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How can I stop letting my depression make me feel like a burden to others?

147 Answers
Last Updated: 12/06/2020 at 8:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
April 14th, 2018 9:12am
The best way to stop letting depression make you feel like a burden to others is to transform your depression experience from a negative thing to a positive one. As a person who understands harsh feelings of depression, I've been through the phase where I felt like a burden on other people. I was at a point where I was always angry with others and was in a very taking mindset instead of giving. However, I chose to accept that I was in a negative depressive state, and decided to use my experience to help others who were going through the same thing even while I was still going through the worst of the feelings. Once I truly made that decision, I worked on being a desirable friend, on being more vulnerable with others, and overall becoming a person that I and others could love. So in short, if you feel as if you are burdening others with your depression, know that your depression is a part of your life that is necessary for you to empathize and make a huge difference in another person's life.
April 21st, 2018 12:01pm
First, stop believing you are a burden to others. The thing one should do while one is suffering from depression is building self-confidence. Next time, you're out on the streets, walk with your head held high :)
April 25th, 2018 4:37am
Realize that you are someone that people would like to be happy and live a productive life. And that is the same way that you must treat yourself.
May 2nd, 2018 12:42am
I feel you have to understand your Depression first. Respect yourself. Understand that you’re going through a hard time, and give yourself some praise.
May 2nd, 2018 11:43pm
Remember that the people I care about also care about me and want to see me be the best version of myself I can be.
May 6th, 2018 12:24pm
Showing yourself compassion is so important. For instance, acknowledging the factors (like, trauma, family issues, chemical imbalance) that caused your depression and accepting that it isn't your fault. Imagining another person in your situation and then applying how you see them in your own situation can help too. Would you feel like another depressed person was a burden to the people in their life? Be kind to yourself (:
May 6th, 2018 3:41pm
Depression is something that can and will, most of the time, make you feel like a burden to others. A way to change this feeling is to always change your negative thoughts for thoughts that would be more realistic. For exemple : ''I am a burden for them, that's why they don't answer my messages'' Change that statement for something like : ''It is highly possible that they aren't responding because they are busy. I'll give them some time'' This exercise may appear hard, but on the long run, it'll be really helpful :)
May 6th, 2018 10:59pm
By realizing it is not a burden. Your depression is there, it is real. Friends and family are meant to be there to help and support you, and they want you to feel better.
May 11th, 2018 10:24pm
You are loved. You are cared for, and you are enough. You are not a burden to anyone love
May 19th, 2018 3:49am
Try to be more happy and not being depressed. Depression runs off on others, and you don't want that. You want to be happy, so think of the good things in life and not the bad. I hope this helped...
May 20th, 2018 12:06am
Try talking about it. Whether it's with your therapist, a family member/ friend, or even just anonymously. I think that you will find comfort in letting it out and maybe even finding someone else who has/does feel the same way as you.
June 1st, 2018 2:19pm
Depression is a lie in your brain. It’s sadness and words that are not true. Do not listen to the negative. Embrace the light.
June 22nd, 2018 2:47pm
It sounds like your self-talk is pretty negative when you're going through your depression. Am I right? Have you thought to seek out a few motivating sayings that allows you to stop downing yourself? If a friend was telling you that s/he felt like a burden, what would you say to that person? Please know that having needs only make you human, not a burden. You'll find that most people are willing and happy to help.
June 24th, 2018 5:42am
The most important thing that you can do is to become aware that you have depression & seek help for it. Just like you would treat an illness or an injury. You may choose to seek professional help, which would be advised, especially if you ever have thoughts of suicide or self-harm. An option for general depression is to walk or do another type of exercise...just as helpful and necessary for the mind as for the body.
June 27th, 2018 6:01am
Counter your thoughts by writing down your achievements (big or small) to help remind you that you are capable of big thing and you deserve to belong.
June 29th, 2018 10:14am
You must realise that your depression is an illness, an ailment like any other. You wouldn’t feel like your friend with a sprained wrist was a burden so why should you be so hard on yourself? And you would be happy to provide assistance to such a friend I’m sure with tasks they might find difficult as they recover therefore others close to you would be happy to do just the same for you! You are not a burden, you are a strong beautiful soul :)
July 18th, 2018 6:38pm
Take a deep breath. Depression Likes to wage thoughts into your head. Your depession is a part of you. An by talking to people about it. It might help over come some of your depressive habits
July 21st, 2018 2:06am
I know this is going to be much easier said than done, but learning to accept and love Yourself. Took me ages and I'm still working on it, but once I accepted me for me, my depression became 1000 times less.
July 25th, 2018 6:15pm
No matter how you feel about yourself, you will never be a burden to others. The people around you will always be there for you, through the highs and the lows. They want to help you through the hard times, so let them support you, knowing that you would do the same for them
August 3rd, 2018 1:27am
By stopping being dependent on others and sharing your feelings with those who genuinely care for you. They can help you heal.
