Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
If possible, apologize to the person that you hurt. This may show the person that you regret hurting them, and they may forgive you. You yourself need to accept that you did something wrong but you must promise to not make the same mistake again.
Nobody is perfect. Instead of feeling guilty we should try to work hard on not repeating the mistake
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 8:12pm
So many people struggle with exactly this. People always focus on the victims and sometimes forget that it can be just as difficult on the other end. Just remember this, as cliche as it might sound. You are going to mess up in life because everybody messes up. There you go: everybody makes mistakes. There's no use beating yourself up about it because you can't go back and undo it, you can only learn from it.
Try to re-channel your energy into how you can prevent this feeling in the future. What lessons were learned? What would you do differently in the future?
Say sorry, and then remind your self, that everybody makes mistakes. We do have to make mistakes to learn something. Accept that you've done something wrong, give your self time to be mad about it, but also give your self time to let it go.
let them go, and move on find someone and talk about your problems to them let it all go and maybe have freedom and feel better
Standing up and asking for forgiveness to the one you harmed. You identify with your victim, because you don't want suffer the same they have suffered so, if you really feel that way, you should talk it with the one affected. You cannot achieve much by closing inside yourself.
This is a toughie. All I can suggest is to remember that you are only human — we’ve all hurt people, and we’ve all been hurt. But in spite of the mistakes you’ve made, they do not define you. You are not your choices. You matter, and you are worthy of forgiveness, especially your own.
Experience is nothing without mistakes and once you are aware that you've hurt someone, it's very easy to dump all of the blame on yourself. It will soon become apparent that you are the only one pointing the finger at yourself; if other people are blaming you, they will forget if not forgive over time. You have to learn from the moral of your mistake and take it along with you, not the blame but the knowledge and experience. With that, you can strive to avoid more mistakes and become a better person.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 8:44pm
Know that we all make mistakes and what happened had happened you cannot change what you did. But you can start over in a blank paper. If you can't rewrite what you did you still can write something new. Something good and beautiful. If you hurt someone then don't hurt anyone else again. Not just that but also be kind and take initiatives to help others and care about them always whisper to yourself "Be gentle " "Be gentle "also prevent other people from get hurt. Always remember you cannot change what you did. But you can control what you will do
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2017 10:48pm
Take the responsibility, empathise and think about why it happened. Then you are ready to be forgiven
I think forgiving yourself for hurting someone else requires self-compassion. Self-compassion means that we are in the present moment, and are able to learn from the mistakes we made, and seek to grow from the wounds we caused ourselves and others.
It will take time to heal and forgive yourself. Just know if they can forgive so can you. Yes it takes time but in the end it will be worth it.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 6:07am
-Ask yourself why you did it
-understand your motives
-realize the faults in your actions
-know that you can't undo your actions, but you can make better decisions in the future
Anonymous
October 14th, 2017 5:50pm
Try and be a better person overall. Especially to that person, if you are still in contact. Tell yourself, you're not gonna do what you did again because you don't want to hurt anyone or yourself because in the end, you suffered from guilt and regret. Compassion all around!
Anonymous
October 6th, 2017 12:25pm
Talk to yourself and make yourself believe that nobody is perfect and its all right to make mistakes sometimes. And the best way to correct it is realise the mistake and apologise and to the person you hurt and to yourself and feel better about it.
Know that in your weakest moments, you also hurt or disappoint people even if you don't want to. Try to move past it, don't dwell on it, and strive hard not to commit the same mistakes all over again.
it's best to realize that you are, after all, only human. You will make mistakes because in truth, we all do. You should never punish yourself for your mistakes though, because we all make them. Typically, we tend to be less lenient on ourselves when we'd forgive our loved ones in a heartbeat, but you should forgive yourself with the same passion.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2017 3:16pm
When we hurt someone intentionally or otherwise its normal and healthy to feel guilty. Forgiving yourself is important. You are only a human being and you made a mistake. Its not the end of life. Think about it. If someone else hurt you the way hurt the other and they were genuinely sorry then would you forgive them? If yes then you should forgive yourself too. We human beings are usually far more kinder with others than we are with our ownself. Learn to be kind to yourself.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:53pm
Remember that everyone is probably guilty of hurting others. Be encouraged that you care so much about another's pain. Concentrate on what good you can do for them now!
Everyone hurts someone once in awhile. But that doesn't mean you should think about it all the time. The best way i forgive myself is just to apologise to the person i hurt.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2017 3:05am
Forgiving yourself for hurting someone is really tricky. For me, in order to forgive myself I need to make sure that the person I hurt knows I am sorry and regretful of what happened, whether or not they choose to accept it.
In my personal experience, it was hard to forgive myself, a lot of people will say with time it will come, but with time not only do we realize what we have done but it necessary we give ourselves that, if we try to forgive ourselves right away it may be hard, it was what I did and it took time, we should let it come to us and journal down or mock draft our feelings about the situation daily to see how it changes.
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 9:18am
Try to reflect on why you did this and what is the context, were you acting upon anger ? maybe you were not in your normal mood when you did this.. find yourself excuses to help you forgive yourself
Acceptance. Accept all your mistakes. Do you feel guilty enough? Have you tried to approach them to explain yourself?
Start by asking forgiveness to the person you hurt. The next thing to do is accept what you did but forgive yourself for doing it. It's the past.
You don't want to do it again, right? You regret it, right? Accept what you did was wrong and then move past it to move onwards. You don't want it to happen again. We're human, we make mistakes but we learn from them - to be better. Be better afterwards, that's when you know you'll forgive yourself.
Understand you're only human. We all make mistakes and everyone has the chance to be forgiven. Don't be afraid to apologize to them.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 9:02am
For me it's important to apologize to the person you hurt and make very clear that you regret it. For forgiving myself I promise to myself that it won't happen again and make sure I understand why I did it so I can prevent that situation from happening again.
Apologize sincerely to that person, try find a time & work it out w/them. Don't beat yourself up too hard over the matter. People make mistakes and as long as you learnt from it, that's another important point too :)
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