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How can I stop letting my depression make me feel like a burden to others?

147 Answers
Last Updated: 12/06/2020 at 8:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
October 19th, 2017 9:18pm
Do you in the first place accept and love yourself with depression and all? That's the key. Also, notice the wording "letting my depression make me feel". Are you giving the depression the power to dictate how you should feel? Or are you blaming the depression for feeling like a burden? Own it. If you can convince yourself you're a burden, you also can convince yourself you are worthy to be loved. And you are very much worthy. Practice this thinking everyday and soon you might find out the depression has left you. Oh no! Really? Yes. And if you miss it, it's time to ask the question: what purpose has depression been fulfilling in your life? Maybe there are better ways to get there?
December 4th, 2017 10:33pm
Realize that depression is just an illness its not your choice. And your loved ones are happy to help you out. You are only a burden when you can do something but you dont want to Or you refuse to. And you are also a burden when others are not okay with helping you. But people who love you will always be there for you and help you out because they simply want you to feel better.
February 9th, 2018 9:10am
Please remember you are not a burden, sometimes when you have depression you can feel that way because you may rely on them a bit more than usual. It is okay to need more help from people when you are not feeling too well
February 16th, 2018 1:00pm
if you want to stop depression becoming a burden to you as well as to others maybe think about going to a professional, lots of people are helped by talking to someone!
April 15th, 2018 3:56am
You may want to talk to someone about your feelings on what makes you believe your a burden. What you feel and betray yourself is not how others see you. Stand in a mirror and say to yourself I’m smart and I’m strong but most of all if you feel like a burden to them maybe they feel like there a burden to. Depression is like being in an abyss where you feel there no way out, you feel alone and no matter what you try you can’t seem to find a way out. There many forms of depression you may feel that talking about it is a waste of time and nobody knows what your going through or how alone you feel. Your not a burden to no one,
July 6th, 2018 1:30am
Know that your existence is a burden to no one. Your feelings are completely valid. You have a right to speak up and find the help you need.
March 31st, 2019 6:35pm
Dealing with depression is not easy. You go through all these emotions and you don't even know why. But don't let depression to ruin your relationships with others. You might feel like you are a burdening others by sharing about your problems and feelings or you might think that the other person with understand but sometimes all you need is to take that first step and share your story with others. You matter and your feelings matter. You have every right to be heard. Reaching out for help actually shows that you are brave and courageous. Until you don't express, the other person won't understand why you are acting a certain way.
July 24th, 2019 4:48pm
Your depression is not a inconvenience. It is not only you alone who can get through it. When I was going through a rough patch of time, I felt the same as you are feeling now. But no matter how much you think it'll be a burden to others, it never is. Those around you wish nothing but well for you. For me it was my friends. For you it can be anyone; friends, family or someone close to you. Never let the depression make you feel any less of a person. There will be good days and bad but none that will make those close to you abandon you.
November 2nd, 2019 2:49am
For me the thing that has helped the most (and this is still something I'm struggling with and working on...I imagine it might be a life long learning process), was learning about ableism as a system of oppression and the social model of disability. I spend time considering what I believe about the world and other people and work to apply that to myself. I also remind myself often that depression lies to me. I catch myself believing it all the time, but when I can notice that that's what's going on and remind myself that depression is not to be trusted, it helps me counter my depression thinking with what the rest of myself knows to be true and allows me to ask for and receive reassurance from others.
November 6th, 2020 12:34pm
Hello! Depression sometimes become a trick to our mind. They speak the wrong language, try to manipulate our thinking, try to worsen the situation, try to show to us if there's nothing we could do to make our life better, and the last is trying to make us feel like we are such a waste of space. But back again to what I said earlier, they speak fool language, nothing's right is out of the depressed thoughts. Maybe little step you can take is trying to have a small conversation to someone you really close, someone you can trust, or someone who always have your back. You may ask them, like, do I disturb you with our small talk? and they will answer if you are not (of course, you aren't, and we love you!) The more you listen to these feedback, it will help your brain to sense the caring from people, and eventually, little by little, the feeling like you're a burden to someone will vanish. I used to do this, asking whether they hate me for always constantly rambling my thought to them and they love how open I can be to them, not the opposite. Hope this will resonate to you, darling. I hope whoever read this have a better day! :)
November 3rd, 2016 12:23pm
I can stop complaining. Not that I do that often, but I can't put this weight on others shoulder. This is my problem and only I can change it. However it doesn't mean that I should stop asking for help, because that is one of the most important things in the healing process.
November 3rd, 2016 8:39pm
Reminding yourself that you aren't a burden and that you are worthy of love and help. Depression tells you that you aren't worthy of anything,
November 6th, 2016 7:40am
I can stop letting my depression make me feel like a burden by understanding that depression isn't me. I am working on getting better.
