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How do I keep myself from getting to attached to people?

160 Answers
Last Updated: 03/05/2021 at 11:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
November 4th, 2017 2:00am
While forming bonds with others is part of the human experience, problems can arise when a person feels that one absolutely needs the other in order to be well. Work on being sufficient for yourself. There will be times when your own self will be your only companion, and in those times that companion must be enough. Understand yourself, comfort yourself, and above all, love yourself.
November 11th, 2017 2:42am
I guess the better question would be to ask yourself if you feel there is a line you want to draw with people and can you identify signs of when you feel you are getting too attached to people? Learning to appreciate oneself will enhance your ability to genuinely care about others. I feel that when I get attached to people, the warning sign is that I feel that these people can do no wrong and I will accept every decision under the moon, sun and stars. This, I know, isn't really how I wish to regard peoples' actions so, I take extra measures to ensure I spend time with others in my life, to diversify my perspective so that I don't get complacent in my relationship building and character building for myself.
March 30th, 2018 12:21pm
Try to reflect on what you have earned when you were with them. If they gave you anything else but hurt and blue, then you have to speak to yourself to stay strong and move on. Life is too short to hurt yourself continuously. In the beginning you might have problems facing that, but in the end doing the right never sends you to the wrong road.
April 7th, 2018 4:19am
I wouldn't be scared to open up to people, its just the people you open up to. I think you can probably find a perfectly good person to get attached to that won't hurt you.
April 13th, 2018 9:24pm
When you become emotionally attached to a person, you can feel like your life almost depends on them. The key is to break free from this mindset. Realizing your own self-worth and value is very important in building confidence. Emotional attachment can be a deep rooted insecurity; a fear of abandonment - you are dependent on someone, thinking you need that person. As someone who has experienced a lot of emotional attachment to different people in my life, here are some things I've learnt. -Be more cynical. This doesn't mean you shouldn't trust anyone, but putting too much trust in a person is unhealthy. -It's okay to do things by yourself; take this time for reflection and enjoy your own company (this doesn't mean you should do this all the time, however) -Explore the world, meet new people and new places. Seeing more people prevents the possibility of attachment. -And finally be proud of the life you lead, it's yours after all! Patience is required, as detaching yourself from someone can be hard.
April 15th, 2018 5:17am
I try to set healthy boundaries and remind myself that they are just a person. I only need me and that other person could leave, but boundaries are healthy.
April 29th, 2018 2:54am
When you have a problem, step one is to realise you do have that problem. In this case, a lot of internal work has to be done to gain independence from everyone, gaining more "ego" and self appreciation, which sadly is most times considered as something bad, but loving yourself, and putting yourself over others, is not bad unless you become selfish and greedy, which is different from being egoist and believing that you are the only thing that matters most, and the other things matter less (but still, matter). That, you will have to find out by yourself. Best of luck, and love, forgive and help everybody, INCLUDING YOU the most.
June 20th, 2018 10:38pm
Is it really such a bad thing to get attached to people? If you've had your trust or something similar broken by someone close to you then it can feel easiest to never get close to anyone again, but that is not a healthy lifestyle, so try and work on building whatever was broken back up again.
July 26th, 2018 8:08pm
This is a really important question! I think the answer falls down to boundaries. It is important to decide the type of people you can go to and safely feel vulnerable with, comfortably being able to be who you are and feel the way you are. You also have to decide what information is shareable with the given people. It is okay to have strong bonds but you want them with the right people and to have set boundaries.
April 4th, 2019 1:02pm
Having been through several similar situations before, i realised that people are kind of meant to be attached to things as well as other people. When that moment comes when you are ready to open your wings and finally free yourself from whatever is holding you down, you suddenly come to understand that being interdependent is the key to feeling free. You can always make allies and work together with people to power up and produce amazing results and atcthe same time feel completely fine by being on your own two feet 😊 Loving yourself and allowing yourself to be loved and receive love is one of the steps one can take to release blockages in their relationship with other people as well as being undefeated by any negative approach. Love yourself like there is no tomorrow 🤗 and you will be rewarded by never letting yourself be attached to anything or anyone since you will realise you do not need such relationships when you have the best friend - yourself - 🌸
August 17th, 2019 5:44am
To keep yourself from getting attached to people you can make sure you have different people in your life that all offer you something different. That way you do not rely on just one person as that way end up getting attached to them to help and support you with everything you need or want in life. So share how you feel with people not even but just those that are close to you and you feel safe talking to. This way you do not have to rely on just one person to solve your problems and issues. That is why it is good to have different people in your lives.
