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How can I stop letting my depression make me feel like a burden to others?

147 Answers
Last Updated: 12/06/2020 at 8:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
BettyCat
March 8th, 2019 7:42pm
You simply have to realize that it's just your illness telling you that you're a burden. People do care about you and want you around. I have depression and isolate myself very often but i opened up to a few people about my depression and they said they feel bad when a stay away from people and that they enjoy my company. Maybe you could start and end your day the way I do by telling yourself a positive mantra. I say this to myself : " I am worth recovery and worth peoples time. People love me and so should I."
Anonymous
March 20th, 2019 7:12am
I don't think I can say all the time, but most of the time the ones who care about you don't see it as a burden. The ones who genuinely care for you want to help you out. I mean, you've opened up to someone regarding this, so I'm assuming you understand each other pretty well. Even then if you are worried about being a burden talk to the person about this. Find out if they think of you that way. It isn't your fault you are going through such a phase. One thing you should never forget is the person who wants to help you out won't feel that way, you just have to identify the right person to help you out, they will never feel that way. I hope this was able to help you out.
Anonymous
May 27th, 2019 3:00pm
People want to help you. The only way you can be a burden is by letting them know you have depression, but not letting them help. If you don't want people to worry, then you need to let them into your life, and let hear your story. Don't think you're just asking for help because you want attention. If you have depression, then you need to get help before it escalates to something too big. I know first-hand that not telling people, not getting the help you need, can make it all worse. Holding something inside gives you time to think without say. Even if you don't tell anybody, someone will figure out what you are struggling with. If they care, they will worry. If they don't care, then that is their problem. Only when you block out the people worrying will you be the burden. Or even if you don't want to talk to anybody about what you are going through, just pick up your teddy bear or favorite toy (or favorite book) and talk to it. Again: only the holding it inside, letting it get worse, will make you any of a burden.
WarmHeart22
June 7th, 2019 1:41pm
I think this is a significant topic to discuss as a majority of people tend to think of depression as to have behaviors that are attention-seeking or difficult to approach. In fact, depression is a non-communicable disease and the burden of non-communicable diseases are more difficult to circulate around in terms of treatment which creates this assumption. Nevertheless, it must be emphasized that you don't want this depression and you are willing to take approaches to let your mental health improve, hence, fighting through this depression. Demonstrating effort towards fighting your depression shows it won't be as much of a burden towards others, as you are putting the effort to light it, and the others can just do some light work towards helping you like supportive comments or just being there for you.
HotChocolate2
June 22nd, 2019 3:21am
First of all, it’s important to recognize that what you feel is not always what is real. You may feel like a burden to others, but that doesn’t mean you are! The best way to get a positive reality check is to talk to someone openly and honestly about how you are feeling. If there’s no one you feel comfortable telling, log on to 7Cups and connect with a Listener! It’s important not to get too caught up in your emotions. Second of all, living with depression is hard. Not a lot of people understand that. If someone doesn’t understand depression, it can lead to them misinterpreting your actions and responding in hurtful ways that can make you feel like you are doing something wrong. Don’t beat yourself up. Talk to them honestly and inform them about what depression really is. If you and the people around you are on the same page, you’ll find that they’re more supportive and patient with you!
MissLisa
August 18th, 2019 6:07pm
Never feel like you are a burden to other people. You have a mental health condition and I am sure they would want you to open up to them so that they can provide you with support and encouragement. Think of it this way... if they were struggling, wouldn't you want to help them? Would you see them as a burden? Talking helps us in our recovery and I cannot encourage you to talk enough. If you broke your arm, you would accept help so why not accept help for your mental health? Just remember depression effects how we perceive ourselves and how we think other perceive us.
enchantingSky79
January 15th, 2020 2:48pm
You are not a burden. You need help and because you are in a vulnerable situation, you feel like you are burdening others with your problems. You are not a burden! You are a human being who needs help, we all do sometimes. We all need supportive friends and a supportive family when we hit bumps in the road of life. Life can become hard and we can get depression for a number of different reasons. We deserve support, empathy and non judgmental listening. If you had a friend with depression, would you feel like they are burdening you if they said they are feeling low? If yes, talking to a therapist or counselor who is paid or volunteered to listen might help you talk about your problems.
friendlyBlossom7141
February 7th, 2020 8:40am
A depression can often feel like you are a burden to others. that you bother people by talking to them. It's not an easy habit/feeling to break free from. But it can be helpfull to start reaching out for general chitchat at first. and you will see that the people that you love most love you back just as much!! You can also ask if you can talk/ventilate first and you will see they will be there for you to listen and talk. Don't be affraid to reach out. You'll notice that virtually nobody thinks of you as a burden!!
