How do I get over the loss of the love of my life?
Last Updated: 08/06/2018 at 5:19pm
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
For me i don't bother trying. The harder i try the worse i get. The love of your life is a special person some one who fundamentally changed who you are and how you see the world, and if that is for the better then don't leave the good things you learn behind. That said there is a difference between being in love with a person and a memory of that person. People change, and sometimes that change is painful, especially when they are so much a part of your life. Sadly, all too often we hold onto a relationship that is bad for us long after it turns toxic because we loved how they made us feel, and it's only after the pain of being with them is greater than the joy they once gave us that we choose to let go.
Honestly you never get over the loss of them. You learn to cope with it. It is a very hard deal to overcome, but not impossible!
The first important step of getting over someone is accepting the fact that you are also a wonderful person without your lost lover and that you shouldn't give yourself up because of the break-up. Try to find activities that you like: start doing a new sport, start writing...whatever helps you occupying your mind and making yourself feel better!
It's not easy to lose someone you love. Joining support groups and/or talking it out with friends and family may help.
With time and support. there is no one way to grieve, no correct amount of time it will take. Reach out to supports, talk about how you are feeling, distract yourself with new hobbies and try new things that you have not done before. It's our old behavioral patterns that tend to keep us hitched to the past. Break those patterns and you may see a reduction in the hurt.
By loss, I am assuming that the love of your life passed away. I am sorry about that. All I can say is give it time and come to terms with it. It is something that can't be changed now but over time, you can make the choice to move ahead with life despite this loss.
First off, it is completely normal to feel pain with a break up. It hurts because it mattered. And now you've lost the person you would normally go to for your stresses and your problems. That's difficult. To continue, with time, it will get better, but that in no way invalidates the pain that you may be feeling right now. So yes, the simple answer is that with time you will get over them. However, that isn't very much help. Talk to others or write down what might've gone wrong in the relationship without assigning too much blame to you or them, this is a learning experience after all. Also, it's important to take time to get over them and recover and become more aware of yourself. If you need to limit contact with your ex to aid this recovery, I would go ahead and do that. Also, be prepared for relapses, for days when you miss them all over again. I wish you luck, sweetie, stay awesome
You'll never get over it completely, But you will learn to live with it and move forward. You'll think of that person often, but eventually you'll focus more on the good instead of the bad and when reminiscing you will be able to smile and laugh instead of cry
A person can never really let go of something they held so close, but the best thing you could do is try to find someone better that can fill that space again
Realize that the special gifts they brought to you life will never be duplicated by anyone else. Grieve that, and then be open to a new person who brings you different, new things that you can appreciate.
The most difficult part is getting through the pain, sadness, and grief. Losing someone so clear is very painful. Unfortunately, the only way to get over something is to walk through the fire. Feel the emotions fully and release those emotions little by little. It helps to surround ourselves with reminder that life still have precious moments like with supportive friends or find things we enjoy doing.
Grieve. Then scream out in anger. Cry. Do the things that you want to do so that you will be happy. Get rid of triggers. Distance yourself from the person. Separate yourself from the things that connect you to the person. Let go of old stuff, memories. Write feelings out in a journal. Forgive. Accept, Move on.
You can get over the loss of the love of your life by knowing that they are in a better place. You can continue you to live the legacy that they left behind and do things daily that you know would make them proud. Whoever and wherever you are I hope that you have the support that you need to deal with this situation.
Just some tips: - listen to music to distract yourself - do things that you love - cry. dont be afraid to do it - it always helps to just let it out - punch a pillow - sleep
Believe that she is in a better place and she feels way better there than here, she is here too, RIP
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