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How do you deal with depression after a breakup?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 08/24/2020 at 12:07pm
How do you deal with depression after a breakup?
★ This question about Depression was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
LevisCorde
November 6th, 2014 2:56am
DISTRACTION! Get out there into the world and talk to people, friends, strangers, get your mind off.
HereToListen2You
July 1st, 2015 4:38pm
Bottling it up, is one of the worst things you can do! :D Talk about it to someone, tell them everything, how you feel and how it's affected you... being able to talk to someone can help a whole lot!
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 10:21am
Break ups are always difficult, that's obvious- but the worst part is after you part ways. So, how do you cope with it? First, you have to have the right attitude. You can't get help until you admit that you're going through a rough time and you're willing to try and get back on your feet. Secondly, you can't isolate yourself in your room and eat ice cream all day. Wake up, get dressed in something nice, go outside and grab a coffee with a friend- do something that will boost your mood. Third- do NOT, i repeat- DO NOT stalk your ex online and off. Going through their instagram and moping over how much of a good time they're having will not help you in any way. And constantly asking your friends about them won't help either. Last but not least, remind yourself that this break up happened for a reason. Nobody wants to be stuck in a relationship if both partners aren't happy. Break ups happen because someone better is coming along. So smile and focus on the positive side (:
brighterdawn
July 24th, 2015 2:27pm
The best way to deal is divert your mind and not think about him/her. The more you think about that person the more painful will it be for you and also with no solution so its better to indulge in other activities and keep yourself as busy as possible
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 10:36pm
Depending on how long the relationship was, the breakup may be harder. If it was a more than a year length relationship that is going to be hard to get over but eventually you will get over it. But until then just try to get him/her out of your mind. You can occupy your mind with sports, going out with friends, reading, anything that you need to use your body and mind for.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2015 5:14am
I am sorry that you feel depressed after a breakup, but sometimes it helps people to keep active and surround themselves with people that care for you and want to help you get better.
JungianFanboy
August 5th, 2015 11:52am
I've gone through severe bouts of depression myself,and I'm happy to talk about it and share my experiences if it means I help someone. After a breakup a person can be very vulnerable to negative behaviors and developing inferiority complexes.It's important to analyze our perception of ourselves and think whether it is actually a true depiction of who we are. Most often we beat ourselves up for 'not being good enough'.This creates a sort of negative loop with us suddenly becoming aware of all our faults and beating us up even more and so on.So it's important to get out of the loop by talking to someone or taking up some activity where you genuinely have fun
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 1:48am
The first step is to come to full acceptance to what has happened and start working on that path to moving on. I learnt that taking time and creating space between you and your ex is really important. Surrounding yourself with people you can trust, like close friends and family, and focusing your mind on other things which you enjoy or would keep you busy is the best thing to do in this scenario. Getting over a breakup doesn't happen instantaneously, it takes time, but it's important to know that things do get better, you, yourself is always number one priority.
cherishedEmbrace34
January 24th, 2016 2:36pm
After a breakup there's a million things rushing through your head, mostly regret. You'd be in a huge dilemma of 'what if's' the most important thing is to remember you existed before you met your ex. Join clubs, charity devote your time to something that will make you happy and not what used to make the bot of you happy. Take more time for yourself and go out more. Your ex just lost the best thing in their life and you need to prove it.
Sadaxo
October 24th, 2014 6:58pm
I like to keep myself busy with anything i could find to keep my mind of it, and try to relax as much as possible.
Countrygirl101
July 5th, 2015 3:11pm
I CRY, and CRY some more then, I get dressed up and take lots of selfies because I refuse to let him know that he has hurt me that bad to put me in depression mode!
Anonymous
January 5th, 2016 6:13pm
After a break up, we tend to focus on the person which we are no longer with while dwelling in the break up instead of looking towards the future. The hardest thing about a break up is filling your vacant time with the time that was filled by your former lover. The best medicine for a break up is time. But while you are waiting it out focus on you and take your free time to explore new possibilities such as perfecting a craft, taking up a hobby, investing more time in loved ones, or even just time alone for clarity. Also, remember this: At one time you never knew this person and you managed life just fine without knowing of their existence. Thus, one day it will revert back to the same. Erase all of their text messages, phone numbers, and do away with things that reminds you of them until you are over it. Once you have them out of your system, then it may be safe to wear that scarf they bought you last Christmas. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you will date again and when you do, use the lessons you learned in your previous union to make your next relationship better. Here is a nice exercise: On one sheet of paper write out your ideal lover and make it realistic. Only focus on important things such as personality, intelligence, talents, and etc. And keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Then on a second sheet of paper, write a letter to them and introduce yourself and tell them how you can and will make them happy once you two meet. Believe that you will find love again and you shall :) This too shall pass!
