How do I stop being judgemental?
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 12:18pm
Andrea Tuck, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.
Top Rated Answers
it's great that you recognized that trait in yourself! catching yourself being judgmental is a great first step; recognize when you're acting judgmental and stop your thoughts right there. ask yourself if it's possible that the person had a bad day, is struggling with something, doesn't have the same life experience you may have, and be empathetic. seek to understand where people are coming from, to learn more about them, before passing judgment. this becomes easier with time and practice. best of luck!
Passing judgement is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's in our human nature and it's a very hard habit to break sometimes. Just being here and asking these types of questions shows that you're on a great path towards change though! A few easy ways to start breaking the cycle is to simply try and put yourself in another's shoes...truly talk with someone and listen carefully about their story and try not to pass judgement. Focus instead on that person and how strong of a journey they've overcome instead of whatever judgments you might have previously made. Read books that focus on people and places that are vastly different than your ow. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen or Homeless shelter. There is nothing more humbling than seeing others who need love and kindness. Hear their stories and offer them true support and a listening ear. When we begin seeing others as they are...as fellow human beings on this journey that we call life and not as competitors and not as people that we are to compare ourselves against that is when change occurs and that is when you'll start seeing yourself in a wonderfully different light as well.
It's important to understand and acknowledge that everyone has different beliefs and opinions, so to promote harmony amongst each other we must respect our differences even if we don't share the same point of view.
It's difficult to stop being judgmental. If you find yourself judging someone, try to push that judgment aside and make a clean slate about the person in your mind. Remind yourself that there are things about them that you don't know about.
This is not easy since all of us have opinions and judgments. Step 1: When someone is talking you actively listen. Do not start formulating an opinion while they are talking. Instead listen to them fully before you take a stance on the matter. Step 2: If you do not agree with someone try to understand their reason for having a differing opinion with an open mind. Not being judgemental will require you to consciously make a decision every time you are interacting with someone. But the mere fact that you are reading this means that you have taken step one towards not being judemental and that is the right way to be going.
To stop being judgmental we can use following steps. 1. We have to put our self in others shoes, so that we understand their situation and stop being judgemental. 2. Think that we don't need to care much about others attitude and behavior . They will take care of that. 3. If you find others mistake, for one time try to act as their lawyer (i.e,) try to defend that mistake. When your mind starts judgments stop your thinking about it and start to defend that person. It will be fun too. 4. Accept Everyone with love and compassion. Because, Everyone deserve it.
Just imagine yourself in other's shoes, and try to see what you would do at their place. Sometimes its hard to do so, but i think it can help you to being more opened sometimes to some situations.
Be “naive”… This might sound strange because the word is almost never used in a positive context. Most people will always do what they believe is the best thing to do. This doesn’t always mean is will provide the best possible outcome and someone his or her opinion might sound very alien to you. Try to accept that everyone of us has started with an empty book at birth and we’ve been filling that book with our memories, experiences, plans for the future, etc. Our environment, social connections we’ve had through our life have been a source of influence for anyone of us. No two people live the same life so as a result your “book of life” will be very different from that of another person. You might have different values, different goals and a different technique to realise those goals. Accept that another person be living his or her life, guided by their own rules. Their book of life will be different but it doesn’t make it less “true” for them. We all have a perception of life and we can assume that nobody on earth has found “the one true path”. A simple trick to make you non judgemental is to (mentally) step into the shoes of any person who has a different opinion or displays a behaviour you find annoying. If you can see yourself through that persons eyes then you’ll notice that your book is invalid from that perspective and it’s a mutual problem. You probably want that person to accept your book of life and with that knowledge you might see that the only way to have mutual understanding is to accept the differences between the both of you. This also works with opinions related to groups of people, theological ideas, philosophy’s, etc…
Try to think about how would you feel in that person shoes. It is hard to judge when you are trying to understand why a person is doing something. Think about all those movie characters that you judged and in the end, you saw their part of story and saw that they were actually good. In their own way.
Think of yourself, or someone you love in the situation that person is in, and imagine how you would feel.
How do you stop being judgmental... Okay let's look at it this way. You live a life you did not create, you have a creator who isn't judgemental at all. So why you a mere human be judgmental. Open up your mind that people have faults and no one is ever going to be perfect just close to perfect but remember Not Perfect.
Nobody is perfect, keep that in mind. Everytime you start judging someone just remember that everyone is fighting their own battles; sometimes, it's easy to judge people we don't know because we only see a certain part of them, but we don't really know what they're going through, it could be anything. And if it's someone you know, just try you put yourself in their place, and try to see things like they do, try to get their point of view. Empathy is key.
