to friends and family! As you get more comfortable, you can slowly begin talking to more and more people. hope this helps
Anonymous
April 24th, 2022 12:31pm
You can start with small steps without forcing yourself. From the smallest details to the smallest details. It can be easier and more fun if you listen to the other person. The best part of conversations is that both parties understand each other. As you talk, your fears will lessen and you will begin to feel safe sharing things with each other. Talk about anything without forcing yourself. Don't expect what you don't want from the other party and back off when you feel uncomfortable. Try to express yourself in the simplest way and do not be afraid. Everything will get easier with time.
naturalhelper6843
May 13th, 2022 12:59pm
This can be dealt with the same way you would deal with any other phobia. You work up to it. You have to slowly push yourself to do it. more often than not you will find that you have scared yourself over something small, something that you have no reason to fear. push yourself to do it one time, just ones. There is no harm in just one time right? If you do it just one time you may find that you are able to do it, that you have nothing to fear. when you realize this you can really push yourself, make yourself do it more and more often.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2022 3:18pm
Opening up to people can be crazy hard sometimes. The trust level for this depends on how much you care about the person. There are so many factors to this, as well as if they can keep secrets, it's okay to be scared. Just remember that some people feel comfortable sharing and others don't. You don't have to open up to anyone if you don't want to. There is a certain amount of trust people have, and others breaking your trust can also be in consideration. Trusting people can be tough, we all feel that way sometimes. Take care and good luck.