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How to tell someone you're depressed without saying it?

236 Answers
Last Updated: 10/01/2020 at 4:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Sara Radford, MA Clinical Counseling

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Within the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship I help clients to explore themselves in a effort to create healing and lasting positive change.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 20th, 2016 1:24pm
Try asking them to hang out when your feeling depressed and show that its they way you feel. Hope helps
PlumQueen2988
October 26th, 2016 12:57am
Tell them how you're feeling lately, and why you're feeling this way. It should help your listener to put together the pieces to help you.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2016 10:05pm
Is there a reason for you not wanting to say it how it is? I've noticed people don't really understand how serious my situation is, without me spelling it out for them. They think you're 'just down', if you don't mention the word 'depressed'. Do you feel like you can talk to this about people in a safe environment?
Anonymous
November 18th, 2016 7:23am
Sometimes there is no way to let them know without using the exact words. You could try using words to substitute 'depressed' such as worried, anxious or feeling insecure. Or you could open the conversation to the topic, without explicitly saying it, by leaning towards their feelings, they may ask you about yours too.
EarlGreyHot
November 23rd, 2016 7:11am
Sometimes you can want to tell someone something, while a part of you is also afraid to say it. But it's not possible to tell someone something without saying it. If you're depressed, I advise you to tell people you can trust, even if it feels hard to do. If it's easier you could even write it down and give them a note instead of saying it out loud.
shellcare
November 26th, 2016 1:52am
Depression is a serious issue and is not a illness to play around with. If telling someone about your struggles crosses your mind at least once than you might feel the need to express yourself because you feel like you couldn't deal with it on your own. If you ever feel like you might need some help before it gets worse, tell someone.
LucyKech8
December 9th, 2016 4:03am
You tell them about how you're feeling at the moment, to tell them what's been bothering you from time to time. See if they can do anything to help, don't say you're depressed because then that person would think that you're lying or a wannabe emo. Just tell them how you feel and everything will be fine. I promise you that buddy
AgathaBritainbound
January 8th, 2017 4:43pm
It's not always easy to tell someone how you feel, especially someone who doesn't understand. But you need to make yourself heard and understood. Instead of just jumping in and saying you're depressed, try saying something like "I really feel down lately. I could use your support right now". Or try "I really could use someone to talk to right now about how I've been feeling." Most people do not understand depression or its impact on a persons' life. Take things slow. Help them to understand. It's the first baby step you need. Communication is the very lifeblood of any relationship.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2017 9:40am
You could simply say "I am not happy and I have not been happy for quite sometime now what should I do?"
Anonymous
February 15th, 2017 2:29pm
For me, it's when I stop talking to them. Not because I want to, I just isolate myself when I get depressed.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2017 11:18pm
Sometimes it's obvious through body language, movements, conversation etc. if you don't want to tell people that's fine however they may think you're off with them personally and take this to heart.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2017 4:32am
One approach to depression is seeing an individuals initial reaction. If you are worried about how they may respond it can be useful to begin with an open-ended question. See if they have ever known anyone with depression, or if they have ever suffered from depression. That would be one way to begin a conversation surrounding the feelings you may be experiencing.
xSierraxDx
March 17th, 2017 6:20pm
Why would you not want to say it? Being depressed is not a bad thing at all. Everyone goes through depression sometime in their life, Just tell the person "you've been feeling quite sad/down lately". They'll eventually take a hint, but once again, depression is not something to be ashamed of. So if you really feel daring, just be blunt with them and tell them you're feeling depressed.
JCUNewcastle
April 16th, 2017 6:13pm
The first step is coming to terms with your depression. One can't tell anybody he or she is depressed—verbally or not—until one first understands it for him- or herself. And while "beating around the bush" may not be an optimal path, some do not so easily feel comfortable sharing such intimate information. Everything from "I'm just tired," to "I just had a rough day at work," could be indicators of depression: if so, however, it calls for the vigilance of friends and family, both, lest some unspeakable tragedy strike all to quickly.
Fillorian
April 27th, 2017 6:14pm
Write them a letter telling them how you feel and explain that it's hard for you to speak about it, they must be someone you can trust without having to worry about them judging you
ourblueneighbourhood
April 30th, 2017 9:15am
There's not really a way. But it's important to reach out, to someone, anyone that you feel comfortable and safe with. I think most people would be surprised to find out that most people have experienced some form of depression; I stress this, be comfortable. You're already depressed, and there isn't any point in spending your energy on covering what's really going on.