September 7th, 2018 10:02pm
I think about the fact that we are all interdependent on each other. Humans, plants and animals all live in symbiosis. We all take and give in different ways. Sometimes my depression tells me that I'm not worthy of love or care from other people (and even myself). But I am learning how to analyze those thoughts and affirm that I am worthy of love and care - just like everyone else. Sometimes that might mean that I can't attend a function. Or I might need a conversation that focuses on me. Of course other people have the right to decide what they can and can't give. That is their choice. But if they choose to give of their time and energy, I try to accept it without feeling badly about myself.
September 9th, 2018 5:55pm
Don't talk about it around other people, try to realize that depression is real but you don't have to make it other people's problem. A step to coming out of depression may be to force yourself to be social and talk about things other than your sadness. I know depression can't be fixed in a day, but if you really want to overcome try all options even though they may be out of your comfort zone. In short, try to hide your depression away the best you can for the sake of others because depression, at times, can be a very selfish thing.
November 7th, 2018 8:21am
One of the ways depression is so devastating is in its power of slowly chipping away at our self- worth, it has helped me to keep a written reminder of that, I would write that in one of those moments when my depression does not have that strong of a hold on me. And, as a general rule of thumb people are happy when we ask them for help, the same way we are happy to be there for others and remember when you start being a burden there is a high chance they would let you know. Just so you can be in peace, maybe you can tell them openely to let you know when you start bothering them a lot
November 7th, 2018 3:00pm
Wow, that is such a tough but very real problem for people with depression. Try to remind yourself that there are people that care and want you to be well. We need to do what we can to talk care of ourselves. Sometimes reaching out for help can feel like you are inconveniencing someone but it is important. Talking to friends, family and people we are close with is important for connection and building our support systems but it might sometimes feel burdensome. One way can maybe you feel less like a burden is to seek additional support by others that are professionals or have signed up specifically to support people in distress. For example, seeing a counsellor or talking to people on 7 cups. These people have specifically signed up to help people like you- so do not feel like you are burden in anyway when you reach out to these people!
November 25th, 2018 7:41am
Depression can be very intimidating at times, but you can't pull through it alone. Your not a burden to others. It's just how you feel. People may act like they don't care at times but they do. Some people are just to afraid to get involved in that sort of stuff, but they do care. Some people don't realize how bad depression is. But I feels like a burden because that's what it is to you. It slows life down and makes you feel like your alone, but your not. Many people deal have to deal with it everyday
November 30th, 2018 6:55pm
By recognizing that *your depression* is making you feel like a burden -- not yourself, or your rational mind, or others -- you have already made a great first step. However unfortunately, I don't believe there is any quick, easy way to stop feeling like a burden, short of curing your depression on the whole. However, one way to work *with* the feelings that you have -- even if you cannot erase them -- is to simply ask others (like trusted friends) whether you are a burden. If you want, you can explain that you feel like a burden and are trying to overcome this feeling. Otherwise, you don't have to disclose at all: simply tell your confidante that you feel you have asked too much or been a burden, and ask if they feel that way, too. Sometimes when your own mind warps the story, the most powerful response is to let others around you tell the story instead.
January 18th, 2019 7:40am
In my experience, the first step towards lightening the load of your depression is be able to accept that you have depression. Most of us, including me, didn't know we had depression because perhaps we thought it was something else, or that our childhood experiences had adversely affected us and we just had to 'buck up' and move on. I understood my depression to be a persistent state of low energy that prevented me from overcoming social and personal obstacles. When I had a challenge, I almost always found a way to side-step it and that made me feel even worse. Low energy for accomplishing important tasks remains a struggle that I address with daily plans for exercise, diet, sharing my difficulties with professionals and support groups and progress paths that help me stay on track. It seems to come in waves and I do my best with what I have got in front of me. I have made so much progress and especially progress in being able to admit I have this problem in the first place and that there is always something I can do to about it every day. I like the phrases: change a thought move a muscle. While depression like mine feels physical, it is amazing how trying to think differently about it changes it.
January 20th, 2019 10:45pm
For me, it helps to understand that other people have the right to make their own decisions regarding their relationship with me, and that it’s more important to live my truth than to try to cater to other people. Making the decision that my condition is a burden for someone else is a disservice to those who love me and genuinely want to support me in whatever way they can. Although it’s certainly easier said than done, being open and asking for support ultimately creates a stronger relationship for both parties, and if someone truly thinks a disease is a burden, it says something about them, rather than something about me.
February 18th, 2019 3:50pm
You can start by contacting your GP or member of the mental health team who will put you in contact with a service who will be able to help you cope with the condition. A lot of people with depression don't mention they have it and believe it's a burden to speak to others but it's a easily dealt with such as medication and therapy depending on the form of depression you may have never face depression alone as dealing with it alone can also be frightening always ask for help especially if you can't cope with the condition having depression isn't nice but support is available
March 7th, 2019 7:15am
Try to ignore the thoughts in your head that make you feel like a burden. If there are people in your life who will reassure you that you are not a burden, reach out to them and let them help. Try to think back on times in your life that remind you that you are indeed not a burden. All of these things are easier said than done, but you can overcome your depression and these types of feelings. Be kind to yourself, like you would be to a friend or loved one. You deserve that kind of care too.