froggieishereforyou
March 4th, 2020 5:56pm
First off, know that your depression is not your fault, and that it isn't a burden to others. A good way to stop feeling this way is to talk to a counselor or therapist instead of family and friends. Counselors and Therapists know how to help, and they're specifically there to help you. If you feel this way due to you not being able to get out of bed, try explaining how you feel, and why you can't get out of bed. Remember that your family and friends love you, and care for you. However, also remember that a therapist is trained to help
Anonymous
March 20th, 2020 12:55am
This is a common symptom of depression. First you must understand that this is the reason why you feel this way, not because it's true, but because it is a symptom. How would you feel if anyone else in your life had ongoing health problems, mental or otherwise? Would you feel like they were a burden? Hopefully you would love and support them through their struggles. There is no reason for you to not extend this compassion to yourself. Regardless of how you may feel about yourself, you are not an exception to the rule that humans deserve compassion.
bellarina74
March 22nd, 2020 2:17am
Having dealt with depresssion for many years, it can be difficult to grasp anything that is outside your own thoughts. It is important to remember there are others around you who may be experiencing the same symptoms you are but they have a different method of communication when trying to engage with someone helpful at that time. Try different methods and you will find one that works for you. If it appears someone is not giving you the attention you are seeking then maybe try a different approach. Ask them if they have a few minutes to speak with you as you have something important to say. There is nothing wrong with have something important to say. There is nothing wrong with asking :)
PromisingPJ
April 1st, 2020 10:14pm
Surround yourself with positive and understanding people. Inform them of your situation if you feel comfortable enough to do so. Most importantly, do not let depression take control of your life. Find ways to manage this mental obstacle, and soon you will be able to overcome it. Concentrate on things that bring you happiness in life, and know that it is okay to feel depressed at times. Emotions are natural, they are our body’s way of reacting to certain situations. Learning to manage your emotions is the key, and by managing your depressed feeling you can ensure ways to not let a mental obstacle feel like a burden.
endearingSpace3540
April 8th, 2020 12:26am
You are doing great right now. You have come to terms with what is bothering you and that shows a huge improvement. Take it one day at a time and know that you are worth everything. Things will get better. I can’t promise that it will be easy but I know you will get there. The best way to start is by communicating how you feel. When you communicate it shows others that you want to be heard. For example it took a lot for you to talk to me today. I am very proud of you and I’m sure you will be successful on your journey.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2020 5:22pm
It can be hard to reach out, particularly when your depression makes that feel hard. However, if you can reach out sometimes that helps me realize I am not alone and not a burden. Being listened to and heard helps me to realize that I am not the only one feeling this way and that most times people want to help you and want to be there for you. I think about my friends and how no matter what the have going on in their lives they are not a burden to me. They are people I care about and want to help. 7 cups is a great place to reach out if it feels difficult to reach out to people in our lives.
kandinskycat
May 6th, 2020 1:07am
One thing that works for me is to imagine how I would feel if my friend was going through the same thing. I would love them unconditionally and want the best for them, and I can assume that my friend would feel the same way, because if they didn't, why would they bother being my friend? Even if my brain thinks that they're pretending to like me so they won't hurt my feelings, no one would go through that much effort to make me feel better if they didn't like me. Not sure if that helps, but that's what I tell myself!
werebear
June 7th, 2020 9:53am
I can stop letting my depression make me feel like a burden to others by realizing that I'm a human, and all humans require varying degrees of maintenance and oversight. You wouldn't tell a crippled individual to just deal with it and walk, so why would it be alright to tell a mentally unwell person to just shoulder the burden and go alone? It's important to understand that you are important, and that it is important that you are taken care of. If this means reaching out for help, then by all means, reach out. Chances are others understand what you're going through and would be happy to either sit down and help or refer you to someone better equipped to do so.
Tellmewhatsgoingon
July 19th, 2020 8:23am
Help people when they are depressed and you are not. These are the people whom you can go to when you're depressed without feeling like you're a burden to them. The key is in empathizing. Don't shut your eyes to other's problems when you're happy. Help others on their difficult times even when they are not in a position to return anything back to you. This is how you build your comfortable circle of friends. Not every friend will be able to give you back what you want. Have a diverse group of such listeners so that you don't load a single person with all your depression. It takes time to build such a network and takes sincere effort.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2020 8:18pm
It must be very difficult dealing with depression, especially during this stressful quarantine situation. Remember that your feelings are valid, and you deserve to express your pain and struggles to someone. You don't need to feel like a burden to others. No matter where you go, there will always be people ready to listen to you. Whether you find someone on seven cups to talk to, a therapist, or close family and friends remember that there are always people who care about you and are willing to give you the help you need. I pray for your strength difficult journey and for recovery.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2020 6:04am
This is a tricky question. I would try to focus my attention on other activities. Maybe getting your mind off the topic will help? Another suggestion I have is telling your close friends and/or family about your depression. Maybe that can help you lift the burden off your shoulder? If you have already told them about it, I would suggest going with the first option I suggested, focus on other activities. Do the things you enjoy doing. If you don't feel like those things make you happy anymore, try expanding your interests? Maybe try new things and see where they lead you.
