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How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?

308 Answers
Last Updated: 05/23/2022 at 6:47am
How to forgive yourself for cheating or lying?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
magnificentRose95
December 30th, 2017 6:32am
Its a tough one and its not necessarily an easy thing to do. Its going to take some time but talking it through with a close friend or a loved one can help. What you did may have been wrong but you don't have to hold onto that mistake forever. You just need to understand and then learn from your mistake
EtsuSongbird17
December 31st, 2017 8:38pm
It's really hard, I always get that sick feeling in my gut after I lie or cheat. But the best way for me to forgive myself is to apologize to the person I lied to. It's hard and it hurts, but it's better to get things in the open.
recoveringlistener
January 10th, 2018 2:02pm
Feeling guilty over cheating or lying can be soul crushing, but there's no undoing it, so the best thing to do is to apologize to anyone hurt and carry on the best you can trying to move forward. Instead of blocking it from your mind, accepting it and channeling that guilt into motivation can be progressive
KuyaEthan
January 28th, 2018 5:08pm
Some may mistake forgiving as forgetting. It is not that easy and those are different terms. Forgiving is the state of being in peace - stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake. Forgetting according to this, inadvertently neglect to do, bring, or mention something. So how do we forgive ourselves for cheating and lying or any other acts that may somehow be damaging, well: 1)Identify your biggest regret - It's often helpful to categorize these things because people often only hold on to a handful of big categories/patterns. Working on patterns of behavior is often more helpful than working on individual regrets. 2)Become clear with your Morals - think about it. What happened good and bad from it. 3)Realize that it is now a past - it has happened, why let it stay for a little bit longer when it has a negative effect. 4)Don't just forget it but learn from it - It happened, yet there will always be a lesson. Learn from it. 5)Accepting yourself - Think kind thoughts toward yourself and show yourself some compassion. 6)Enjoy your Life - Take some time with yourself or a trusted adult or friend and get yourself to express within.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 2:26am
Don't stay to the past, let go remember that life must go on no matter what's the problem is remember forgive yourself coz no one can
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 6:36pm
Well what made you lie or cheat? What did you felt the neccesity of doing it? It's because you don't trust that person or feel like protecting yourself? That could be some questions that could help you.
JenCounsel29
February 2nd, 2018 9:26am
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. You learn from your mistakes and they make you into the person you are, or will become. You have survive 100% of your worst days.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 10:31am
Promise yourself you won't do it again to anyone and start doing good things to people. When you do something wrong you have to forgive yourself and admit that everyone has their own time when they become the toxic person. And you they can compensate it by trying to become a better person. What happened had happened and you should just start fixing it save what can be saved and be a better person
Vanessagomez18
February 9th, 2018 2:27am
you can forgive yourself if you have cheated or lied. By learning from your mistakes and hopefully not doing it again. you can always start fresh.
Angel1011208
February 9th, 2018 5:05pm
always keep in mind that you can't dwell on the past because you can't go back and change anything so just learn from your past and realize that you're now wiser and smarter towards that problem!
7shades1colour
February 22nd, 2018 4:57am
first step is realization and accepting. when we realize that we cheated or lied and that it was a very wrong deed, a sin on our part then automatically regret will take over. and it is in our hands to guide this regret from the negative way to the positive path. we cannot punish ourselves physically, its wrong and we got no right. but we can punish us to do 10 things right for 1 lie. begin with making a list of things you want to do for other's good and go on accomplishing them. and when the list is fulfilled then we will realize that all this while we have been forgiving ourselves. the wrongdoer in us has finally done good. the liar in us has finally faced the truth. Last but not the least, never cease to love yourself, not for the wrong tasks but for all the good we are capable to do.
heartfulloflove04
February 24th, 2018 5:23am
Learn from it. Don't make that mistake again. Biggest thing to fixing your mistake is to not repeat or indulge in anything that can lead to such mistakes.
kgemily17
March 1st, 2018 5:47pm
Everyone does it, there is no way you can turn back time, why waste time wishing you could? You need to look forward to the future, not waste your time on the past.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2018 5:13am
My honest answer is that it lies within yourself 100%. You can not look for the validation to come from anyone but yourself. We all make mistakes in life, and we are all humans just learning how to be good people! As long as you can learn from the experience, there really is no reason why you can't be willing to forgive yourself. If you can forgive others for their shortcomings, try practicing that same forgiveness within yourself and forgive yourself and let go of the mistakes you made.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 5:43am
You can forgive yourself from cheating or lying by understanding why you did it in the first place and see if it was a reasonable decision to do than you can choose to forgive yourself or not to.
Engineeringhappiness
March 8th, 2018 12:31pm
make up your mind that you wont do that again. then focus on something else that makes you happy. youll feel better
LilyFlower112
March 9th, 2018 7:42am
It's sometimes tough to forgive yourself for something you've done wrong. Understanding that this negative decision is in the past and learning from the error is what encourages me to forgive myself. I also avoid defending any lie.
courageousDreamer68
April 4th, 2018 5:42pm
First, accept that you did it, that you were at fault and therefore some guilt is bound to be there. Also accept that you're a human and while you did make a mistake, it doesn't mean that you're inherently "bad" or evil. The best way to move on from a mistake is to accept it, try to understand why you did it (so that you don't repeat it again), make amends to people you might have hurt and then vow to do your best not to repeat it.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2018 9:41pm
There's no way to forgive yourself for cheating, but cheating comes from 2 sides The person that you're in a relationship with is also a part of the problem unfortunately otherwise there would be no cheating
Anonymous
April 13th, 2018 1:46pm
i would first try to get forgiveness from the person who was affected from the cheating or lying. then it will be easier to forgive yourself
Anonymous
April 19th, 2018 9:22am
FOrgiving oneself is a difficulty job but it is need to be done to have happy life without any guilt we must forgive oneself because we are all humans afterall everyone makes mistake we to can and we must get a second chance to proof our self by overcoming our flaws and never commit them again .
MilkyHoneyTea
April 21st, 2018 3:04am
You are human. Apologize and mean it, don't look for them to forgive you. Just let them know you regret your actions. Think about why you did it and how you can avoid doing it again.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 3:40pm
We are human, and we make mistakes. The first thing you need to do is accept what you have done, and learn how to cope with it positively.
AprylFools
April 29th, 2018 11:19am
This is a hard one to cope with. Though firstly, try to recall the reasons as to why you lied or cheated to begin with. Perhaps things were rocky in the relationship? With the reason in mind, you need to also try and remember that you're entilted to make mistakes, just be sure to learn from them!
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2018 5:32pm
I think admitting the fact of what I did, apologizing and correcting the mistake would be the ideal thing to forgive myself.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2018 5:12am
I often say the truth to the person that i lied to and hope for their forgiveness. And it makes me feel better
Anonymous
May 12th, 2018 3:21am
Since I am a religious person, I found that praying helped. I also from another standpoint tried to own up to my actions and build stronger relationships with those I hurt in the past. Last but not least, I moved forward and didn’t repeat the mistake again.
Anonymous
May 12th, 2018 4:26pm
Never do it again. Give yourself a second chance, for your own good and the people whom you've possibly hurt with your actions.
Briwes911
May 12th, 2018 8:27pm
the best way to forgive your self for cheating or lying is to first understand why you were doing it.. after you understand that its easyer to forgive
Anonymous
May 16th, 2018 7:58pm
It’s important to tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Think about what drove you to make the choice to cheat or lie. Think about alternative actions that you can take in the future. See this lesson as an opportunity for growth.