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How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?

305 Answers
Last Updated: 03/29/2020 at 1:25am
How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice

Counselor

I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
nightlockbound
May 1st, 2016 5:15pm
I will tell myself that everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and that even though it is wrong to cheat or lie, at the end of the day there is no need to reproach ourselves anymore as there is nothing we can do to turn back time. I've had an experience with lying before, when I lied about the time I slept as I was up late online. I felt really guilty, and constantly asked myself why I did that even when I knew it was wrong. But looking back, I just didn't want my loved ones to worry, so in the end I got past it.
Aria992
May 7th, 2016 9:08am
Remind yourself that you're a human being. you're flawed. you're not meant to be perfect. Learn that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn to face the consequences. Do admit that you made a mistake, especially to the other person. it will help if they see that you regret it, and show them (not just tell) that you're going to try and make it up to them.
connor18
May 7th, 2016 4:26pm
This is particularly hard, I usually have to tell the person or people I cheated that I cheated them and ask for their forgiveness before I can forgive myself.
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 1:33pm
Forgiving is something essential for us, as humans. Sometimes we forgive others but we forget that forgiving ourselves is important as well. We tend to think that when we make a mistake we are not good anymore and that only evil has remained in our hearts. But do we really think the same when someone else makes a mistake? No. Sometimes we just need to remember that we all have flaws and that we are not necessarily bad. Forgiving yourself is much more challenging than forgiving someone else because we have to live with your thoughts and emotions the whole time. Forgiving isn't about pretending that it never happened, it just means that you assume what you did and take the consequences, without letting them cause bad feeling about yourself, because not forgiving is like keep touching that open wound, so it doesn't cure.
Ryannn03
May 28th, 2016 1:46pm
I like to think of your past self who did those things as a different person from who you are, so you can hate that person, and try to be better than that person.
RumpleSteeleSkin
July 21st, 2018 9:30pm
Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do- then forgiving another person. Maybe know that you made a mistake, and think are you sorry for doing it. Try and show yourself kindness and know we too deserve to be forgiven by us.
Swifting
March 29th, 2016 8:08am
Forgiving yourself for cheating comes through self discovery and making amends to the best of your ability. You also will need to determine what it is that caused you to exhibit the behaviors of lying and/or cheating on your partner.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 12:14am
Accept that you did this, make sure the person you cheated on (or with) and lied to knows that you did it and accept any judgment they have, and move on. You don't have to let them go, just know that they're human and deserve to experience things in their own way. You can't change what you've done, but you can move forward from it and become the better person you know you can be.
NinaBella5084r
April 7th, 2016 3:57pm
Honesty is always the best policy. However, if one is in a situation that involves them having to lie/cheat, then I think realizing and being aware that cheating/lying will never foster positive outlooks later in life. Once established, one can strive towards becoming a better version of themselves from that point on.
genuinefriendship71
April 13th, 2016 3:02am
To truly forgive yourself you must admit to yourself the issues. Then you get help and go through a meditation process to heal and let go of all the hurt and pain you caused to yourself and the ones around you.One you can forgive yourself and become the best you that you can be than you will become a amazing person who wouldn't find the need to cheat or lie to be the best you,you have to start with you.
Markimoo
April 20th, 2016 8:37pm
You take what you did/said and learn from it and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. It is how we all learn. Don't beat yourself up about it. You can go to the person and apologize if that helps. Explain to them why you did what you did. I am sure they will understand. And if they don't. I am sure you can move on without them. Or give them some time to think on it and they might come around to forgive you.
calmingMist66
May 7th, 2016 11:24pm
The first step is to make yourself accept the fact that you lied or cheated and then you can look into reasons why. There has got to be something that caused this to happen. Now humans aren't perfect and a lot of it is second nature but mabye you wanted to feel in control of something. Mabye you are having a difficult time in your current relationship and that was a way you decided to deal with it. Everyone's different.
HeavensReside
May 15th, 2016 11:42am
Sometimes, lying or cheating appears to humans as a natural instinct. However, if you feel guilty about it, you will find it hard to forgive yourself. To forgive yourself, I recommend you find the source of why you cheated/lied and vow to yourself to never repeat it again, with equipping yourself with motivation.
Square
May 18th, 2016 8:24am
Admitting you messed up is the first step and than being truthful to the person you wronged no matter how hard can clear you conscience
HennaDSalvatore
May 26th, 2016 6:30pm
Just forgive and forget its over and done with so why live in the past your only damaging yourself :)
Anonymous
June 26th, 2016 5:22am
Understand that your past actions should not hold you back from doing good in the present or future. Use this as an opportunity to become a better person and prove to yourself that you can change.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2017 4:21pm
