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How do I stop being judgemental?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 11/29/2021 at 5:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 26th, 2018 6:35am
Consider that everyone is different in their own way. Think hard about how you feel when somebody judges you, or even when you think someone is. Put yourself in the persons shoes.
kyah0105
June 27th, 2018 4:50pm
Remember that you would not like to be judged. I struggled with being judgemental for a while. before I realized that it is unfair to judge someone you know nothing about. Next time you judge someone, remind yourself that it isn't fair to the person on the receiving end.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 2:32pm
By simply just putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how it would feel being like them. Sometimes you will realize how people see things in this world
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 8:18pm
I try to see things from the person's perspectives and understand their feelings and needs behind their acts/words.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 12:24am
That is something that will take practice. Do you feel that being judgemental has affected you negatively?
Nuki6
July 4th, 2018 11:05am
Think about what would you do if you lived their lives,put yourself in their shoes and just know that there are so many things you don’t know about the person you’re judging
Rukou
July 4th, 2018 1:48pm
The best course of action would be to breathe, count to 10, then put yourself in the person’s shoes. Usually, when people say that, what they mean is to let yourself imagine you being that person. To imagine what they feel about themselves everyday. To imagine how they feel when they are judged likely based on something they can’t changed. Or are judged because of how they are. Just how would you feel in their shoes?
heavenDew42
July 7th, 2018 11:17am
Well I think you should understand the person first before judging them , put yourself in their shoes for a second.
bringmethehorizonn
July 7th, 2018 12:48pm
by accepting and understanding that everyone you meet is different, and loving the person for who they are.
Sunset04
July 12th, 2018 7:00pm
Learn to accept others how they are. Everybody is unique and no one is perfect. Sometimes it takes a bit to realize That, but once you do, you'll find that everybody should be treated equal while still containing their own qualities!
Charlie40
July 16th, 2018 6:28pm
Well, if you are wondering how to stop being judgmental, that is half the job done already: you seem aware of it and determined to change. Not that much can be said of many people on the planet… Second, it may help to know that being human, you do need to “assess”, constantly, that is what the brain does, we assess and recalibrate all the time, to adapt to our environment, to new problems, to figure out if people, things are safe, and the thing is that assessing and judging can sort of …blend accidentally. And before you know it, you passed judgment It can help thinking: ok, I have passed a “judgement” on A or B, how does it help me? does it close doors or open them? do I need them closed or open? and wonder how the assessment/judgment you passed helps you deep down or not. Third, one thing that greatly helped me to stop being judgmental was to turn an assessment I had just made on its head: say for example, I saw someone who was grumpy on the road, and I think “oh, what a miserable so and so”, then I think, ok, let’s say that I got the wrong end of the stick, that the truth is, actually, this grumpy person is the sweetest person alive, what could make him/her grumpy with me like that? then I come up with reasons that are possible: their knee has been hurting for three days and they haven’t slept. …or, a difficult relative is coming to town and the weekend will be exhausting, or… their best friend is in hospital and they are worried sick and in a hurry to see them. If I can’t dismiss any of those possible reasons as not plausible, it calms me down. And fourth… you could volunteer as a listener here! the aim of all listeners is to completely remove judgment from their approach, and you’d be surprised, first that it is a conscious effort often, you’d be surprised what a relief it brings to the listener to remove judgement, when you can empathise with someone anonymously, because your task is not not judge. We all learn to be less and less judgemental, it is a life task, and every step you take towards it feels like a liberation. Then for the groups or people you find really hard not to judge, well, it may come as a relief to know that it is a skill, not something you are born with, and it takes some hard work sometimes. I struggle especially with not judging certain… political figures in my country, and try to think they must have really lost their way big time. So i stop judging them (not easy, i grant you!), but assess their actions and how it affects people instead. In any case, you are half way there! keep going!
yourenotalonedear
July 18th, 2018 8:33pm
By putting yourself into their shoes. Think what if you were in their place. It would help you understand their situation better.
miraculousBeach10
July 19th, 2018 5:10am
I will not base your character on what you’ve done, your regrets and how you manage yourself as a human being.
