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How do I stop being judgemental?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 11/29/2021 at 5:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 6:28am
First off, kudos to you for wanting to work on this part of yourself. Being more accepting of others is a great thing, and something we need more of today. Maybe you could try some things when you catch yourself being judgmental, such as putting yourself in the other person's shoes, or trying to look at their situation or whatever it may be from a different perspective.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2018 10:52pm
What are you most judgemental about? Only you can determine what is too judgemental. While sometimes being judgemental can be a bad thing it can also help you do it is up to you whether being judgemental can help you or hurt you.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 10:00pm
There is something called the fundamental attribution error (FAE) which says that people in general interpret behavior as due to personality or other internal factors more so than external factors like situation. So a person does something, like yells at a waiter. You can either attribute that to internal factors (the person is rude, the person is not nice, etc) or external factors (maybe the person had a bad day, maybe they got no sleep and is stressed, etc). We have a tendency to assume the first rather than the second. But often time, there are external factors too. So, think about that before you judge someone.
phosphenerelief
June 17th, 2018 5:26pm
To have opinions, thoughts and preconceptions about people is human nature - your schemas that your previous direction or media based experience will make an assumption whether you consciously intend to or not. But what you need to do it imagine people complexly, and not take your existing template as the truth. Be optimistic, get to know people and show them the same kindness that you hope people would show you.
wonderousApple40
June 20th, 2018 12:22am
Understand that everyone is different, and just because something is different from 'your way', that doesn't make it wrong.
royalBeauty10
June 23rd, 2018 10:24am
It's a human nature for us to be judgemental yes sometimes it isn't the the best for anyone involved but there's not a lot you can do
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 11:28pm
Surround yourself with people from different backgrounds to avoid being judgemental. talk to someone with an open mind.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2018 6:35am
Consider that everyone is different in their own way. Think hard about how you feel when somebody judges you, or even when you think someone is. Put yourself in the persons shoes.
kyah0105
June 27th, 2018 4:50pm
Remember that you would not like to be judged. I struggled with being judgemental for a while. before I realized that it is unfair to judge someone you know nothing about. Next time you judge someone, remind yourself that it isn't fair to the person on the receiving end.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 2:32pm
By simply just putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how it would feel being like them. Sometimes you will realize how people see things in this world
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 8:18pm
I try to see things from the person's perspectives and understand their feelings and needs behind their acts/words.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 12:24am
That is something that will take practice. Do you feel that being judgemental has affected you negatively?
Nuki6
July 4th, 2018 11:05am
Think about what would you do if you lived their lives,put yourself in their shoes and just know that there are so many things you don’t know about the person you’re judging
Rukou
July 4th, 2018 1:48pm
The best course of action would be to breathe, count to 10, then put yourself in the person’s shoes. Usually, when people say that, what they mean is to let yourself imagine you being that person. To imagine what they feel about themselves everyday. To imagine how they feel when they are judged likely based on something they can’t changed. Or are judged because of how they are. Just how would you feel in their shoes?
heavenDew42
July 7th, 2018 11:17am
Well I think you should understand the person first before judging them , put yourself in their shoes for a second.
bringmethehorizonn
July 7th, 2018 12:48pm
by accepting and understanding that everyone you meet is different, and loving the person for who they are.
Sunset04
July 12th, 2018 7:00pm
Learn to accept others how they are. Everybody is unique and no one is perfect. Sometimes it takes a bit to realize That, but once you do, you'll find that everybody should be treated equal while still containing their own qualities!