kahliyahsangel
September 16th, 2020 2:44pm
Depression is a burden itself and I understand. We all deal with a season of crisis and uncertainty but just know that nothing is too hard and you will overcome. How can I Stop letting depression get to you? What is depression? What's making you depressed? Is it possible to leave what is making you depress? Everybody in this world have dealt with depression sometime in their life. Some people did counseling, some cried everyday until they were able to get up from that depress state, I say that to say this depression is not your last result you can heal.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 3:51am
Sometimes depression can cause you to feel like a burden to others, which is perfectly okay to be experiencing. When you feel like you are a burden to others, it is important to ask yourself why you are feeling this way, and what you can try and to to help prevent this feeling. If you are able to, try communicating with these people to try and figure out why you feel this way, and how you can work together for you to feel better. Hopefully through communicating how you feel and why it will be easier fit you to remember in your tough times that you are not a burden to others. Remember that your emotions are valid, and that you are loved. I hope this helps you in the process of figuring out your emotions.
HelenaxForever
November 1st, 2020 10:53am
offer then a drink, or cookies or anything such as tea before you feel the need to communicate to them. let them feel they are welcome to you as a person and not just someone to empty your frustrations. Let them feel like they are at home. a part of you. Also first ask about them. how are you? what are you up to? what have you eat yesterday how are the kids, family work, etc. After that, they will feel connected and then you can share yours and it won't feel like a burden but rather like a warm conversation between both of you. Two ways always communication always feel better than one way
jarver
November 18th, 2020 11:26pm
Know that depression is very common and that you are not a burden. Depression is treatable and you are not alone. Sometimes we feel like we are burdening others but in reality, people are going through the same things we are and feel the exact same way. You never know who you are helping by sharing your story each day. Everyone goes through changes and we all go through ups and downs. You are in a safe space here to share and be heard. Continue to seek out someone to talk to and continue to share your story!
specialMelody96
November 20th, 2020 8:54pm
After talking this exact same issue through with my therapist, she asked me to consider the people in my life who have reached out to me for mental health help. Did I view them as a burden? The answer was no! I care for the people in my life, and it feels like an honour to be trusted enough to have them reach out to me. Almost inevitably, the people in your life who care about you will feel the same way, and not view you to be a burden. We are all important and worthy of help and attention.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2020 9:11pm
I don't think that ever really goes away. Even if you don't have depression, you can feel that you are a burden to people, especially friends. And then you start to think that you should stop talking to people in general so you don't have to be a bother to them. Let me tell you that that isn't the case. If you are really bothering them then they will tell you that you are bothering them or you are a burden to them. If they do feel that way and don't tell you, well then that's on them. You aren't being a burden too much for them to say anything. Just a piece of advice, you aren't ever a burden to anyone. If you are, then they aren't real friends, because real friends don't care how much you need them. They are willing to talk to you and comfort you.
10311996
December 3rd, 2020 7:19pm
If you’re struggling to do the things you used to do, focus on doing what you can. For example, maybe you don’t have the energy to do as much with your family or friends as you used to, but you can still find ways to share time together and show your love. Don’t let your guilt about your diminished abilities cause you to withdraw from what you are able to do.So notice when you’re thinking things that lead to guilt about your mental health. Those thoughts are probably way more critical than makes sense. Remember that thoughts are not facts, but rather stories your mind creates that may or may not be true. When possible, talk to someone you love and trust about your thoughts; they’ll probably be able to help you spot overly negative thoughts about yourself.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2020 8:43pm
I think that you can get through feeling like a burden by just helping. Even if you're tired and struggle to feel like you make a difference, try to help out with whatever you can. Know that you are not a burden, but if you have a hard time telling yourself that then prove it to yourself, and it doesn't have to be anything physical. Just be there if somebody needs it and you can prove to yourself that you are a great person. It can also help to just know that were you truly a burden, there wouldn't be people who love you helping you. And even if you don't think that there is, somebody is out there, in your life, that truly loves you and wants the best for you, just try your best to be as best you can be until you see for yourself that you are truly great.