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How do you go about living with regrets?

32 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 5:48pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
August 16th, 2016 7:48am
There is one simple way to live with regrets: Do not treat them as regrets. Instead, acknowledge that these 'regrets' are mistakes you've learned from and is a reminder for how it is okay to be human. It is okay to make these mistakes. You're one true duty is to look at these mistakes and take note on how to improve and grow positively from them.
June 11th, 2015 11:40pm
Personally, I try to be mindful that the past is truly in the past, and that the best thing I can do is to be be mindful of moving forward, and to treat myself with the same compassion, love, and care I would a very dear loved one.
September 4th, 2017 10:59pm
You don't live with them. You live with the knowledge of them - knowing and understanding that having regrets is a part of the past that made you who you are today. This is coming from someone who has made tons and tons of mistakes and held a lifetime of regrets even though I'm not even halfway done with life yet. When I look back I still feel ashamed at the things that I have done. - and I use this feeling to fuel a promise to myself that I will never make the same mistakes again. Honestly, your regrets don't matter if you are determined to be a better version of yourself right now. We win some and we lose some. Of the 100% of opportunities that come our way - we are bound to miss at least 50% of them. Another way of coming to terms with it, is to think to yourself - alright, I did failed miserably at that in my past life - and now I owe it to myself to do better. We are a work in progress, please remember that! So when you're struggling to live with regrets, don't let them hold you back because then, instead of being a learning experience, your past mistakes can hinder your present. When you're reminiscing about the past, always remember to forgive and be extra kind to yourself. I believe in you :)
May 21st, 2015 1:34pm
That's the thing about regrets. We cannot really live with them. It's very difficult holding on to the past and trying to live in this present. What we should try to work on is letting go of the mistakes made in the past. It has all passed and there is no way that time can be reversed. So all we can do is accept our faults, our life as it is. And then if you can work on fixing things, go ahead. It's very difficult to live with regrets. I know what it's like. So just breathe and slowly gather your life back again. That's the best you can do. :) Take care. xo
March 14th, 2015 6:47pm
You don't. You find a way to forgive yourself for the things that have happened. The past is the past.. it cannot be changed, but it shouldn't cloud your present or future.
July 14th, 2015 6:50am
In my experience learning to live with regrets is about accepting these regrets. Think of them as part of you. They are part of who you are and how you are. Accept them for what they are.
May 16th, 2016 6:45pm
The thing about regrets is that there is nothing you can do about them now. I think the key to successfully 'living' with regrets (as pleasantly as possible) is to make peace with them. To recognize that you can't change the past, what's happened has happened, and to make the best decisions going forward with your life.
April 25th, 2015 7:13pm
There are many regrets to bare, some that cut deeper than others; but each action we have taken, good or bad, has led to who we are today, and that should be encouraging. Whether your regrets affect others or yourself personally, there are always ways to address these, whether the person you know is living or lives no longer, or whether you can forgive yourself or not, there are always things that you can do to bring about a change, no matter how little or small!
May 27th, 2015 12:41pm
Acceptance. Forgiveness. These two things are key for dealing with regrets, accept the situation, and don't carry your guilt, or take it out on yourself, learn to forgive yourself. Learn from the experience, learn to forgive yourself.
November 3rd, 2015 8:16pm
First I accept the situation, then I try my best to learn all the lessons possible so that I can implement my knowledge into any future endeavors that may be similar in nature, in order to maybe have a more favorable outcome. Sounds easy but it is a process that I continually struggle with, but I remain positive.
November 30th, 2015 7:07pm
regrets are connected with the past.try to make yourself a good future doing what you like in the present
December 1st, 2015 11:06pm
Hi, My way has been to analyze myself and think about the benefits of my regrets. While at first it seems impossible to come up with anything positive about the things I regret, with time I have discovered that they have steered me in a direction that has been somehow positive, e.g. Allowed me to meet new people, look for a new job, change something in my life, etc
July 4th, 2016 9:48pm
I recommend you read this page and also watch the video, which helped me a lot when I first watched:
July 18th, 2016 9:03pm
regrets also is needed for life. We must be strong against all things in life as well as positive things. And regrets are including this.
August 1st, 2016 4:58pm
I always have regrets but once you relize there is a limit to how much you regret things will get better
December 13th, 2016 11:59pm
Regrets can both shape us and destroy us. As human beings, life is full of decisions, some made by ourselves and others that are out of our control. I have made many wrong decisions in life but I have learnt from them and it has opened new doors that would have otherwise remained closed. Do not have a regret that you tried something and didn't achieve what you wanted. Think about what you obtained from trying. Learn from your mistakes and try to move past the obstacle.
February 20th, 2017 6:07am
I personally prefer to not think of them as regrets. Referring to them as learning opportunities really helps shift the internal narrative from something negative to something constructive. It makes it much easier to say 'I can do better next time.'
April 16th, 2018 3:01am
Do everything you want to do. Be true to yourself. Don't think about what other people say about you. Make sure only your opinion matters to you.
July 20th, 2015 11:06am
Learn from your mistakes, but remain aware that every decision you make has consequences, and that you must be willing to live with them when you make that decision.
September 14th, 2015 5:08pm
I try to look at everything that happens to me that i'd usually think of regretfully, as a lesson. Something to grow from and not repeat. That's how I move forward
October 16th, 2015 7:05pm
The past is in the past. Letting go is the only way to cope with regrets. Let go and move on.
October 16th, 2015 11:29pm
I think that we all have some form of regrets in life--it's normal, we are only human, we can't be perfect. I know that once you have a regret, you constantly look back on it and wish things could be different. It will pass, don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't mean you will make that regret again, think differently.
December 7th, 2015 3:10am
I think it is just useful to know that you made the decisions you think were best at the time with the knowledge you had. We are always learning from our mistakes and it helps us to make better decisions in the future.
December 21st, 2015 9:18pm
There is no actual answer to going about life with no regrets. You will always have regrets but that's life. The most honest answer I can give is basically to just go on instinct but still have boundries.
March 22nd, 2016 4:53pm
We can say we do made mistakes from the past, but it ccant be help. PAst is past and that's why we are like this at the present. it is part of who we are now. All we can do is to learn from it and live life positively facing the future with knowing that we may do again mistakes but its a msitake not like on the past :P
March 29th, 2016 7:24pm
Realise that although you may have done something wrong there is nothing you can change about that. It's a tough lesson to learn- we must only live in the present.
July 26th, 2016 2:37pm
realize that everyone makes mistake and that's okay if you feel that regrets sometimes. just dont let it consumes you
October 4th, 2016 2:59pm
Regrets are like horrible chains tied to your feet. They stop you from moving forward. In order to move on, the first thing is to loosen those shackles and focus on the present. The past is gone, what's done is done. Now is the time to do something new, in a way that'll help you get over that regret.
October 11th, 2016 7:07pm
You can't go about living with regrets, dwelling on past mistakes will only upset you and put a downer on your present and future. Instead learn from your mistakes and remember- nobody is perfect. Regretting something is what we all do, what you choose to do with that regret is up to you.
March 7th, 2017 3:20am
Don't think of them as regrets, they're more like lessons learned. Taking what worked and applying moving forward creates better results so they're won't be any "regrets"