AmethystUnicorn
July 19th, 2018 5:52pm
The best way I have found to not be judgemental is putting yourself in someone else's shoes! Imagine how it would feel to be them, how it would feel to be judged for whatever the situation may be!
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 2:14pm
imagine how you feel being judged by other people and try to not do it to others but its would make them feel how you would feel
Graceandworry
July 22nd, 2018 9:22pm
If you just think of how it would affect other people, it is easy to realize how harmful it can be, and you don’t want to be the one to put someone in a situation that would make them uncomfortable
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:22am
The best way is to not say anything that is not nice. The whole do unto others as you want done to you. So don't say anything to anyone else that you might find hurtful or offensive.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2018 2:24pm
Being judgemental can be challenging because it cannot allow people to love you for your person, but for the thoughts and criticism you have of others. You also have a hard time focusing on yourself because you focus more on others and how they live their lives, because of this you are automatically you are making less progress on yourself and not working on your own flaws and your own feelings and emotions as much as you could. Because this is what we are supposed to do, we are supposed to advance, evolve, learn more about ourselves as human beings. To stop being judgemental you have to start recenter your perspective more on yourself and your own life, learn to be and have a more positive outlook on people and life. It isn't judgemental if you train your brain to only have good and friendly thoughts about others. Become more altruistic instead of judgemental, realize we are never perfect to mother earth, we are born and brought up equally as human beings as much as we have our differences physically, financially, socially. You have to learn to look beyond that, to find peace with yourself and your own person and what you want to become and how you want to live and find happiness in your life, in order to do that you'll automatically want to have less judgement on others because your judgement is taking energy from you subconciously and it can make you feel very negative depending on the situations. So start living for yourself, do you just like everyone else does themselves, there isn't a particular way one should do anything. Simplify all your thoughts and try to just focus on yourself and live life fully! =)
Nichole121002
August 2nd, 2018 8:42pm
Come to realize that everyone is different. Just because people do things differently than you doesn't make them any less of a person...Respect people's differences❤
Positivityiskeyalways
August 3rd, 2018 1:48am
It is natural to judge people, we all do it but if you’re doing it constantly in a negative manner then maybe you should put yourself in that persons shoes and imagine how you’d feel if you wasn’t them. You don’t know what other peoples life circumstances are and what they’re going through so try being positive rather than thinking you’re better than others.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 5:14pm
Try to treat everyone the way you would like to be treated and put yourself in other people's shoes.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2018 1:57pm
Put yourself is that other person shoe. if that was you then you wouldn't want others laughing so maybe you shouldn't do the same
UnderrratedEccentric
August 8th, 2018 8:55pm
For me, the path to being less judgmental starts at compassion point, and continues on through empathy avenue.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2018 5:00am
you could ask for help if you want that. Don’t pass judgment. Understand Accept and love.Once you’ve accepted someone for who he is, try to love him. Even if you don’t know him. Even if you’ve hated him in the past. Love him as a brother, or love her as a sister, no matter who they are, old or young, light skinned or dark, male or female, rich or poor.And yet, while it is in our nature to be judgmental, I don’t think it’s always useful to us. We look down on others, as if we are so much better … and that creates division between people.
lindsayrg
August 26th, 2018 9:28am
You can begin by putting yourself in their shoes. Imagine yourself in their situation, think about your responses and how you’d react recieving them yourself. Try being more positive about situations you are in before trying to be positive about other peoples situations. If you are a negative person, you will end up casting a shadow on other people as well. If you are judgemental of people you are unfamiliar with- try talking to them and get a feel for their personality. You may be surprised by how understanding and kind people can be. Being judgemental can also stem from past experiences of people being judgemental of you. Remember how that made you feel if this is the case and recognize that you wouldn’t want to put anybody else through that.
