How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly?

This is really difficult and many people struggle with this, including me! I think it's important to wait until everyone has calmed down before attempting to discuss it again because, in my experience, people tend to be irrational during a bad reaction, or for a while after. It seems easier to talk to them at a later date and explain exactly how you felt in that moment. Perhaps, if it's a more urgent situation, you could put then in your shoes by explaning a scenario they may understand in order for them to know how you're feeling first hand. Maybe that could help them to see how your feelings are valid without them being confused about your emotions

Explain to them that their reactions were not what you expected and explain to them that your feelings are valid because you are experiencing something. If needed, you can educate them on your issue because a bad reaction can come from lack of education. Educating and informing can do wonders for a parent's reaction. You can also explain how their reaction made you feel by saying their reaction wasn't what you were expecting or hoping. Hopefully, your parent will become more understanding and will want to help you in the future so this does not happen again. Hope this helps.

Setting boundaries with parents can be very difficult, but it is important to remind them that you are your own person that has feelings and thoughts as well. Try sitting them down to calmly let them know that there reaction hurt you. Try not to be accusatory or bring up past problems. Tell them that you are explaining your feelings as a way to grow in your relationship with them, not as a way to disrespect their authority as a parent. Explain how their reactions specifically hurt you and why they hurt. Trying to keep it respectful, calm, and making it clear it is a discussion may help avoid further bad reactions.

I would give it some time to make sure that everyone is calm about the situation & then ask them to talk about it. explain the situation from your side, how they reacted, why it made you feel the way it did & what you would want them to do differently. then they can share their side too and explain what they would like you to do differently or why they acted the way that they did. that way it helps both sides understand each other and know what they can work on and change to avoid this happening again

This is a very delicate situation. I think you should first wait for them to calm down then maybe over a cup of tea bring up the issue at hand. However, when sharing your opinion be sure to avoid from saying something along the lines of "you are wrong, you don't understand"- while this might be the case its likely to anger them. Just try and be mature and respectful when approaching them. I might recommend making it clear when you approach them that you do not mean to offend in any way. Don't raise your voice and avoid pointing fingers. Now if they still don't listen, don't get angry. Your feelings are valid even if they may not understand.

I think this might happen because of the cognitive gap. Cognitive gap is a thing that you feel different from others, such as your parents. However, I believe that everyone will probably have different perspectives, and it is normal to have different opinion towards one thing. Parents might more mature than you, but if you really feel valid, you can explain your own views and demonstrate that your opinion is reasonable. And you can politely suggest to your parents to let them try to think differently towards this issue, maybe they will feel better even though they feel badly at the first time.

While this may be difficult to hear, we can never force anyone to accept anything. Even if we use violence or abuse to coerce them into believing what we want, in their hearts they may still hold their previous belief. Ultimately, the only person who can validate your beliefs...is you! However, it is very painful when we are not acknowledged or accepted. The first step is letting the other person know how you felt and why, without being accusatory. If we are accusatory, they may just shut down and no longer want to hear what we have to say. When open communication is an option, we should always strive to connect with others.

Relationships with parents are difficult however your feelings are one hundred percent yours and nobody can take that away from you. Since they reacted poorly remember that you can disagree on opinions but you cannot disagree on your emotions since they are yours. It also may be helpful to keep repeating that they are valid so that you remember why you need to explain it to them so that if there is a next time you are ready for another explanation. You are not at fault for what someone else does. Also, don't forget to take your time when explaining the situation to them and do some calming exercises before so you are not too anxious.

This hasn't happened to me, but having a heart to heart conversation with your parents may not work, but may help. Sitting down with a friend that might go through the same thing as you, and sitting down with them and your parents might help too because they can perhaps explain what they're feeling through different words. That's what I did with my friend when she was thinking about getting an ADHD test. Her father wasn't listening and thought she was only being 'insecure'; something she gets scolded a lot for some reason. Anyway, when I had a sit down with him and my friend, I explained that ADHD isn't only hyperactivity and attention problems. He understood much better. :)))

Relating to this on a personal level after having had this conversation earlier today with a parent, it is pretty hard to discuss things with a stubborn one. They may be very stuck in their ways and don't want to entertain the possibility of being wrong or there being another way alongside their own. Personally, I sought a therapist which could mediate and stand on an equal level with my parent so that instead of my parent having constant control where they could shut the conversation down when it wasn't going the way they wanted - I would get the chance to voice how I felt and what I thought without being constantly told that it didn't matter how I thought or felt. You could try getting a mediator such as a therapist.

From my personal experience, it’s best to give the issue sometime and talk to them at another time. I remembered bring up the topic several times with them immediately reacting badly (not even able to start a conversation), but after sometime (during which I reflected and I believe they did too) we were able to sit down and at least talk rationally about it, with them eventually acknowledging my feelings. I believe that most parents are caring for their children, it’s just hard to alter their preconceptions, etc. If we give them time, bring up the topic calmly, show them that we are thinking maturely (instead of acting childishly), they’d eventually come to understand. Communication is super important but don’t expect every conversation to end in resolution. Parents need time to change.

Once everyone has cooled down, I think you can try to put forth your experience and your point of you in a way that doesn't give the impression that you are blaming them. Once people feel like they are being blamed, they are more likely to become defensive and have a hard time empathizing with you. Try to put it forth as compassionately as possible so that it is easier for them to grasp. You can use "I' statements. For example, instead of saying "You don't care about me or my feelings.” You can say “I feel frustrated when my feelings aren't heard or acknowledged.” This way the focus is on your experience and feelings and less on them. You can also add statements such as "I understand that it may be hard to see where I am coming from but I just want to let you know what my experience is."

Sometimes have tough talks with our parents can be hard. One of the best ways to create a common ground is "I feel "X", when you "Y" statements. This helps us acknowledge our feelings and bring them to the surface in a non-threatening way. This can open the floor for consideration and discussion. Here is an example: Son: "I feel overwhelmed when you say I need to do more dishes than my little sister." Mom: "I understand how that can seem overwhelming and even a bit unfair. I feel like this is a skill I have already taught you and, as a result you can handle a bit more. Your sister is still learning and we would only have to rewash any dishes she did not do correctly. It would make more work. What would make this easier for you?" This opens the door for communication and resolution in a non-accusatory way.

From experinece with speaking to a parent, I know what helped me get a point across when they were not very receptive was supplying an outside parent accepted influence. For instance, if I read about a topic but did not have a strong backaground seeing what a professional said about the topic helped me learn more or provide insight to sources. For instance, if I disagreed about how long an activity should take reading what an expert said would either change my opinion or at least convey to my parents what I had found. I think also being mindful of approaching a subject carefully was also helpful in getting parents to become more receptive in my own experience.

Personally, what worked for me is explaining what they made me feel, why, and how that has impacted me. If the parents cares for your emotions, they will usually acknowledge that and try to grow. Try expressing, as well, that you understand why they reacted the way they did. They're people too. Have a conversation with them where you treat them as equals. I do want to emphasize that sometimes parents can be more focused on themselves and their own problems to the point of being somewhat blind to yours. Stay calm. Sometimes they won't be as supportive as they could be, and it's important to validate yourself if that's the case.