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How can I stop being afraid of feeling happy again? Why can't I just let go of the sadness?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 05/04/2021 at 8:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Italy
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Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor

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I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
FromDrewWithLove
February 27th, 2018 7:01pm
When you've been stuck in sadness for a long time, or for what feels like a long time, it becomes familiar. Whether we like it or not, it becomes familiar. Familiar is comforting to some degree; even if it isn't positive, and we want it to stop, it can be comforting because it's what you're used to. Happiness can feel foreign, and can put you on edge because it's unfamiliar, and you may be preparing yourself to crash again. As for lessening the fear of feeling happy, that takes time. It doesn't happen instantly; it may take time to adjust to the idea. Talking things out with others and trying to figure out these emotions might help.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2015 4:07pm
you feel rejected and scared that what if...is the question ? whether this will happen again in your life ...that is why you are scared to move on in your life and if you feel its good to keep sadness with you as you feel secure but when you are happy if you feel it is just temporarily ...well i have this feeling too..so you ain't alone...
ImaginaryLight
November 9th, 2015 1:45pm
This is a whole process. You can't let go of the hapiness like it was a switch that you can turn on or off. You have to get through each stage. When you start feeling like you completed each one of these stages, it's because you are ready to feel happy again.
Bestiwilldo4u
November 3rd, 2015 7:42pm
Happiness and sadness are part of our life... we can't get ride off them but what we can do is fight cherish and fight with them vice versa...
DreamOnKS
January 25th, 2015 2:27pm
You just have to let go of the sad thoughts by thinking the consequences that they have on you. Bad thoughts have bad results on us both physically and psychologiacally.When we see how bad the bad thoughts have affect us and decide that we are not worth to be treated this way by our own selves, then we can let go of them and try at least to be happy
strangeangels
August 25th, 2020 6:07am
Often times people with depression feel safer being depressed because they're afraid of the pain of becoming happy and losing that happiness. Change is scary, even if it's for the better. Give yourself allowances to feel happy a little at a time and eventually you will adjust to a less fearful mindset. List 3 things every day that made you happy even if it was extremely simple. Realize that good things can happen to you without the threat of them being taken away and your happiness compromised. For extensive behavioral changes I would recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in behavioral therapy. Good luck!
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2018 7:06am
The fear of happiness is usually a symptom of an overarching issue with trauma. People who are afraid of being happy are simply afraid of being sad all over again, as the process of grief seems to "start all over" when they begin to let their guard down.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2018 1:47am
You may not be able to let go of sadness even if you want to be more happy because there is still problems you haven't completely resolved that is holding you back.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2016 1:35pm
Take one day at a time. Baby steps matter. Keep small goals for yourself and dont be afaid of anything
LunaDesireeFuller
November 2nd, 2015 12:33am
Sometimes it's good to feel sad, it allows you to come to terms with how you're feeling, it also allows you to realise what is making you feel like this. You need to know it upsets you before you can fix it! I recommend watching Inside Out- it explains a lot haha!
PoliteOcean
August 31st, 2015 4:31am
If you feel that you are in a situation or having feelings of sadness that are interfering with your everyday life or in a way to where you are unable to truly be happy, perhaps seeking assistance through counseling or therapy could help. If you are underage, try speaking with a parent or a trusted adult to help you.
blissfulSky35
July 13th, 2015 3:47pm
Surround yourself with positive people and let go of the negativity. Focus on improving your life. Study, find a job you are happy in.
T1taniumx
June 5th, 2015 3:14pm
Sometimes sadness is hard to let go of because we become attached to it. If we don't feel sadness, what will we feel if we can't feel happy? Most of the time the only thing we can really do is find things we might enjoy, even if you don't feel good doing them, eventually we can only hope you will get yourself out by continuing to do things that you think you might enjoy.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 9:24pm
It might take time to feel happy again. But you are the one most responsible for your happiness. Find something you enjoy doing!
MarvelousMadam
May 14th, 2015 5:35am
Sometimes we feel like we need permission or a "good reason" to feel happy. But our emotions don't have to reflect our circumstances. You're ALWAYS allowed to be happy, even if the world seems to disagree.
LilyElizabeth
April 13th, 2015 5:40pm
It is hard to let go of sadness if you focus on it. Try to forget that you are sad by distracting yourself. I find that being with friends or family helps me distract myself from being sad and before I know it I feel happy again.
TheAnonymousHelp
January 24th, 2015 4:11am
its always very important to work through your emotions and talk about them you can't just expect things to get better right away think in smaller steps
tealSunrise42
May 4th, 2021 8:11pm
Assigning a positive or negative value to emotions can be damaging. Emotions are not intrinsically bad or good. To feel sad is okay. To feel happy is okay. Putting a lot of effort into avoiding 'negative' emotions usually makes them worse, and increases the fear. When you're afraid of feeling happy, you're probably not afraid of feeling happy, you're probably afraid of being sad again. Allow yourself to feel, sit with that fear. Work through the reasons you feel that way. You don't have to solve them, just identify them. And then give yourself a break. You don't have to solve the problem of feeling sad, you can just feel sad.