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How do you get yourself out of a pit of despair?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 10/19/2021 at 1:38am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
June 22nd, 2015 4:19am
In truth, I don't get out of it much. I tend to make a home for myself in the pit. I bring my artistic decorations and my mementos of the past and get comfortable because I know I'll linger too long. And then I laugh like a madman at pretty much any silly thing I can find to laugh at. Oh hai lump of dirt. You seem so out of place in my pit of despair. Bahahahaha. Lumps of dirt. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Because what good is a pit of despair if you can't laugh in it? I've come to find that because climbing out is incredibly hard, sometimes I have to curl up in the corner of the pit and give myself some time to rest before I can heal enough to use the coping skills that will allow me to climb out. And when I do climb out, I know that my stubborn insistence on viewing the depressing realities of the world is like the mud at the top of the pit that will cause me to slide back down. In truth, if I were to actually get out of the pit, it's because, for typically a fairly brief amount of time, I was able to gain a "ladder" of listening from someone who genuinely cares about me, or a rope of distraction doing things that take my mind off of what brings me down. But more likely, I will talk to my friends in neighbors in their own pits of despair and we'll at least make living in the pit of despair way more fun. Because what's the point of living in despair if you cannot have fun?
September 8th, 2015 8:14pm
Slowly. You have to focus on the passing hours, minutes, and seconds until the nightfall, and then focus on the passing hours, minutes, and seconds until the dawn. Don't think about the future, don't think about tomorrow, just focus on this moment only. No matter how deep is your pit, how dark your despair, the sun is still on the sky. "And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there."
May 20th, 2015 9:58pm
It's hard... God, is it hard!! Despair is something that can consume you until you're on the verge of giving up completely. It's one of those things where it can shape a person, or break a person. You can completely give up because despair has gotten the best of you and you feel like death is the only option, it's not, OR you could grow from it. You could search for things that used to bring you happiness in life. The things that you used to escape from the terrible reality that you lived. For most people, this escape plan, or place, is gone. But, trust me, it's there... You just have to have the will to find it! Have the strength to say, "You know what?! I hate living like this! I hate feeling like I want to give up! I know I have so much to live for! Let's keep fighting!" Most people will think that, that statement is impossible or unrealistic but, you know what? You can do it.. I believe in you and I know you're strong. It's the belief and hope in yourself that gets you through the toughest of situations...
June 23rd, 2015 3:07am
when you are in a pit of despair you feel that you no longer have any hope or belief that a situation will improve or change...and it will surely not..because you have lost all is just like a ship in the storm..if the sailor admits that the cannot over power the storm then they will never be able to do so...but if they hope to do so..there is a slight possibility that they might be able to do it..and who said that a smooth sea gave a great sailor...problems are what make us strong and a better human being
March 25th, 2015 4:14am
I do my best to stay distracted and think of other things, whether it be working harder, reading a book, or hanging out with my husband or friends. It's very difficult to climb out of the pit, but it's doable, especially with the right support system.
January 30th, 2015 12:39pm
I try and list things about myself that I like. At first there isn't much, but when I force myself to really say them outloud, they start to make me feel a little better. Then, I watch Netflix or write a poem :D
January 18th, 2016 11:32pm
Well, it depends on how deep the pit is. Usually, lots and lots of music helps me to overcome my pit. Talking to my lovely friends, and all of the other lovely listeners on here helps me as well :)
November 14th, 2017 12:38pm
Try some self-care techniques found right here on 7 cups. You could also try some mindfulness. Or even spending time with those who make you feel better can do the trick! Do something you love doing :)
January 12th, 2016 2:06pm
I wait. I talk to friends about that pit i am experiencing. I get some fresh air, take a walk. Everything that eases my mind a little bit.
March 1st, 2016 4:03pm
Intellectual answers can help, but the best answer I can give is spiritual practices -- yoga, meditation, and breathing.
October 11th, 2016 9:27am
I try to think about the positives in life. I think about my family, and the good things they've provided me.
January 1st, 2018 12:19am
Do something you enjoy. Make sure your needs are being met. Have you eaten in the last day? Slept? Drank water? These all have negative effects on your mood. So take care of your needs, talk to someone, and do what you enjoy.
February 12th, 2018 9:13pm
Start doing and talking more about what you like and love. Try to deter from anything outside of positivity. Know that negativiely will come, and it will also go, try to acknowledge your negative thoughts and then leave them where they are.
October 19th, 2021 1:38am
I made a happiness playlist on a up day for me to play whenever I am feeling down. It is full of songs that are either super upbeat, fun lyrics, or are connected to happy memories. I also identified some activities that typically help me feel better. It can be hard to make yourself do things when you are down but having things pre picked can help reduce the energy needed to do it. Lastly, I try to do a little everyday and a little more on good days to help alleviate some stress on not so good days.