November 13th, 2016 8:13pm
Talk to people. There's nothing wrong with talking to them to reassure yourself that it's not negatively affecting them and that you are feeling this way
November 16th, 2016 9:05am
Talk to others about how you feel make sure that they don't really feel that way and If they do then they aren't worth your time. If they say they cherish you and appreciate you being there for them then you should listen and stop letting your depression take control.
December 14th, 2016 8:01pm
It is easy to let your depression make you feel like a burden to others. This is probably one of the biggest reasons that people with depression don't reach out for help sooner. If you had Crohn's Disease, would you still be afraid of reaching out for help? Just because depression isn't something you can see, doesn't mean that it isn't just as real as every other illness out there. If there are people in your life that are making you feel like your illness is a burden, then maybe you should consider surrounding with different people.
January 22nd, 2017 8:26pm
The best way to do that is to seek professional help. Your depression is probably not a burden to other people, but you just feel like this because of depression. If you have a therapist already, talk to them about this.
February 8th, 2017 1:55am
now this is a really tough one. depression is something that will take control of everything but you have to remember that depression is NOT you! you are not depression. you are you and you are loved by people. do not let it get in your way and fight back!
February 18th, 2017 7:43am
Surround yourself by positive and supportive people and just try to think positive. In my experience what seems to help the most is talking to those supportive people and tell them how you feel. It really helps when someone tells you that you aren't a burden to them and that they care for you.
February 24th, 2017 9:20pm
Try and use my experiences to help others know they're not alone, I would also tell them all the stuff that helps me to help them
March 1st, 2017 6:03pm
A great way to overcome that feeling of being a burden is realizing the truth of your situation. Depression is an incredibly hard thing to go through and it takes energy, strength and most importantly, support, to find your way out of it. Remind yourself of the difficult situation you are going through, and realize that to heal, you have to ask for help. You are not a burden.. Mental illness is an illness, just like cancer, pneumonia or MS. Those people are not burdens. They're just going through an illness that they have no control over. Depression is the same way. And when you have that support, strength, and energy.. That is what will get you through.
March 29th, 2017 4:44pm
Focus on yourself first and how to help yourself, by doing this you're taking in accountability yourself and your actions. We can only change ourselves for ourselves and although other people may worry about us, it is only up to us to change ourselves for the better.
April 14th, 2017 8:53pm
It's never a burden to have someone listen to you that are friends or family of you. They should always be willing to listen to you. Best way to help your depression is do the things that you love to do. Write in a journal of your feelings and always remember there is so many self help options.
April 30th, 2017 11:53am
Try to imagine yourself as a friend. How would you treat your friend if they were suffering like you are? You would probably still love them and care about them, and want to help them; it's very likely that your friends want the same thing for you.
May 3rd, 2017 5:12pm
Your depression is not a burden, it is a part of you. People around you understand that and they love you no matter what. If you know that you are trying to be better, to not be a burden then it is like that.
May 13th, 2017 9:12am
Try to realize that there are so, so, so many others also battling depression. And there are sooo many loved ones wanting to help the ones they love that are suffering. Your suffering isn't a burden to others. The only thing that probably bothers them is that they can't help you and want to be able to. The only person your depression burdens is you. And if others make you feel that you are a burden to them, don't listen.
May 27th, 2017 3:49am
It's important, first and foremost, to realize that depression is NOT your fault. Of course, this does not give us the permission to intentionally harm other people and we should take on responsibility for our own actions. However, when we experience depression, we may find ourselves pushing away our loved ones because we just want to be alone (as a way of protecting ourselves) and as a result, we fear that we are emotionally draining our family members and friends. It seems like, based on your question, that you really care about making your loved ones happy and that you mean no harm to them. However, when things get rough, you should remember to focus on taking care of yourself first (I know, it's much easier said than done, but it's necessary). After all, our loved ones often only wish for us to be happy.
May 29th, 2017 1:09pm
My short answer would be - through small acts of kindness and support to others. One might think - with depression you're hardly carrying yourself from one day to another, and there's simply no energy left for others - and I'd agree. But there is a trick - we usually do want to be kind and useful. Do you see a person in pain and think like a gentle hand on their shoulder could make things better? Then put that hand on their shoulder. Does a thought cross your mind to share that apple of yours with your buddy? Then go ahead and do it. Put the butter in the fridge, clean that dusty table, or whatever there is - even with that super sad and apathetic face of yours. There are myriad of kind thoughts/actions that can cross your mind. Just don't let the depression stop you from acting upon them. I hope you beat that depression really soon!
June 7th, 2017 8:18pm
Try to seek out to a parent or parents or legal guardian about how you feel. Try to get help on how your feeling
June 7th, 2017 11:09pm
Remember that you're not helping anyone by suffering silently. Those close to you would much rather know that you're depressed and getting help, than feeling like you're suffering and keeping it to yourself.