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How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?

308 Answers
Last Updated: 05/23/2022 at 6:47am
How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
heartfulloflove04
February 24th, 2018 5:23am
Learn from it. Don't make that mistake again. Biggest thing to fixing your mistake is to not repeat or indulge in anything that can lead to such mistakes.
kgemily17
March 1st, 2018 5:47pm
Everyone does it, there is no way you can turn back time, why waste time wishing you could? You need to look forward to the future, not waste your time on the past.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2018 5:13am
My honest answer is that it lies within yourself 100%. You can not look for the validation to come from anyone but yourself. We all make mistakes in life, and we are all humans just learning how to be good people! As long as you can learn from the experience, there really is no reason why you can't be willing to forgive yourself. If you can forgive others for their shortcomings, try practicing that same forgiveness within yourself and forgive yourself and let go of the mistakes you made.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 5:43am
You can forgive yourself from cheating or lying by understanding why you did it in the first place and see if it was a reasonable decision to do than you can choose to forgive yourself or not to.
Engineeringhappiness
March 8th, 2018 12:31pm
make up your mind that you wont do that again. then focus on something else that makes you happy. youll feel better
LilyFlower112
March 9th, 2018 7:42am
It's sometimes tough to forgive yourself for something you've done wrong. Understanding that this negative decision is in the past and learning from the error is what encourages me to forgive myself. I also avoid defending any lie.
courageousDreamer68
April 4th, 2018 5:42pm
First, accept that you did it, that you were at fault and therefore some guilt is bound to be there. Also accept that you're a human and while you did make a mistake, it doesn't mean that you're inherently "bad" or evil. The best way to move on from a mistake is to accept it, try to understand why you did it (so that you don't repeat it again), make amends to people you might have hurt and then vow to do your best not to repeat it.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2018 9:41pm
There's no way to forgive yourself for cheating, but cheating comes from 2 sides The person that you're in a relationship with is also a part of the problem unfortunately otherwise there would be no cheating
Anonymous
April 13th, 2018 1:46pm
i would first try to get forgiveness from the person who was affected from the cheating or lying. then it will be easier to forgive yourself
Anonymous
April 19th, 2018 9:22am
FOrgiving oneself is a difficulty job but it is need to be done to have happy life without any guilt we must forgive oneself because we are all humans afterall everyone makes mistake we to can and we must get a second chance to proof our self by overcoming our flaws and never commit them again .
MilkyHoneyTea
April 21st, 2018 3:04am
You are human. Apologize and mean it, don't look for them to forgive you. Just let them know you regret your actions. Think about why you did it and how you can avoid doing it again.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 3:40pm
We are human, and we make mistakes. The first thing you need to do is accept what you have done, and learn how to cope with it positively.
AprylFools
April 29th, 2018 11:19am
This is a hard one to cope with. Though firstly, try to recall the reasons as to why you lied or cheated to begin with. Perhaps things were rocky in the relationship? With the reason in mind, you need to also try and remember that you're entilted to make mistakes, just be sure to learn from them!
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2018 5:32pm
I think admitting the fact of what I did, apologizing and correcting the mistake would be the ideal thing to forgive myself.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2018 5:12am
I often say the truth to the person that i lied to and hope for their forgiveness. And it makes me feel better
Anonymous
May 12th, 2018 3:21am
Since I am a religious person, I found that praying helped. I also from another standpoint tried to own up to my actions and build stronger relationships with those I hurt in the past. Last but not least, I moved forward and didn’t repeat the mistake again.
Anonymous
May 12th, 2018 4:26pm
Never do it again. Give yourself a second chance, for your own good and the people whom you've possibly hurt with your actions.
Briwes911
May 12th, 2018 8:27pm
the best way to forgive your self for cheating or lying is to first understand why you were doing it.. after you understand that its easyer to forgive
Anonymous
May 16th, 2018 7:58pm
It’s important to tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Think about what drove you to make the choice to cheat or lie. Think about alternative actions that you can take in the future. See this lesson as an opportunity for growth.
ElectusGuardian
February 15th, 2019 2:00pm
Always understand that you are who you are today at this moment and not the person you were before. Remember to not repeat this action.. and be kind. You may have been afraid at that point in regards to something. It could be the fact that you're afraid of missing out, or afraid of not being able to be yourself in the process. Being kind to yourself is important. Everything that has happened to us is a journey towards a better self. Write a reflection on why you decided to do what you did. And then be aware of your feelings and how you can overcome it in the future. Remember to stay patient in the process.
CaseyDianne
August 30th, 2019 3:59am
Disappointing your self throughout life is something that many deal with. Forgiving yourself may be harder than one may think. There may be things that we didn't mean to do, but we did. We must live in the "here and now" rather than the "then and there". This means we cannot live for how we wish things were, but rather for what things are in this moment. It is normal to make mistakes, and it's okay to admit that you were wrong. I also feel as though it's equally important to right your wrongs, and continue by forgiving yourself. Sometimes, a person themselves can be their worst critic, It's important to show yourself love, self care and concern when it comes to things like this. Forgiving yourself is a process, but it's an attainable process. Continue to work at self love everyday, and be willing to forgive yourself.