Stop seeing others as random people, imagine that is yourself, treat others with emotions and care. Everyone has their own story.
Listen, don't make comments of personal opinion. Be open minded and empathetic. Don't push your own opinions and beliefs on who has reached out to you as a listener.
Consider that there are many types of people in this world with many possibly differing opinions and ideas depending on their culture, the environment they live in, how they were brought up, etc. No single opinion or idea is necessarily the best or most correct. It is not our right to judge others on things such as these. What we could do is to develop an open mind and an accepting heart, and to always be kind to others.
Imagine how you would feel if you could hear all the judgements people said about you? The less you heard the better you would feel. So focus on saying less in your own head.
Remember that we are all flawed human beings and if you judge another then it's not the end of the world, just accept that's what you've done and if you feel you have treated that person or thing harshly make an effort not to do so again. There's no good in beating yourself up over it. Simply be more aware of what you are doing and in time you will find yourself negatively judging less and less however judgement on its own merit isn't a bad thing because it lets us weight up a person, place or thing. It's when there is a negative connotation placed upon it that it can be unhealthy. I hope that helps.
This is a difficult one. But when you find yourself thinking those thoughts are a situation or a person, actively stop yourself from thinking like that and saying those things. Eventually it will become normal for you to not think in that way. Just watch out for your thoughts and replace the judgemental ones with something genuinely nice about the situation. Find the positive.
A good way of trying not to be judgemental is putting yourself in the shoes of the other person, try to see it from another perspective, try to see behind the surface, what could be the reason for a certain behaviour.
Figure out what you're judging people or yourself for and why. If you find the root cause of why you're judging people, then you can work to consciously prevent yourself from judging.
Just try to inculcate the belief that not everyone is the same. There are all kinds of people in this world. Think how boring it would be if everyone had the same personalities or if everyone would talk, think, act like you. Its also important to ignore the minor bad qualities that people have and focus on the good ones bcoz no one is perfect. Slowly, it will form a habit if you wire your brain to think this way. Appreciate the unique personalities of everyone around you.
Judging someone based on race, color, gender, appearance, looks or the class they belong to, is actually a reflection of our inner self. When we call someone ugly, it doesn't mean the person who you pointed your finger is ugly. It is you and your inner self which cannot help but having insecurities about your own look is the culprit. So, we can we literally overcome this? Well, to stop being judgmental at all, we should stop paying too much attention on materialistic and physically visible materials at all. In contrast, we should try to appreciate the other peoples' whatsoever appearance, look, or color, with love. I hope this can stop yourself from being judgmental.
Take a moment to realize what you're doing and how it may affect other people's lives. Being judgemental will not only impact others, but negatively affect yourself as well. It's not too late to change. Starting opening up to others and accepting everyone within the community. Surround yourself with people who accept you as well. Realize how you can positively interact with others and expand your relationships based on the people you meet. Understand why everyone says certain things or acts a certain way. You never know what he or she may be going through. Be the bigger person and make others realize the same mistake!
You just need to learn to let things go, possible try and rethink why you need to feel judgemental, if you feel like there is no need to just take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. Even ask yourself, " does this really bother me?" "why am i seeking energy to judge someone?" It is very easy to judge, so taking the time to re-evaluate the situation has always helped me. Giving that few seconds will make a difference and keep you unbothered about the smallest things, such as judging someone on what ever it may be. :)
I think judgement comes from a lot of places. We are all humans, and we all make mistakes and come from different backgrounds. For me, I try my hardest to put myself or a loved one in their shoes. How would I want others to react to them? What would they need from others or myself? I have to ignore what my upbringing or society says sometimes to do this. Life is so different for everybody, and I am not sure how others stop from being judgemental. We are here with you through the journey. Thank you for reaching out.
By always putting myself in their shoes. I am a black woman and we are looked down on and judged so much, I said that I would not make others feel the way that I did when people would judge me before knowing me.
It's normal for people to be judgmental. So, we can't really stop being it. And also, maybe you're not judgmental, you're just thinking that you're one.
By always coming in first. Always self reflect onto you first when having the thoughts associated with judgement towards other person. No one is perfect and we tend to judge based on what we feel at that moment. Often times people act like mirrors, so maybe next time when you meet someone that makes you feel uncomfortable, ask yourself. What is showing up in that person that makes me feel this way? It may be the same issue that you are experiencing.
Think about how you would feel if someone made the same judgments on you that you were casting on others. always try to treat others how you want to be treated.
i would try to see the problem from the speaker point of view as if i was in her/his shoes to understand the situation better
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