Charlie40
July 16th, 2018 6:28pm
Well, if you are wondering how to stop being judgmental, that is half the job done already: you seem aware of it and determined to change. Not that much can be said of many people on the planet… Second, it may help to know that being human, you do need to “assess”, constantly, that is what the brain does, we assess and recalibrate all the time, to adapt to our environment, to new problems, to figure out if people, things are safe, and the thing is that assessing and judging can sort of …blend accidentally. And before you know it, you passed judgment It can help thinking: ok, I have passed a “judgement” on A or B, how does it help me? does it close doors or open them? do I need them closed or open? and wonder how the assessment/judgment you passed helps you deep down or not. Third, one thing that greatly helped me to stop being judgmental was to turn an assessment I had just made on its head: say for example, I saw someone who was grumpy on the road, and I think “oh, what a miserable so and so”, then I think, ok, let’s say that I got the wrong end of the stick, that the truth is, actually, this grumpy person is the sweetest person alive, what could make him/her grumpy with me like that? then I come up with reasons that are possible: their knee has been hurting for three days and they haven’t slept. …or, a difficult relative is coming to town and the weekend will be exhausting, or… their best friend is in hospital and they are worried sick and in a hurry to see them. If I can’t dismiss any of those possible reasons as not plausible, it calms me down. And fourth… you could volunteer as a listener here! the aim of all listeners is to completely remove judgment from their approach, and you’d be surprised, first that it is a conscious effort often, you’d be surprised what a relief it brings to the listener to remove judgement, when you can empathise with someone anonymously, because your task is not not judge. We all learn to be less and less judgemental, it is a life task, and every step you take towards it feels like a liberation. Then for the groups or people you find really hard not to judge, well, it may come as a relief to know that it is a skill, not something you are born with, and it takes some hard work sometimes. I struggle especially with not judging certain… political figures in my country, and try to think they must have really lost their way big time. So i stop judging them (not easy, i grant you!), but assess their actions and how it affects people instead. In any case, you are half way there! keep going!
yourenotalonedear
July 18th, 2018 8:33pm
By putting yourself into their shoes. Think what if you were in their place. It would help you understand their situation better.
miraculousBeach10
July 19th, 2018 5:10am
I will not base your character on what you’ve done, your regrets and how you manage yourself as a human being.
AmethystUnicorn
July 19th, 2018 5:52pm
The best way I have found to not be judgemental is putting yourself in someone else's shoes! Imagine how it would feel to be them, how it would feel to be judged for whatever the situation may be!
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 2:14pm
imagine how you feel being judged by other people and try to not do it to others but its would make them feel how you would feel
Graceandworry
July 22nd, 2018 9:22pm
If you just think of how it would affect other people, it is easy to realize how harmful it can be, and you don’t want to be the one to put someone in a situation that would make them uncomfortable
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:22am
The best way is to not say anything that is not nice. The whole do unto others as you want done to you. So don't say anything to anyone else that you might find hurtful or offensive.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2018 2:24pm
Being judgemental can be challenging because it cannot allow people to love you for your person, but for the thoughts and criticism you have of others. You also have a hard time focusing on yourself because you focus more on others and how they live their lives, because of this you are automatically you are making less progress on yourself and not working on your own flaws and your own feelings and emotions as much as you could. Because this is what we are supposed to do, we are supposed to advance, evolve, learn more about ourselves as human beings. To stop being judgemental you have to start recenter your perspective more on yourself and your own life, learn to be and have a more positive outlook on people and life. It isn't judgemental if you train your brain to only have good and friendly thoughts about others. Become more altruistic instead of judgemental, realize we are never perfect to mother earth, we are born and brought up equally as human beings as much as we have our differences physically, financially, socially. You have to learn to look beyond that, to find peace with yourself and your own person and what you want to become and how you want to live and find happiness in your life, in order to do that you'll automatically want to have less judgement on others because your judgement is taking energy from you subconciously and it can make you feel very negative depending on the situations. So start living for yourself, do you just like everyone else does themselves, there isn't a particular way one should do anything. Simplify all your thoughts and try to just focus on yourself and live life fully! =)
Nichole121002
August 2nd, 2018 8:42pm
Come to realize that everyone is different. Just because people do things differently than you doesn't make them any less of a person...Respect people's differences❤
Positivityiskeyalways
August 3rd, 2018 1:48am
It is natural to judge people, we all do it but if you’re doing it constantly in a negative manner then maybe you should put yourself in that persons shoes and imagine how you’d feel if you wasn’t them. You don’t know what other peoples life circumstances are and what they’re going through so try being positive rather than thinking you’re better than others.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 5:14pm
Try to treat everyone the way you would like to be treated and put yourself in other people's shoes.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2018 1:57pm
Put yourself is that other person shoe. if that was you then you wouldn't want others laughing so maybe you shouldn't do the same
heavenLake94
April 23rd, 2020 6:48am
We judge without understanding. Without understanding what that person is going through or what they have overcome. We need to learn to accept that some people are fighting their battles and we should not judge them based on the face value of it. We judge people at the very first look at them and that changes into our opinion about them. Accept that every person is different in their own way and no two people can be the same. This will certainly affect how people perceive you too. Judgements block our way of thinking and and once we form judgements, we find difficult to change our opinions which might create a barrier in getting to know people.