July 28th, 2016 11:36pm
I don't think getting attached is a bad thing. It' healthy to have deep, human relationships and connections. It unhealthy to shut everyone out and it makes your problems worse than they were before. Accept love into your life. You deserve that
September 1st, 2016 8:38am
I will always remember I am here only to help other people
September 18th, 2016 3:16am
I answer there questions as neutral as possible. If I feel like the conversation is getting out of context, I will suggest another listener.
September 21st, 2016 1:38am
Try not to visualize life together as much as possible. Keep your mind occupied through various hobbies.
September 23rd, 2016 9:07am
It isnt wrong getting attached to people just stop expecting the same from them. Through this you wont hurt yourself that much
October 10th, 2016 5:51pm
It seems you do not wish to form an emotional attachment to people. However, human interaction and attachments are part of what make us human and are necessary to keep up healthy emotional and social wellbeing. I cannot offer advice on this subject, however perhaps think about the reasons you wish to not be attatched to people firstly.
October 23rd, 2016 10:54am
That is a hard question, but i think i may be of your help. when you meet someone just don't expect to become best friends. try to think of it as mutual friends. not really close friends but still friends. also have you own best friend, the one peron you can talk to. have them be your attachable person.
October 27th, 2016 7:48pm
You shouldn't have to think about that. Being attached is not a bad thing at all. It's part of being human.
November 17th, 2016 4:19am
Honestly from personal experience I think it's difficult to advoid being attached whether in a serious way or a none committal way. What's more important, is the types of attachements you form with people and even more important the type of person you attach yourself to. Avoiding attachments that make you feel less of you.
December 10th, 2016 4:16am
There is a difference between becoming attached to people and overly attached, or too attached too quickly. Merely a matter of equivalence. What you are giving in accordance to what they are. An imbalance is not particularly healthy.
January 1st, 2017 4:30am
There's nothing wrong about getting close to a lot of people, but a lot of people try to distance themselves somewhat in order to 'keep their heart off their sleeve' and make sure they don't get heartbroken. The best way to make sure you aren't 'hugging' everyone super close all the time is to nicely, calmly, and cautiously meet them. Once you trust them it's not a big deal, but until you know the kind of person they are... Just make sure you're cautious. And hey, sometimes people are deceiving. You're not the one to blame if you got attached and got hurt because of it.
January 4th, 2017 6:59pm
Attachment is normal. It's a mechanism of survival, but it can certainly be frustrating to become attached to people who may not be good for us. Setting up boundaries early on in any relationship or encounter with someone can help you keep from getting caught up in the emotions. I would look to someone who knows a lot on the subject and try to learn about healthy boundaries with others.
February 26th, 2017 3:21pm
I'm not sure. Perhaps just keep in mind that we all have some attachment to each other and the world, and that there is no need to feel overly attached to someone in particular until you get close to them. If you focus on something else, while dealing with the reason you are getting attached too quickly or closely, that may help too. Also, don't assume that thing attached is a bad thing. If we were not attached to people we would not have any loyalty.
April 5th, 2017 5:13am
You could space yourself away from them, don't tell them everything. Be civil and try to keep personal things to yourself.
April 9th, 2017 3:17pm
Maybe by setting boundaries and limitations. Being objective and goal oriented rather being open emotionally
April 15th, 2017 6:16am
How do you know this person? Are they a friend, a relative, or an associate? Think about your own relationship with this person and how you know one another. Is this a person you know anything about? Consider your own thoughts and feelings, while keeping theirs in mind as well as to where you both stand in your personal relationship.
- Expert in Depression
June 9th, 2017 3:31am
Hmm you dont, and you can't. I tried actually. I am so easily attached to people, but when I tried to distant myself from people so I wont get too attach, and I just end up pushing people away. I mean, for me personally, I don't know how to not get attach and not pushing people away at the same time. Getting attach to me is not what you wanted to do or not, it is natural, it just happened so I just let it be.
July 5th, 2017 8:36pm
Getting too attached to people is because you rely on them and need them for things, that maybe you can't find in yourself; or if you can't help yourself and rely on them to help you. That's not right, no matter how much you love that person, it's always the best that you rely on yourself and know yourself to the point, when you don't search for help in others, because you'be got in yourself.
July 21st, 2017 11:47am
Atachment is a way of life. Everyone becomes atached to someone. The only way to avoid it is to avoid people or just dont talk to other people.