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How do I reduce my self-harm if I have tried everything

25 Answers
Last Updated: 12/24/2018 at 6:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
March 14th, 2015 9:27am
have you tried the box? Not many people know about the box theory.. Myself and many others have actually completely stopped self harm because of this. the box is where you get any box and you put your blades at the bottom of the box wrapped in tissue or paper, on top of that you put any photos that make you happy, or band posters or pictures. then on top of that put any chocolate or sweets that make you happy, then write little notes saying please dont do it, youre beautiful perfect ect.. just nice stuff to help, then find any thing and everything that make you happy or smile or laugh in the box so when you get the urge you look through the box all of it.. that way you wont reach the blade because the urge will be gone. please refill each time you run low, and please try this! it could really help!
January 26th, 2015 8:07am
Try snapping a rubber band on your wrist or ice cubes as alternatives. Make a comfort box. Play a video game or read a book when you feel urges.
January 24th, 2015 6:52am
It's really hard. I can't give a sure way to stop. I have to distract myself.. I crave harming even if it's been a good while. I keep myself busy. but also remember if you do relapse that's not failure, just keep retrying. and one day maybe you'll get lucky and it will be your last.
February 19th, 2015 1:57am
Take a few moments to review the things that you've tried, and try to figure out why they didn't work. Did you really commit to them? How long did you try a given coping mechanism? What support did you lack when you tried the first time, and what support would you need if you were to try again? I would also recommend speaking with a licensed medical professional regarding other methods of treatment, including medications.
April 4th, 2015 8:55am
I've had difficulty in the past with the coping techniques, they just don't work for me. What works for me is finding something you really want, setting a date and saying that if you don't harm yourself and manage to stay clean to that date that you get what you want.
April 12th, 2015 3:27am
Reducing self harm is a battle I still am not perfect at. The methods you might use vary from person to person, but the concept remains the same through each case; you need to find a way to release the emotions you feel in a similar way. For anger, you must find something which releases it as well as self harm whether it's taking up running or some other sport, painting things red and black until you calm down, or hitting a punching bag while screaming, it needs to tale care of the emotion. Find the emotions which trigger you to cut, and think about ways you would release that emotion in a healthy way. Hope that helps.
April 24th, 2015 7:44pm
You need to increase your self esteem and happiness, by changing your life way of living and solve what does bother u
May 8th, 2015 4:45pm
Think of yourself as an art piece. By self harming, you are harming a piece of art. You want to be a Picasso.
May 22nd, 2015 4:08pm
Speak to someone. Finding myself alone with no one to talk to just made me feel isolated during my darkest times, and speaking to someone that has been through the same can really give you a new perspective on any problems you may have
May 29th, 2015 3:41am
In order to reduce self-harm try reframing your thinking by thinking positive more often and asking helpful questions to yourself such as if I self-harm today how will I feel after and the next day? What are some positive things I could do for myself that sustains a healthier lifestyle? Reducing self-harm requires determination and perseverance which you can develop by giving your negative thoughts less of a dominating force over your mind and replacing them with positive thoughts. In all honesty, negative thoughts are unavoidable and they are a normal part of life. If I self-harm today how will my loved ones feel? That is a fundamental question to ask yourself as well. Self-harm can be quite detrimental to your health both short term and long term therefore thinking before you act is something to live by. Even if there are triggering events in your life or situations that make you upset don't pin the blame on yourself change your mindset.
July 6th, 2015 12:59pm
Everyone needs to love and be loved. The Bible is the great instruction manual on love and relationships—relationships with God and with people. Many children grow up experiencing very little unconditional love, respect and affirmation. As a result, many people feel empty, unlovable and worthless. Self-harm is often linked to intense feelings of self-hatred. Such inner torment is at the crux of self-injury. To conquer that self-hatred, one desperately needs God's kind of love. Jesus said the second great summary commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). Yes, God commands us to have a proper love for ourselves! Many Christians are taught, "Oh, you should never love yourself!" But that is not what God says. God created you, loves you and has great plans for your future. The conclusion? God wants you to love Him more than anyone. Secondly, He wants you to love all people, including yourself. ~
August 18th, 2015 8:18am
be patient with yourself, every hour, week, day you don't self harm is an accomplishment. relapse is just a bump in the road and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself for coming as far as you have.
September 1st, 2015 11:01pm
I can suggest taking a cold shower whenever you feel like self harming, It'll reduce your urge to cut.
December 1st, 2015 1:11pm
Try to figure out what triggers you to self harm,Have you spoken to anyone before about this ,for example a doctor
December 7th, 2015 3:51pm
Find close friends or family members to talk to about it. Whenever you feel the urge to self-harm, talk to one of those trusted people. Stay strong!
February 8th, 2016 7:22pm
It is an option to wear some small wristband every day and night. When you really feel like self-harming and don't know any other option you are cutting it off.
April 11th, 2016 3:58pm
Find the cause! Find people to help you! Eliminate the cause together! It is always helpful to talk :)
May 31st, 2016 5:06pm
If you have tried everything you can reduce it if you really want to by staying postive if you want to cut think to your self do I really want more scars question your actions.
June 21st, 2016 6:38am
You can try reducing your self-harm by trying different tactics to mimic self-harm. Using an ice cube can induce pain and drawing on where you'd like to harm will also help.
June 28th, 2016 6:58am
I put the knife to my skin (like i'm going to self-harm but instead i) and then i just apply pressure instead of actually doing it.
September 5th, 2016 7:23am
Gripping on an ice cube helps greatly as it gives a numbing feeling similar to that of self harm. Rubber bands snapped against the wrist also work.
May 15th, 2017 9:36pm
Try seeking help from a counselor. Do not lose hope. Try making drawing with red pen over the area where you feel like you want to hurt yourself.Be around others when you feel overly anxious and overwhelmed. If you're overwhelmed by people then take a hot water bath.Have some compassion for yourself. Do not resist taking help if you feel lost. Take care.❤
June 5th, 2017 12:37pm
Personally, I was able to stop self harming in a few steps. I used a rubber band for awhile, then started drawing on myself instead. Being able to create something on myself really made me appreciate my body more, and relieved the built up tension.
February 27th, 2018 2:04am
Just focus on the postives of your life the people who love you and how they feel it hurts everyone and people care
December 24th, 2018 6:05pm
First thing to do is find the root cause of self harm. You harm yourself when you are angry?or when you are sad? Or may be when you feel lonely. After observing the pattern and root cause you can try to eliminate the root cause or try to distract yourself like if you self harm when you are angry try to count backwards or play some game, talk to someone or sleep. Whenever you get this strong urge to harm recall that you love yourself and so you should not be harming yourself. You can try expressing your emotions through art or writing or may be talk to someone.