VctorSomm
August 29th, 2019 6:43pm
You forgive yourself once realise what you have done. Because if you dont forgive yourself would be hard to keep going, live your life and also helping someone else. Being honest with yourself is the key to build up your strength, confident and friendship. Of course is not easy to do it but step by step we can get so many things into the good way, just helping ourself been more honest, more confident, reliable. So the first step to forgive someone is starts with your own forgiveness and from that moment on, you have to be the one you want to be
MissLisa
August 22nd, 2019 8:52pm
We are all human beings and we all make mistakes from time to time. However it is important that we forgive ourselves to avoid it hanging over us and causing problems. Give yourself the compassion and forgiveness that you would give to someone else. If you can forgive others, then you can certainly forgive yourself also. You could also apologise to the person who you lied or cheated on as this may help you forgive yourself and gain closure. If you have learnt a lesson from your wrong doing then you should be able to move on knowing your a better person from learning from your mistake.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2019 4:59pm
You recognize what you did wrong and take responsibility for it, then you try to work on bettering yourself for you and your partner and slowly you may begin to forgive yourself. You can also dig into why you cheated or lied and if it’s a legitimate reason, maybe ending a relationship where you feel trapped is a good idea, I cannot give advice though and I truly would not like to break any relationships based on my own experiences. You are the only one that truly knows your situation and reflection can certainly help you find a verdict as well.
LotusBay
June 27th, 2019 7:29pm
The first step to forgiving yourself is to first recognize the consequences of your actions. Only after you have recognized the consequences of your actions, can you then take responsibility for them. Learn from the mistakes you have made. Remaining mad at one's self after you have already accepted responsibility for the wrongful act, is unhelpful. You can only truly learn from your mistake if you allow yourself to be forgiven. Holding a grudge against yourself stops you from truly learning from the experience, and makes you attempts to move on fruitless. Ultimately, if you wish to forgive yourself, you must remember the most important thing: You are only human and that means you are allowed to make mistakes.
bravePomegranate53
March 17th, 2019 2:23pm
To forgive yourself you have to accept that things like that happen. Maybe you went through a difficult time, and circumstances made you take your choices at the time. It doesn't mean you were right, or that you should do the same again. But beating up yourself in a long time doesn't make things better. Say sorry to the person you have hurt, and take learning from what you did and how you should act in another way in the future. Making a white lie is sometimes necessary, but it should not become a habit. To lie to harm others is never ok.
Ashes2Ashes1984
March 10th, 2019 4:58am
We all have done something that felt right at that specific time and sometime it was the right thing to do and other time it was the wrong thing to do. We need these experience to learn and growth from them. I have lied several times in my life because it felt like the right thing to avoid hurting the other person or getting into a more serious conversation that would not be useful in our relationship. The truth is that true forgiveness takes time and even more time with guilt. It is something that you have to be honest with yourself and express freely in order to grow from it. we learn from our mistakes. And lies are sometime a mistake that we have to learn from and deal with the effect of them. Often in any relationship (i don't mean solely one type) after the incident of lying more conversation will hopefully follow and things will be talk out.
wildflowerbee
February 20th, 2019 5:59pm
I think the best way to forgive yourself for cheating or lying is by considering the situation and your thoughts and your feelings at that time. When you do do that, you realise that you could have done things differently, right? But that is what you think NOW, that is what you think because of who you are now, and you will realise that overtime you have grown, that is why you are feeling the guilt and the remorse now. So give yourself credit for growing and coming to the point that you think that you should have done things differently and if now faced with the same situation you will.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2018 10:19am
We all are humans. We make mistakes. We are given a life but not a plan or path to deal with it its okay to make mistakes. "You are not your biggest mistake" Obviously, we cannot forget things easily but we can always move on the path. Life is a book. Don't stop because of one bad page. Forgive yourself and move on. If you can correct things then go ahead but if you can't, then letting go of is the only repentance. Take the chance and keep the lesson. Listen! Forgiving yourself is the sign of a strong mind and faith in lord.
FlintWolf
December 21st, 2018 11:25am
Accepting who you are and learning from your mistakes are both so important. We can never undo the consequences we've endured or will by being honest, the best thing to do is come clean with ourselves. You're worth every bit of happiness you can get out of life, if you've never hurt anyone and are only protecting yourself then you have nothing to feel guilty for. If something is for survival, it's necessary. We all have needs, instinct and desires that require fulfillment. It only matters that you are safe and that nobody gets physically hurt or emotionally triggered. Keep calm and just try to breathe.