HereToHelpNotJudge
October 27th, 2014 1:03am
I think to deal with depression after a breakup, it's good to be surrounded by friends. You need the support they can give you. Go out, have fun, get your find off the breakup. At some point, we all went/will go through it and though you feel like it's the end of your world, it's not. Just surround yourself with positivity !
monokoii
October 29th, 2014 8:19am
I try to distract myself with things I love to do. I try to stop every negative thought and focus on the good things.
fromthesea
November 9th, 2014 12:50pm
You can try to distract yourself, go out, have fun and eat a lot of chocolate. Call an old friend, meet and go out for dinner. Have fun. Being single is fun. Just think of what you want to do, and do it. It's you-time.
PondIsle
July 5th, 2015 7:32pm
Focus on you. It's natural to be hurt after a breakup, but the way I like to see things is that it was a learning experience. Maybe it didn't end how you had hoped it would, but it happened for a reason. Cherish the good times, and take what you learned to become an even more awesome you!
Anonymous
July 15th, 2015 3:36pm
You don't water a dead plant or play with a broken toy; however, you can cherish the memory of watching that plant grow or having a great playtime with that toy. It can be sad. But sadness can be one way of reminding you how much a great person you can be when it comes to loving someone. Sadness could be presented as "not wanting this to happen". Other than that... You can just remind yourself why you don't need to be sad anymore.
lovelyOcean15
July 17th, 2015 6:19pm
It is normal to be sad after a breakup. But we have to find our way to stand up again and get back our normal life. For example to do our favourite stuffs like drawing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, outing for a movie etc.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2016 11:10pm
People who are meant to be in your life,will be present and the ones who are not meant to be,fade away.Dont be so hard on yourself.Hang out with your friends,do things that you love.When you are happy with yourself,you will find someone again.This is just another page in your book.
Anonymous
September 26th, 2016 4:19am
I have always found that talking through it helps immensely. I find a friend who will listen, and I just vent. I cry, I laugh, I get everything out of my system. It feels amazing to be able to say anything and not be judged. Advice is welcome and usually appreciated, but sometimes just being able to vent helps. If there's no one available to listen, I write.
Lauren20
September 13th, 2014 4:48am
I really try and occupy myself with other things. Maybe hanging out with a friend or family member and going places, but something to keep my mind off the ex-partner.
Freelyloved
September 18th, 2014 7:42pm
You have to really try to deal with the emotion in the beginning, whether it be anger, sadness, relief, etc., then try to look to the future, make long term goals.
beyondthatsmile
October 19th, 2014 5:27pm
Join a sport,talk to friends, find some type of support. It takes time to recover but eventually you'll move on after a period of time.
Aflower
October 29th, 2014 8:15pm
Try to tell yourself that live goes on after all... I know it is hard, very hard actually, in the beginning, but there is so much more in life as just being in a relationship. Try to do soemthing you always wanted to try out, so you won't think too much about the break up. Be strong after all
Anonymous
November 7th, 2014 6:47am
Chocolate is ALWAYS a good idea but so is support from friends and family. Sometimes, a shoulder to cry on can be a dad's shoulder or a friend's shoulder.
PeaceTrain
November 10th, 2014 10:39am
Trying to put your mind on something else works really good. Work hard, go to some long tour or meditate. They all work really well!
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 9:36pm
Being sad after a breakup is of course very common. Getting over a breakup can take time, it is almost like a grieving process where you have to go through different stages until you can finally get closure and maybe can better deal with the sadness a breakup entails. In the meantime, it is important that you focus on your most basic needs, as sleep and food. It is okay to be sad, acknowledge that, validate your own emotions. Take the time you need and take care of yourself, do things that make you feel good.
xray
July 29th, 2015 5:57am
The breakup in itself doesn't cause depression, but the way you take it does. Analyze what it is specifically about breaking up that causes the depression. Be really honest with yourself and you will find something that you might not want to admit, but if you do and you can find a solution to it, the depression will certainly be lessened.
johnhigh22
July 30th, 2015 12:26am
Talk about it with your friends , try out new hobbies and LOOK AT YOUR MIRROR AND SMILE life's small
xWeCanDoThisx
August 5th, 2015 8:11pm
I like to read everyday in my favorite book. This helps me to get in to the fantasy world of the book and forget a little the hard world of reality.