It's important to remember that every human being is bound to make mistakes. It is something inevitable. Surely, the way we deal with our mistakes tell a lot about how we see and know ourselves. Lying and cheating are also included in mistakes we usually make in our lifetime. It is perfectly normal for someone to feel guilty and remorseful over their mistakes, especially if he/she knew that what they were doing was wrong. I think the first step towards forgiving yourself towards lying or cheating is to admit that you did something wrong, and understand how it impacted you and other people. I believe that if you do so, it will help with overcoming your problems much easier. After reflecting on why these actions were incorrect and recognizing that you made a mistake, the second step would be self-reassurance. By reminding yourself that every human being makes mistakes and that your mistakes don't make you a bad person, it will help you feel better about overcoming your problem. You would start to feel more comfortable with accepting your mistakes and work towards becoming a better individual. The third step would be to strive to not repeat the mistakes ever again. Even if you catch yourself slipping up, don't worry. Keep trying to avoid making these mistakes again, and you will eventually learn how to fully overcome them.
JuniorJuniper
March 11th, 2017 11:32pm
It can be very hard, but what I use to do is to tell myself that I can't go back and undo the cheating or untell the lie, the best thing I can do is to move on and try my very best and not repeat the same mistake again. Sulking over what I have done just keeps me back, and it just keeps you back as well! Accept what you have done, and promise yourself that you will learn from your mistakes and not repeat them
Ruek
August 10th, 2017 11:11am
Know that everyone makes mistakes and that it is important to be kind with yourself. It is normal to feel angry with yourself and upset, but it is also important to know that it is ok to make mistakes.
MotherWillow93
March 14th, 2018 2:50pm
1. Apologies to the person you hurt. 2. Accept what has already happened and leave it in the past. Let it be a lesson to not repeat the same mistakes in the future. As you become successful at not repeating the mistakes you will be proud of yourself. 3. Tell yourself out loud every day, "I forgive myself" until you believe it.
katara86
March 29th, 2018 9:49am
Know that beating yourself up doesn't help. Accept that you made poor decisions and take responsibility for the consequences. Knowing that you're doing all you can will help you come to a place where you can forgive yourself.
Caringheart23
April 5th, 2018 6:10pm
To forgive ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. Remain yourself that everyone makes mistakes, everyone is guilty of something. And take it from there. Maybe find someone to talk to about it and help you guide through that process. It's hard, but not impossible. Hope you'll find peace
kindHand56
April 14th, 2018 10:05am
Practice mindfulness meditation and learn to love yourself, you could try yoga or maybe going for a run etc. Just anything that gets you going really, it will help you feel better and leg go of some of the guilt.
Sunshinelove22
May 24th, 2018 6:39am
Self-forgiveness is critical to well-being—but it needs to be balanced with responsibility-taking, when appropriate. It empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.The self-forgiveness method most conducive to constructive change seems to involve an acknowledgement of both positive and negative aspects of the self. :)
gracefulPresence64
July 14th, 2018 5:33am
well if you cheated or lied to someone best thing is to tell the truth and explain / work through things with the person because if they find out they will be more hurt than you telling, forgiveness is a chance but a break or removal of the person as well, but what is better you feeling guilty and hurting someone or you not feeling guilty and want that person to feel more. and be more understanding.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2019 10:51pm
Sometimes it's not about forgiveness and more about growth. Adapt and learn from the mistakes of lying or cheating and accept what is done. Become someone better and learn from the mistakes! Guide those who have walked the same path and correct their mistakes! As you do this you might just learn that forgiveness comes through time and action and is not given but earned! Forgiveness is something you may and can give yourself but the worth of that forgiveness can only be measured through the deed and actions you take to make yourself better in all things in life. We are only human and so is the fate we live. Our imperfections make us perfect and our strive to perfection makes us better people! "Don't worry, Be happy!"
Kart12
April 1st, 2016 8:46am
By apologizing to the person to whom you've betrayed, nobody likes to cheat but situation makes us to do such kind of things usually
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 11:11am
Understand that you are a human being and you are not perfect, you will make mistakes, the best thing to do would be to personally talk to the person you hurt face to face, or if that is not possible, write them a letter or send a text message explaining your deep sincerity and apologizing for the wrongdoing, forgive yourself and love yourself, because by doing that, you're also learning what you should not do, do just make sure you never do it again
amazingButterfly31
April 15th, 2016 8:58am
This can cause string emotions u need to forgive ur self in order to move on think positive remember we all make mistakes
sunnyOcean31
April 20th, 2016 1:37am
First know what you did was wrong, but people do make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect ,, there is temptation and you just happen to fall into it. It doesnt make you a bad person , you just did a wrong act. Tell the truth to the ones you love and learn from your experience in order to grow into a better person