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How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?

248 Answers
Last Updated: 03/24/2021 at 3:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
LunaRose
March 3rd, 2017 12:01pm
Before you open up to anybody, please make sure that it is someone you trust! You could ask the person to respect your confidentiality before you confide in them and explain that you were nervous about opening up! Remember that we are all human and everybody has something or other on their mind, whether they show it or not. x
ImyourFriend18
March 22nd, 2017 12:48am
Don't force yourself to open up to people who aren't close to you. If someone is very close to you, it shouldn't be that hard to open up. Definitely don't force yourself, it won't do any good. Try to tell only the most important things, easily, don't go into details.
NansBread
March 24th, 2017 10:56pm
Practicing in small increments with activities you enjoy. Keeping casual conversations with others and being mindful of times in conversations where you can take a small step. Starting with sharing information that isn't very sensitive or serious is also an easy way to start the process of opening up !
Anonymous
March 25th, 2017 6:30pm
The first step to opening up is trust. Find someone you trust, and start by telling them small things. As you grow more comfortable, you can progress to telling them bigger and more important things. Remember not to rush, or push yourself beyond what you are comfortable with, just go at your own pace.
junesprout
March 31st, 2017 9:41pm
Remind yourself that in opening up to someone, you'll build trust, as well as a strong bond with another human. Opening up is scary, but it allows us to make a deeper connection with our friends and family.
SpeakFriendAndOpen
April 9th, 2017 11:27am
Some people have a tough time opening up. But generally when it's the right person opening up shouldn't be a problem. It may take time but the general message is take small steps, reveal little things about you at first, unimportant things that no one knows.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2017 5:24pm
Open up to people even if it scares you by taking your time. Do it step by step. No one said you have to do it all at once if you aren't comfortable. It's okay to be scared. Just relax and take your time, it's not going anywhere.
Proactiveandre
April 20th, 2017 7:32am
I suggest taking small steps to achieve your goal. For example. It would be difficult to say "I'm going to open up to people" and then just do it. If its something that you have trouble with it, smaller goals can help you get practice and work your way up. Set many small goals, that eventually lead to you being more open to people. For example: smile at a stranger. Make small talk with someone at the store Give someone your number Share a funny story from your childhood with an acquaintance And continue to build from there Good luck :) -Andre
friendlylion
April 26th, 2017 6:27am
I think the key to opening up to people is to do it a little bit at a time. If you're not used to sharing feelings with others, it can be difficult! Try starting with family members or close friends, anyone that you're comfortable with. Share things that are easy for you to talk about with them, and work up to sharing the harder stuff. Knowing that the person you're talking to cares about you and really wants what's best for you also can help reassure you when you're uncertain about disclosing feelings to someone.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2017 8:40am
Think of what's the worst that could happen? Now think of the best case. Either way, you are going to feel much better than you are feeling right now. Fear can be used as an inspiration too, it can be the last little push that you need.
crispNight40
May 12th, 2017 4:44am
Opening up to people, even people you trust, is always a leap of faith, to some extent. Be cautious in choosing confidants, but don't be so cautious that you never open up to anyone at all. Also realize that friendship is a two way street, and if you unload everything you've kept inside all at once, you can scare people off, or even simply inconvenience them enough that they feel like you aren't worth their time and effort. If you want to open up to someone, be that person for them. Be accepting of others, and the ones who are worth your time will invite the same from you.
grintaehyung
May 14th, 2017 7:38am
Trust yourself. Know that you are not doing anything bad. Trust people who you think can't betray you.
Brae1331
May 28th, 2017 9:38pm
Opening up is always a risk. To truly open up, we have to make ourselves vulnerable and that is no easy task. Opening up means facing the possibility of rejection, judgment, or feelings of shame. Here is the thing though, when you open up, you are also potentially gain acceptance, compassion, gratitude, confidence, support and love. Start by seeking out one person to open up to. Maybe it's a parent. Maybe it's a friend. Think about who you hang out with and why. Do you trust this person? Start small. Give them one tiny piece of you. "Hey, so, sometimes I get really nervous around people." You will be surprised by how easily you can build connections. Most people have or are experiencing what you're going through. It's scary and rightfully so, but the positives outweigh the negatives.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2017 1:59pm
Don't pressure yourself to open up to people whom you are not comfortable talking to. Take your time and identify someone who you trust and is likely to support you. Once you've told one person, it should be easier to tell others
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 9:33am
Learn who they are as a person, befriend them, and gradually open up to them, little by little. Telling each other likes and dislikes, what movies you prefer, your favorite color, food, what clothes you like to wear. Small talks can be a start to opening up to someone.