DipityEnigma
September 1st, 2018 6:54pm
It's difficult to stop such a negative mannerism but it is do-able. Being judgemental usually comes from fear. You judge others before they judge you so that you can have a pre-emptive strike ready for the person that you are judging. It's basically a defense mechanism. If you judge someone to be bitchy, mean, judgemental or aggressive etc, then you can think of things to retaliate with before they even have a chance to be the person you think they're going to be. In this case, most people need to be more confident in themselves. It also usually stems from previous negative experiences where perhaps you've been bullied or judged yourself or even by yourself and that's where this defense mechanism established itself. It's not an easy task and it is most definitely not quickly overcome but if you have the will power and strength, you can control your negative thinking by replacing them with positives. Instead of thinking that you need to retaliate, you could think of ways to diffuse the situation and take the insult or whatever it may be, lightly. Some situations that become bigger than what they need to be, needn't have come to that. Simply being civilized can counteract those types of incidents. But, being judgemental is not necessarily a bad thing. As stated before, it's usually a defense mechanism. Sometimes, it's better to be ready for a negative outcome but it doesn't mean that you should be negative towards someone without good probable cause. There's no harm in being ready for a negative situation but don't expect there to be one. That's the difference between being judgemental and thinking judgemental. Being judgemental = acting negatively towards the person for no good probable cause. Thinking judgemental = being prepared for a negative situation but not acting upon impulse. Hope this helps.
Tyedyedbutterfly65
September 15th, 2018 9:57pm
Self Positive talk, Learning that what you think and say can harm others and also make you feel miserable about yourself in the long run and it can cause arguments that you really do not want to happen . Always remember that what others go through we do not see , we only see what we choose to see. Open your mind and clear the negative thoughts and words and replace them with positive kind, caring words and know that no one is perfect and that we are all Unique and Loved . Judge not lest Ye Be Judge, Put yourself in the other persons shoes that you are judging. It is easier to love people then judge and hate.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2018 4:25pm
Changing a behavior or belief is easier when one understands the purpose it serves. By understanding this, we can make sure that the framework of our world view is kept strong and healthy. Judgement is one kind of Discernment (which means 'seeing how things really are'). This is necessary for us to live in safety, which is a very high priority for our nervous system. The difference between Judgement and Discernment is very simple, and very powerful: the first has solidified values, and the second is flexible and investigative. What tricks people into becoming judgmental is that it is quicker and easier to assign a set value to a situation or challenge, than if one remains aware and open minded. It take effort to be Mindful, and much less so, to be reflexive. So, if you really want to become less judgmental, you must be willing to put out the energy to challenge your beliefs about the meaning of things, and their relative importance to you. Though this is not Easy , it is Possible. There are several well known methods of starting this process, CBT, DBT and Meditation. Each of these works in different ways to help the person challenge their beliefs, thought processes and reflexive responses. Eventually, people can re-invent themselves and become the kind of person they might have imagined themselves to be.
HopeRemains
October 10th, 2018 10:47am
First you need to think that you are a human and everyone else is, we are not created equally and each and everyone of us has different flaws and uniqueness. Being judgemental isn't a sin, we are entitled of our own opinion about something or someone else but other people deserves to be observed first before can they are judged. Think of respect, the highest form of respect is respecting everything and not judging them, if you have to judge someone you need to ensure that you know this person well and you are no lesser than that person if you don't want to be judged as well.
XKangaotiCX
October 14th, 2018 4:45pm
Take a look in the mirror. You need to stop for a moment and think about what you're doing. I know it's easier said than done, but try it. If you are self aware of your judgemental attitude then you are already a step forward to overcoming it. When people judge others, it's based on the life experience and stereotypes we've built up in our own minds - those people you are judging aren't one dimensional characters, don't be fooled by appearances. Instead, try to understand and accept that person. I think it's also important to note that we're all judgemental, it's human nature. The fact you want to stop being judgmental speaks lengths about your character, you do want to be a warm-hearted, kind person and that's all we can hope for as a society. Hope this helped.