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How do I stop being judgemental?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 12:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 28th, 2016 2:02pm
you could think about how the other person feels during the conversation and how they trust you enough to tell you something that society could judge. and you have to be supportive towards them as they are seeking your help.
Peaches36
October 29th, 2016 3:40pm
Keep yourself in that persons shoes and try just try and think from their perspective..things will automatically fall in place
colorfulWhisper36
November 2nd, 2016 3:51am
I look at everything not just the small picture. You gotta look at the good and bad with a open mind and explore all aspect's
starrySunshine87
November 5th, 2016 3:26am
Remind yourself that we all make mistakes. No is perfect. When you start to find yourself judging, ask yourself how you would feel if someone said that to you.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2016 12:48am
I know that for me putting myself in the persons shoes really helps. Think about how they may not be able to help it.
keera4299
November 9th, 2016 6:58am
When you stop having certain expectations and standards, and truly start to be grateful for everything you have, you won't be so judgmental. Also, don't judge someone until you understand where they come from, and why they are the way they are or do the things they do. Everyone has their own battles that nobody knows about.
TrendingUpwards
December 2nd, 2016 9:14pm
As cheesy and outdated as it is, 'treat others as you wish to be treated' really is a fabulous saying. Would you want people to be judgemental of you before they really knew you? Probably not. Would you want them to judge you on your appearance before they've even heard you speak? No. So put yourself in their shoes. Everyone is trying their best, and everyone wants to be liked. It is hard to do this when you are judging them. Be kind, caring to others and you will get the same in return. If you find yourself becoming judgemental just remind yourself 'hey, I wouldn't want people judging me like this' give that person a chance, they may just be the coolest person you've ever met.
Matchschtick
December 9th, 2016 7:23pm
It is one of the things we do all the time without being aware of it most of the time. However, one should always understand that every person has his or her own past and experiences. There is most certainly a reason that that person didn't say hello to you at the pub or didn't want to go to the movies. Once you start being empathetic to the little things in other people's lifes, you will become less judgemental. At least that'w my experience.
WaywardRose4309
December 18th, 2016 1:23pm
Firstly, realize that people are people and that we all have our own unique knacks. We all wish for something and have learned to deal with situations differently. There is no perfect model for a perfect life and we all try to make the best of a situation with resources available. Secondly, there's always more to what meets the eye and so don't be such a harsh judge, Thirdly, we all make mistakes and so have you. And none of us wishes to be judged by our flaws or mistakes, but rather be judged by our best traits.
friendlyPerspective32
January 5th, 2017 2:46am
Perhaps it might help for you to relate to their feelings and try to understand where they are coming from. If you really think about it, we're not that much different from everyone else. As humans, we may feel the same types of emotions, and have similar needs (e.g. affection, attention).
Gemma8483
January 13th, 2017 10:51pm
It's human nature to judge people from the get go, which is unfortunate but you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You can practice being non-judgemental by being aware of yourself. When interacting with others, try to practice mindfulness and empathy. If you notice yourself feeling negative about someone, just gently remind yourself that people are complex, and that any one action or trait they display doesn't define their overall character. Maybe try to think of some reasons why you might act the same way under certain circumstances. For example, maybe someone was rude or impatient because they've just had a break up or lost their job! It's also important to remind yourself that there isn't really a right way to be. Your own moral coding won't align with my moral coding and that's okay: you can't expect people not to be themselves. Once you accept that people won't often meet all your expectations, you can let go of those expectations, and view people complexly with an open mind, so that when you do make a judgement, it will not be so black and white.
avanef
January 25th, 2017 3:18pm
You accept people for who they are. They aren't going to be like you or how you want them to be, and you just need to accept them for that. You need to know that not everyone will be the way you want them to be and you can't change them and you can determine if you want them in your life or not, but learn to understand and accept them as who they are.
Anonymous
January 26th, 2017 1:39pm
Try to put myself in the other person's shoes, and remember that differences between people make their experiences of the world different. There is no universal "right" experience.
TheSentientApe
February 1st, 2017 4:17pm
Ask yourself why you feel the need to assign a value to something you have observed in another person. Ask yourself, "is this a fair evaluation to place upon this person? Is there an understandable reason why they may be doing this or that?" Challenge your own ability to empathize.
moitrois713
February 5th, 2017 3:42am
Every single time you mentally pass a comment about someone, stop and ask yourself why it should matter. And try putting yourself in their shoes. Immediately think "If I had that same 'problem', would the people who love me right now stop loving me? Would anyone I care about hate me for that particular reason?" If your answer is No, then whatever you thought was completely unnecessary. And you /should/ feel a little silly. And if you make this a practice, there's a good chance you'll be a lot less judgemental soon.
