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How do I stop being judgemental?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 11/29/2021 at 5:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 12:18pm
I've heard this saying that the first thought we think is what society has engraved in us, and the second thought is how we truly feel. If you ever feel yourself being judgemental towards someone, think of how you would feel if someone was doing that to you. Also think about the person you're judging and how you might know them, their story or why they are or reacting the way they are. Poeple are complex, and even with people we think we absolutely know well, there are many layers we haven't seen. So be compasionate to others but also to yourself. Just because the first thought you think is judgy, you can still stop yourself and establish your own narrative.
WarmEmpathicListener
May 1st, 2021 9:00am
Recognition is the first step. When you feel that you're being judgemental,stop and think about it for a moment, and realise that what you are doing might be wrong (or not). Based on that, you can then quickly stop that thought and think the other way around. This has helped me personally when I've been judgemental: simply recognising it and thinking that it's okay to be .... (whatever you're judging on). Another tip is to try to be in a better mood when talking to people, I often found myself being judgemental whenever I was in a bad mood. Good luck!
Anonymous
November 29th, 2021 5:59pm
For me, it took allot of time to learn to not be a judgmental person. I really had to stop and wonder what life has been like for this person and what led to there "them" to exhibit the attribute that I am judging. This hit hard and heavy when I was in middle school. There was a boy in my class, he was smaller than the other kids, always wore dark clothes, had really dark greasy hair, and spoke in a weird accent. The kids in my class, sometimes even myself would mistreat this child. We would pick on everything from his clothes, his food (or lack thereof), to the way he spoke and acted. Often there were time when he was willing to clean the tables after the class ate, two students are always assigned but volunteers can go instead. One day I was set to clean the tables and he volunteered in place of another student. I witnessed him scarf leftover food and take unopened food in his pocket. I was not a bright kid then, but I truly wondered why did he need to sneak food off the table? I don't remember how long after that but he did not show up to class for days. And eventually he did. He looked cleaner but still the sad skinny kid of the class. As usual no one paid him any attention, including the teacher. I tried a few times to talk with him but he seemed scared and did not seem to know how to engage. Everyday I would try to get to know but with no luck and the insults of other students that would berate me for trying. Timeskip, I never saw this young man again. But I am positive that he was neglected and abused as a child. He was blamed for things outside of his control. His support system had failed and we as a class failed him and caused more harm. I wish that upon no one. So I try my best not to judge a person un less I know them personally