How can I stop being a pushover?
Last Updated: 12/06/2021 at 9:35pm
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Find ways and tips on how to build your self confidence and recognize your self worth so that you can trust and believe in yourself.
First of all start out small it can be hard but try to say "no" but if you don't want to do something or if you don't agree with someone try to say "no" or "I think (what you think)" . Than thing will get better and than later it should come naturally and you can be more assertive.
Being a pushover doesn't mean you're weak and it's not a bad thing sometimes you have to appreciate yourself and stop being that person that always being pushed around. Sometimes being a pushover can actually damage your health and life but it's up to you to make that decision to not be that person
By recognizing your self worth! You need to respect yourself and acknowledge that you are worth so much more than other people may give you credit for. Once you can stand tall and strong, others will see this confidence and follow suit!
It is not easy to just stop being a pushover and some people never stop but they do learn how to be less of a pushover. One thing is to gain self confidence and self esteem. Many times both play a role in this situation. A person may not have the self confidence to say stop or no because they are afraid of coming off as mean. But, the person needs to think of themselves and take care of themselves first before saying yes to others. It is a difficult thing to do. I still sometimes have trouble saying no because I often feel that others need my help more than I need it. But you need to set boundaries, that is the first step. If you need to do something for yourself, and someone else is asking for help, take care of yourself first and let the person know you need to do that.
Self awareness can go a long way. Emotional connection, self compassion too. Seeking to understand and being genuinely interested, can spark the same in others. Being helpful and fulfilling the needs of others appropriately and in a profecient manner can also contribute towards stopping the perception of you being a pushover. Most of the time you are trying to get your own needs met and may have been negatively criticized and labled as being a pushover. However this may not be in truth who you are at all. Awareness and understanding of this, or at the very least being able to acknowledge this may help towards and lift your self esteem to being able to make good on the points I mentioned in the beginning of this post, Thank you very much for reading. I hope my answer has helped, it takes a while to think of answering questions like these and in summarisation.
Some people find it is hard to stop being what you'd call "a pushover" because they feel like they have to be a people pleaser. Some people find themselves feeling guilty if they stand up for themselves. Have you tried talking to family or friends about this? Maybe they can offer you advice on how you can learn to stand up for yourself in a polite way. Setting boundaries is a good way to feel like you can be there for people without being "a pushover". Setting boundaries can also help with self esteem and mental health. If you need help learning to set boundaries you can ask advice from a friend who's been through similar experiences of browse 7cups for more information
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