RainbowAtHeart
February 8th, 2017 4:16am
I found that looking for the good in someone after thinking something bad about them helped me to see the good first.
vriska44
February 15th, 2017 9:55pm
By remembering that you don't have the right to judge. Just because something is different doesn't mean you're worthy to place judgement.
comfortingSalamander27
February 22nd, 2017 12:58pm
Think about life moments in which you have found yourself experiencing something you had never expected to live/feel. Perhaps infidelity, or being rude with someone you love, or suddenly reject something you used to love. Life is challenging, don't be sure you would never do/feel/think the experience the member is talking about
ChloeKoala
March 3rd, 2017 10:15pm
Try to understand that everybody has a past which has lead them to their present self. They might have had a really hard time and acting the way they do now is a coping mechanism. Or their behaviour has changed through no fault of their own. Your own happiness does not come from judging other people. Try focussing on yourself and how to see things differently from their point of view. We don't like to be judged ourselves so it's important to remember judging other people will hurt their feelings just as much.
AndyDufresne1994
March 3rd, 2017 10:43pm
Oh this one hits a nerve. I never realized I WAS HORRIBLY JUDGEMENTAL. I had that whole "wow how can this person be so stupid, ignorant, poor etc?" going on and didn't even know it! I think you HAVE to keep it in the front of your mind. it takes work. When you meet someone STOP, clear your mind. Listen to them. Try to just take them in, without the judgement your mind might be making. Ask your self why they are the way they are. Try to see it from their point of view. When you stop putting labels all over people you open yourself up to meeting and enjoying so many new and exciting times!
Anonymous
March 4th, 2017 4:39pm
Try putting yourself in their shoe. Ask yourself if someone told me this or thought of me like how I am thinking thing of the person before me, wouldI like it? If the answer is no, then maybe you should not speak to them in that manner or refrain yourself to do so because everyone is fighting a battle you don't know about. Be kind. Always.
relieffromthestrees
March 8th, 2017 12:09pm
Many people know prejudice is wrong, but end up trapped in bigoted thought patterns. Wanting to change is good, as it's important to learn to value people from all walks of life. To start, work on altering your perspective. Learn about the roots of prejudiced thoughts and how you can become more aware of your preconceived notions about others. From there, try to change how you view others. Work on reminding yourself people are more alike than different. Lastly, take steps to expand your worldview. Travel to a far away place or get involved in your community.
bountifulLove96
March 15th, 2017 8:59am
There is no human being that does not judge. Willy or nilly we judge people or things everyday. But what we need to do is stop and reflect to ourselves and say 'wow wait a bit, why am I doing, I am not supposed to do this'. That is when you start being less judgemental
Melodyishere
March 17th, 2017 2:42am
A way to stop being judgmental is to try to understand the person. Maybe its just there personality or maybe they like that piece of clothing or maybe that's there favorite hobby. Everyone is different and you have to understand that.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2017 12:08pm
It could help to imagine being in the other person's shoes, for example if you usually resort into judgemental behavior towards gays, imagine being hated on for loving who you love
AnOpenHeart
March 23rd, 2017 9:01pm
Judgements are made because we have an idea of how things should be. It can help to listen, turn to wonder when you don't understand or when something is different than expected, ask questions, and try to find common ground.
Anonymous
March 24th, 2017 10:26am
Try to look at things from the other persons point of view. Never assume that you know everything going on in that persons life. You never know if they could be having battles of their own.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2017 4:14am
1.) try to see the situation from the other's point of view 2.) try to label the emotions you are hearing 3.) keep in mind that a problem you hear from someone may not be a big deal to you, but it is very real for that particular person--it is their reality.
CassisRose
March 31st, 2017 5:56am
Try putting yourself in other people's shoes. Try to empathize with the situation you are feeling judgemental about. It helps me to think of the issue as being connected with someone close to me. Would I still feel that way if it was my daughter? Or my best friend? My father?
magneticForest25
April 5th, 2017 1:45pm
Sometimes the way we react to things or the views we have on certain subjects is due to how we have been nurtured... However, what I tend to do is to try and put myself In that persons shoes and view their choices and actions from their perspective... We can never truly understand what a person is going through until we have experienced it ourselves x