How can I stop making assumptions?
Last Updated: 01/07/2019 at 11:46pm
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
I love this question. Assumptions arise from the ego - that part in us that tries so very hard to protect us from ourselves and the outside world. We assume things in an attempt to outsmart a situation or person to keep us from getting hurt. The thing about assumptions is this: the world is only happening through a series of PERCEPTIONS. We never see the world as it truly is, we can only see it through the lens of our own eyes/hearts/minds. The next time you find yourself making an assumption, try to remind yourself that you are seeing the world through your own perception. Try to take yourself out of the situation and see it objectively. See it as if you are watching a play. This takes out the emotion, it takes out the thoughts that come with it, and lets you see what is happening through your perception without being tied to it.
When it comes down to it, assumptions are caused by a lack of communication. It can be difficult to gather the courage to ask questions but if you practice at it, you'll surely notice it becomes easier. The best thing you can do is practice talking with people and asking them questions. If you can't do that, try your best to let go of whatever assumptions you've developed. Just acknowledge them, then understand that you can't possibly know for sure, and forget about it. Don't let it trouble you until it comes up again, and then do your best to politely ask questions or think critically about why exactly you developed a particular assumption in the first place. I highly suggest reading The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6596.The_Four_Agreements
Be in the moment. Listen to what the person is saying. Look around at what is happening. Describe what it is that you are hearing and seeing. If you take things as they are you will learn over time to stop assuming because you are living in the present.
fear of losing control leads you to this situation. lean back and learn to observe the life flow around you like watching a stream in an aquarium window underneath a river. sometimes we need to stop and look around in life to understand the larger picture.
I stopped by learning to think before speaking. Often my rush to talk got the best of me or my own personal insecurities took over when all I ever needed to do was think.
My best tip is to be mindful of your own thoughts. "Catch" yourself, and recognize when you might be jumping to conclusions about something. Instead of voicing that assumption you might instead ask the person what they're thinking about the situation at hand. "How are you dealing with this? Are you feeling stressed, or maybe sad? What do you feel like is happening here?" These are all wonderful open ended questions that can get the person talking from their point of view, which might open up a side of things you hadn't thought of before!
By understanding that making assumptions is normal and part of our brains tendency to fill out incomplete information. However, we also need to exercise a choice not to believe everything that is assumed immidately. Over time, the assumptions reduce. It's all about the story we want to believe when we don't have enough info.
Try putting yourselves in their shoes. Understand what they're going through and look at it from every angle, there's almost certainly a reason why they're doing it.
I can stop making assumptions by remembering that each person is different and they all handle things differently.
Try to ask yourself "Am i jumping to conclusions,Realize that not everyone thinks the same as you do because we are all individuals
Try to imagine what that person is going through. Other people might have the same problems as you and you have to be aware of that.
Everyone is at a different point in their life. Emotional stability is not line it is more of a bar graph. Some days you will be better than others, that is just life. Very few things in life will be game changers. It is important to ask yourself if it will matter a year from now. Most people do not set out to make you feel bad. Many people are simply just focused on their own problems, and don't stop to think about others.
When it comes down to it, assumptions are caused by a lack of communication. It can be difficult to gather the courage to ask questions but if you practice at it, you'll surely notice it becomes easier. The best thing you can do is practice talking with people and asking them questions. If you can't do that, try your best to let go of whatever assumptions you've developed. Just acknowledge them, then understand that you can't possibly know for sure, and forget about it. Don't let it trouble you until it comes up again, and then do your best to politely ask questions or think critically about why exactly you developed a particular assumption in the first place
well in my opinion you can change the word assumption to guess and opinion, that way you won't be assuming but will be guessing. But if you wanna do that too, I believe controlling your thoughts by like using meditation.
You need to understand that you don't know what persons story. You cannot judge till you know. There is always a reason someone is who they are.
by looking at facts and looking objectively at situations and observe a lot whats happening around you. not assume something, also you can ask, and check
Stick to what is happening in the moment. Don't try to predict anything and be clear about the facts.
stop thinking that there is reason/s behind everything "don't over psychologising" in our terms of words
Once you realise that you can never really know what people are thinking or why they have chosen to behave in a certain way, you can assure yourself that social pressures, judgment, embarrassment and shyness all play a part in how a person behaves. If you percieve someone's behaviour in a certain way, bear in mind that sometimes it is hard to tell why somebody behaved in a certain way or took a certain course of action. Maybe your own judgment is colouring your idea of why someone did a particular thing.
By being in the here and now. Challenging ourselves with questions, asking ourselves for evidences, doing self-reflection really helps.
You can stop making assumptions by dealing with facts that can be proven. You must realise that there are multiple ways up a mountain and not one.
Assumptions often stem from not having an open mind or willingness to investigate further. To stop making assumptions, one must go out themselves to seek answers about whatever they may think about something and decide whether these things are true or false. For example, a stereotype is something many people base assumptions off of, but they may or may not apply to the things in mind. I find that doing research using unbiased articles or talking to people in general helps open up your mind, lessening the possibility of making an assumption.
Well, assumptions are an automatic thought process. Stopping yourself from making assumptions is difficult but REMINDING yourself that they are assumptions is pretty easy to do. Taking a step back from a situation and rethinking it should help. "Is this really the most likely scenario, or am I just jumping to a conclusion when so many other things are just as likely?"
This will sound silly, but get creative. When you catch yourself making an assumption, ask instead, "What if..." and mull over an outlandish scenario or two. The better you get at thinking up impossible scenarios, the better you'll get at thinking up unlikely scenarios, and then you might find yourself considering likely and realistic scenarios different than what you would have originally assumed.
i find myself making assumptions all the time in my day to day life and am seemingly unable to stop. Something that could help even though i have no idea if it actually would is to not make assumptions until you have enough information that supports the assumptions you make. You could also try and stop yourself when you catch yourself making assumptions about things you have no previous knowledge about. As i stated in the beginning i do not know if this works but i do not know that it can't work for someone as well. Hope this was nice to read and have a nice day
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