HattieMae
April 30th, 2017 4:13pm
A lot of the time someone's demenour can give us more information than what someone says. The perosn you're talking to may already suspect a change in your mood based on your body language. But if you're looking for conversation starters, you could send them an article, story, comic, quote than sums up how you're feeling. I find that some quotes really sum up my situtions sometime, that they're easier to share than me telling them.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2017 6:15pm
Explain your feelings to them and explain why you feel that way. They might start to understand once you open up
Anonymous
June 9th, 2017 6:49am
Unfortunately no one will know exactly how you're feeling if you don't tell them. Maybe try writing a letter or sending the person links to depression symptoms online and saying you relate to it.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2017 10:05pm
People are not mind readers and miss things very easily. The best way to let someone know that you are depressed is to tell them.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2017 6:34pm
Lately I've been feeling very sad and I don't know what to do. I'm having extremely upsetting thoughts and things aren't like they used to be.
AndyP84
June 28th, 2017 1:23pm
There is a lot on my mind right now, and it's making it hard for me to think clearly. I hope you understand, and I'm doing my best to work through it.
musicismysanity
July 9th, 2017 11:02pm
Try and tell them you've been feeling down lately and that you have been struggling and your not sure what to do and you want them to try and talk to you and help you :)
giggleShoulder61
July 27th, 2017 1:36am
You might like to try to let them know about the symptoms you are struggling with and let them come to the conclusion on their own. Other times, it's more helpful to be direct in telling them about what you are going through. In the end, the decision is up to you and it's quite brave of you to seek help.
mermaiden74
August 2nd, 2017 4:06am
There are many ways that human beings can express that they are feeling depressed without saying it. Body language might show them moving less and more slowly through their day. Tone of voice might show them speaking in a lower monotone. Their personal hygiene might be less than ideal. Hearing and speaking might be greatly impaired or diminished. Sudden and unexpected trembling lips, tears and keening might indicate depression in someone. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or observe them in someone else, reach out for help or to help. Be there for someone.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2017 5:00am
It's not easy and I've even spent approximately the last 10 years of my life wondering the same thing. The only thing that has kept me alive is to go against the humanistic grain and take note of what tiny, positive attributes that actually do exist in the world and when that's not enough, I think about the people I would hurt if I were to disappear from being depressed. I know it sounds cliche but when your holding on by threads and caught in a mental landslide, it can be hard to make proactive decisions when the world seems to be against you. I feel like when I do finally say something to someone, it will just get blurred out when I've past the point where none of the usual methods of coping work for me anymore. The truth and reality is that no one will understand you, that hasn't dealt with depression. It's just the way the world is, I can only suggest making a friend that can understand your troubles and heart aches, even though you may find yourself in the predicament of disliking everybody and everything like I do, you have to give yourself hope, even a false hope that you know to be false. I often wonder if my life would be better off just waking up and magically having the mindset of the majority of the population that are ignorant to most things that depress you. Such as the way the world works or how stupid people are and the order that they prioritize their lives and what they make important. I don't know how to say it but just hang in there and maybe make a friend, with as little detail as possible, that's the best I have to offer because the answer will be different for every one of us out there that's like this. It's a hard life but just find your light. Find what illuminates you and if that light happens to be telling your loved ones what you deal with then the path to finding the proper method of doing so belongs to YOU. Good luck and love from me.
GivingstonTreegull
August 16th, 2017 5:05am
Chances are that if you are depressed, the people you want to tell already know! The symptoms can be very telling. However you should never be afraid to speak up and let someone know how you are feeling. Even just speaking about it could give you a new perspective and make you feel so much better! If you don't feel like you can tell anyone you know, you can always ask a professional for help! Depression is a very common issue and no one should be ashamed of it. If you need to speak up, just find that person who makes you feel comfortable. They won't judge you for opening up.
radiantTruth95
August 19th, 2017 9:41pm
I've been feeling low or sad lately. I've been sleeping a lot and eating very little. Sometimes I have a low self esteem... etc. Describe feelings and symptoms of your depression.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 8:04pm
Tell them what you feel like. Tell them if you sleep a lot or can't get motivated. If you feel tired all the time, tell them that. Most will figure it out.
Anonymous
October 18th, 2017 8:38pm
I have done this recently and I said how I had really harsh thoughts on certain things. I've also said how I felt like I couldn't feel any positive moods.