How can I stop being a control freak?
Last Updated: 07/25/2016 at 8:40am
Graham Barrone, Adip ICHP, MCBT
If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.
Top Rated Answers
I think this completely depends on what you believe to be a control freak. Are you controlling every aspect of your life? If so, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Are you controlling everyone around you as well? If so, that may be an issue for the other person involved. How about taking the time to sit down with them and ask what they would like for you to do? You can always try stepping back from the situation or giving yourself daily goals. Maybe a goal could be something along the lines of letting someone else make the decision about whatever the issue is. :) there is always something you can do. Don't give up!
Feeling a need to take control may be rooted in anxiety. Do you know what you might be anxious about? Addressing underlying anxieties, or even just noticing and understanding them, can help a lot in beginning to change you behaviors.
Relax! As Mandy Hale says 'you don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe trust, let go and see what happens' Just be flowsome (my special word meaning go with the flow and be awesome) try to forget all the reasons who it wont work and believe in the one reason it will! :)
I think the best way to deal with this is to understand why you feel the need to be controlling in the first place. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) might help with this. If you feel that it isn't impacting your life heavily, try delegating more tasks to those around you that you think could be reliable, keep reminding yourself that you are helping no one, especially yourself in trying to handle everything on your own.
I think it's important to realize where you come from in this question: do you think you are too controlling, or do people tell you that you are too controlling? If i were you, I'd start to journal about specific instances that you encounter in your daily life, then consider things like "How could I have handled that better?" or "Did I influence the situation positively?" I personally think it's good to logically think through out problems. Hope that helped! :3
It is important to learn to accept yourself and others, be ok to settle with "good enough." Sometimes it's hard not to want to be in charge of situations and make everything "perfect," but as soon as you master going easier on things, you will be happier.
You need to focus on what you are actually able to control. Other peoples feelings/minds/opinions, is not one of them. Your own of the latter, as well as many other things are in your control. If you focus on these, like your own actions and feelings, your own life, and your environment within reason, you will feel greater control over your surroundings, and you won't adversely affect those around you.
While it sounds easier said than done, try not to stress too much about the little things: try to sort all the issues you notice into "big deals", as in, will affect something important in a big way, and "little things", things that would be nice to fix, but aren't necessary to get the job done. It helps minimize stress slightly, at least for me.
One of the best ways to stop being a control freak is to figure out why you are one. Do you need to control things because you don't trust others to get the job done? Do things being out of your power leave you with anxiety or panic? Once you know the cause (or at least part of it) you can work on figuring out specific, targeted ways to help you become more comfortable with letting loose. You might want to talk about it with friends, family members, or a therapist, teacher, doctor, or clergy member you trust.
If you want MY opinion, I would say do or don't. If you like the way you are, stay that way! You don't have to change your own personality for other people. If you want to stop, try getting used to the world! Not everything is perfect, but just try letting others take in for you, while you relax.
Understand that the only thing you can control are your thoughts, your actions, your feelings, and yourself. Practice letting things go. Since you've recognized it's a problem for you, talk about it and continue to be aware of when you're trying to control a situation.
Trying to figure out why you want or need control is important, in my opinion. Then you can work through the underlying issue and may not crave control anymore.
Work on letting other people take control of what you're doing. Let's say it's a school project, have someone else work on the project and let them take a bit of control
You have to realize that people have their own opinion about certain things. It may not always be the same as yours, but then again, you are not always right!
Try to figure out the difference between things you can change, and things that you just need to wait and go with the flow. Consider potential outcomes and try to prepare for those, rather than to try to force situations to go your way all the time. It gets a lot easier to let go with practice, so start small.
Calm down. Breathe in, out, in, out, and again. Meditate. Do some yoga. Watch a movie. Relax for a moment. Now, listen to others. Realize that everything isn't perfect.
take baby steps let stuff go don't just boss or instruct take opinions and slowly ease out so its easier for you and others
Try understanding other people's views, perspectives and needs. They might not agree with yours but there can be compromises. I used to be a real control freak. I didn't ever mean to be I just always worried and the more something worried me the more I'd get controlling. Then I realized I was pushing people away. I decided to talk with them. I asked about their needs and wants and compromised with mine. It has helped a lot and has made my life way more relaxed
I've learned to let go through looking past small situations (i.e. messes, mess-ups, etc), and trying to focus on the bigger picture. For example, would a small mistake be what someone includes in a biographic film about me? Probably not! They'd focus on my major accomplishments!
You'll probaly grow out of it. I did but if you need help contact crisischat.org for more help. Then see about it from there
Usually one who likes to control, are those that don't trust others and they are afraid of getting hurt or disappointed in some fashion..... , therefore; when they think they have control of things they feel it will protect them from others hurting them.
Don't let them take control of you or get the best of u.stand up to the firmly and always stand strong with your head held high.
You can learn to stop being a control freak by letting others make discussions for themselves. And then by doing so you will have the privilege to seeing a person grow & blossom in life by letting them do so.
By realizing that you cant control everyone and everything in your life. You have to come to the conclusion that you cant make someone into who you want them to be. There are certain things in your life you must let go of. Letting go of control does not mean you dont love or value someone or something it means that you pick and choose your battles.
Ask yourself why you're a controlfreak. Maybe note what are the advantages and disadvantages to being a control freak in certain areas and be sure you know where it hurts you and where it helps. Adjust this skill/part of you accordingly and chose an are where you would like to let go a little bit more. Think about what could happen and what could be better when you did not control this part as tightly and just try to let it be..
You should ask yourself why you try to control things in such a way, and what you expect to gain because of that. Could it be that the issues you try to control, are just a symptom of a deeper underlying issue that you feel unable to control? In other words, is this a compensating mechanism, to help you feel in control in those areas that you may not be able to control? Often we chase feelings rather than reality, and feeling in control of small things may compensate for not feeling in control of other more important things. Reflecting on one's own behaviour may help resolve the deeper underlying issue.
Try being in a situation where you cannot control things at all, and try to experience what it's like to be okay with it.
This is a mantra that has been inspired by a prayer I read somewhere: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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