BlueberryFriend
July 2nd, 2017 4:28pm
It can definitely be hard opening up to people, even if you know them well. What's important is that you take small, manageable steps. Don't try to suddenly force yourself to tell someone your whole life story and all your secrets. Start by telling them trivial facts about yourself, like how you sprained your ankle when you were 8 because you were chasing a bunny. Then gradually tell them more personal details, but don't push yourself.
ElephantTiger1
July 7th, 2017 6:45am
It is hard to open up to someone about how you are feeling, personally I found it really hard but also really rewarding, when you find the courage to speak and then find out that people are willing to help you, that is one of the most magical experiences you can have. We are here for you on 7Cups, you are always supported through this and you are never alone. Be brave.
Alyeska81
July 14th, 2017 7:59am
Just remember that though opening up makes you feel vulnerable and exposed in front of the other person, it's going to help you reduce that burden you are carrying. Just the act of putting your worries out there will help you see the issues with more clarity. And trust me, that alone will help you so much in trying to figure a way out of your problem
AiLaikHeda
July 14th, 2017 8:03pm
Start with the smallest thing. It dosnt have to be a big secret that you've hidden for years. Something so small can go a long way. That could be telling someone your goals and dreams. Basic conversation. Better yet, have them open up to you first, by you asking a personal question, and if they give you an answer, one you believe to be honest and genuine. Then give it a shot and answer honestly back.
Maxwallride
July 22nd, 2017 11:48pm
Sometimes I repeat my favorite quote as a mantra. "Most of the time, being brave means doing it scared." It's very true. You you still open up to people even when you are scared. Fear does not have to stop you. Also, the more you do it, the more you'll get used to it. And if you're afraid of what people are going to say, you can always prepare some come backs for rude comments you can find on the internet with a quick google search.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2017 5:43pm
To take it slow. Opening up to people is hard and ideally, there needs to be trust within the relationship for someone to open up. Opening up to people doesn't mean you have to spill your entire guts out of them instantly. Taking a bit of time and slowly telling them personal things is completely alright.
MissMeghan
July 25th, 2017 7:11pm
Opening up to people can be difficult, especially if you have a anxiety disorder, or maybe aren't happy with yourself truly, what I have learned is that you do have to try, as scary as it may be, find a hobby, or common interest you like, and join a club, or activity for that interest, be very polite, go up and try to talk to as many people as possible, even just a simple "hello, my name is ______", if you start to feel shy that's OK, just get their phone number, and text them a bit later, maybe ask to go see a movie, or go roller skating :p, pretty soon you'll find yourself opening up to that person :)
Anonymous
August 10th, 2017 10:37am
Avoiding showing oneself to others does not take the fear away, it makes it worse. Slowly and carefully opening up to trusted people makes it less scary to do.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 2:00am
Try to find a common topic to discuss or ask a lot of questions about themselves. Inquiring about someone vocation is a great icebreaker.
radiantElementary81
August 23rd, 2017 1:46pm
People are not going to judge you. And even if they do, it's their problem not yours. Don't let negative thoughts come in your mind that everyone is thinking about how bad you are. What you think in your mind is not same to what Others are thinking. Other people have 1000s of thoughts in their mind and millions of things going in their lives. You are just one part of that 1000 thoughs. So just chat with people and don't over think about it.
TheLoreWriter
September 1st, 2017 3:37am
Start small. You can share simple things that you feel are not too major. Opening up can be a very scary thing to do, but like most things, if you start out small, it might not be easy, but it will at least feel doable. If you're lucky, you'll find somebody who makes you want to share everything and wants you to share it all with them.
Nyx36
October 11th, 2017 3:52pm
Remember that most people only have good intentions; the more you open up, the better equipped they are to be your friend. They will understand you better and know how to treat you well.
brightFish45
October 14th, 2017 3:27am
You need to pick people you love and trust to open up to. Even thou you are scared you need to remember they have your best interest at heart. Tell the person you are talking to that you are scared and nervous, I am sure they will open their arms and their hearts and will help you thru what ever you are going thru . Just remember it starts with you. Trust is stronger than fear
NancySV1
November 9th, 2017 3:06pm
opening up to people can be scary, especially when you have been hurt in the past. Sometimes you have to just put yourself out there, you may be pleasantly surprised at what you get in return.
SteveR92
November 23rd, 2017 8:24pm
Take it 1 step at a time, always remember once you have gotten it off your chest you will feel a lot better.