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How do I help other people understand that my sadness is not their fault?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 10/05/2020 at 9:07pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Susana Diaz, lpc

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believed that to be a successful therapist is to be able to empathize and connect with all clients. My work with clients is to help them identify resources to cope.

Top Rated Answers
generousApricot24
March 12th, 2015 5:52pm
Try talking about it with them, telling them how you feel and why and letting them know that you feel that they've got nothing to do with you feeling that way
Anonymous
September 1st, 2015 2:08am
Sometimes it could be so frustrating to actually convince other people that whatever it is that we are feeling, is not their fault. It would even add to our sadness knowing that people are affected by our sadness in a negative way. So, I think, it is best to NOT SHOW that we are sad. I don't mean to keep it bottled up inside-- no. I meant to not display our sadness or negative emotions but channel that emotions to something else. Write, draw, listen to music or whatever that help us to calm ourselves and release some of the emotions that we have.
Itsoktobe
November 16th, 2015 6:28am
I always thank them for being with me...that makes them feel that instead of causing pain, got rid of some. Say thank you.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2015 7:59pm
Maybe an indirect approach would be a good idea, try to show them that you really care about them and you still love them, this way they'll understand that they're not the cause and you really don't blame them. But i think the best help would be just trying not to be sad in the first place :)
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2015 10:40pm
First make sure you do understand that your sadness is not their fault. If that is clear to you rest will be pretty much easy. If someone feels that your sadness is due to him/her, then it means he/she cares about you a lot and he/she feels that he/she is not able to make things right for you. Just sit down with him/her on one fine evening and let a free flow of chatting in between you two. Make him/her know about the situation and that he/she is completely aware of it. Then things will automatically turn right.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2015 3:19pm
I usually give them links to webpages or send them infographics about mood disorders. I tell them that it is not their fault - it is the fault of the chemicals in my brain. Contrary to what they think, they are the ones who are keeping me from feeling even sadder!
Anonymous
June 7th, 2015 9:24am
Just explain your situation as much as you can and repeatedly assure them that they have nothing to do with it
EnchantingNess74
November 3rd, 2015 8:17am
Explain to them clearly that's its not. Tell them the reasons why you;re sad then make them see that your;re sad for other reasons
Anonymous
January 11th, 2016 9:54pm
You just have to speak up. But maybe it is their fault. Who's to say? This world is full of rotten people and you are responsible for your own happiness. Tune in, freak out, get beaten. But most importantly, survive
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 11:31pm
Explain to them on full lengths on why exactly you're sad, they may be able to help too, so win, win.
OtakuTherapist707
July 10th, 2017 1:30am
You could have a conversation with that person so theres no misunderstandings.
Naviola
October 5th, 2020 9:07pm
If one is to be technical, sadness is a cycle of loss or lack. Where there is something missing, or you miss something or someone, or perhaps just apathy and emptiness. Where one feels like there should be more, that there could be more. Society says “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” and to “help yourself,” but how can anyone know how to begin? The world has existed long before I did, and will hopefully exist long after I pass. The way the world was when you arrived is out of your control, so you cannot blame yourself for how it is right now. The world, in a word, sucks. You are allowed to feel wronged. If you aren’t ready now, that is fine. If you need a minute, or a month, or your entire life, it is a good use of time to find yourself and reflect. As long as you are doing something, you are doing your best.