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How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?

94 Answers
Last Updated: 08/22/2021 at 9:40am
How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Katherine Aucoin, Transpersonal Counselling Psychology


I offer you compassion and support on your unique journey. I look forward to working with you to heal your emotional wounds and find more freedom and joy.

Top Rated Answers
February 21st, 2016 5:02pm
Honestly, there is no specific way to tell them. You just go with whatever feels best. For me, i was laying in bed with him, and i just came out with it. He was shocked at my outburst, but was fine with the whole thing. Honestly, you needn't worry.
February 21st, 2016 11:03pm
Well, you should just tell them! If they love you, it won't affect your relationship, except maybe making them love you even more.
February 25th, 2016 5:11am
Sometimes diving into the deep end can be scary for you and the other person. It can be hard to know where to start. Even just by asking for help and by telling your partner that you are struggling, can help create a starting point. The conversation can then be gently guided in the right direction by both people together.
February 25th, 2016 12:42pm
darling,i have been feeling depressed and need you to help me feel s not you , so please don't think it is .I just need your support to get through this .I love you very much
February 25th, 2016 2:24pm
You have to sit them down at a good time and do it when you feel comfortable. You have to make sure that they are understanding of you and your feelings.
February 26th, 2016 8:25pm
You be open and honest with them. Explain the situation and tell them what feelings you experience. Asking them to support you can help them see a way to help you
February 27th, 2016 2:12pm
Just be honest. Tell him/her your feelings :) In a relationship.., you have to let it all out and express your feelings/emotions to the other individual.
February 28th, 2016 12:18am
Don't expect them to know how to respond,and taking your time with it with it may help both of you but just do you they shouldn't expect anything else
February 28th, 2016 3:16pm
Sometimes it can be hard to tell when a loved one is depressed. Perhaps they have recently stopped participating in some of their regular activities such as sports or social gatherings. There might be a change in the music they listen to. Look for unusual changes in your partners eating and sleeping patterns.
February 28th, 2016 7:22pm
When I was in a relationship, I was up front about it. I explained to my partner that I suffered from depression. I made it clear to them that it was nothing they did, but something I have had for awhile now. I am very blunt when it comes to things like this, and just said "I need to tell you something important about me that may affect our relationship." Then, from there, I explained that some things trigger me, and that they were not obligated to try and help. They were very understanding, and it's a good conversation to have.
March 2nd, 2016 9:08pm
Sometimes it's easier to confess to strange person that we are suffering from depression than to tell that to our love ones. It's because we care for their reaction and because we have some expectations about how they should or shouldn't react. It's good to choose right time and place. Both of you shouldn't be tired/angry/unfocused or distracted. From my experience is good to bring up some event when you suffered through depression and your partner witnesses it and explain that it wasn't just a bad mood, that you have some serious issues and that you would appreciate some support and help while dealing with it. Try to describe how you feel and how such depression influences your relationships/work/or ability to function in general. Do not exclude your partner from looking for help/solution. Try to understand that it's also difficult for him to see you suffering without any means to stop it or help you.
March 3rd, 2016 4:13am
Be honest with them and tell them if your depressed and if they don't know what to say right away don't be worried depression can be hard on both people in a relation ship but if they love you they will stay and if they don't than they are not good enough for you.
March 3rd, 2016 11:10pm
Telling a significant other about your depression is not easy, and it's not easy for them to hear it either. A lot of people won't have the response you would like or had hoped for so when telling them be aware of that and don't expect your ideal response. Tell them you're not in a good place and be honest with them. Honesty is key in every situation of every relationship. Telling her/him about your depression may even bring you closer together. Say what you feel and let them know the truth.
March 4th, 2016 12:30am
If your boyfriend or girl friend loves and cares about you . Then why would you be hesitant in telling them about your depression ? There is no right or wrong way to tell someone you have depression . You just need to see the right situation, time and place to confine in your partner
March 5th, 2016 12:57pm
You can sit down your boyfriend/girlfriend and let them know that you have something important and serious you would like to discuss with them. The best way to do it is to tell them directly, then ask them if they have any questions.
March 6th, 2016 5:16am
I think you should sit them down in person, and just straight up say you have depression, explain to them what it's like and that it's a mental/emotional issue you have no control over, and why you have depression if you know why and you're comfortable;e sharing. Make sure they understand it's not just being 'sad,' and that they will love and support you through it
March 6th, 2016 9:34am
Based on personal experience, I just came out and told by boyfriend. Although, we were friends before we started dating and he was who I confined everything with. I basically just started off telling him that I take medicine for a couple things, but it's just to help to make me feel happier. He was very open and understanding. It has helped our relationship because now if he knows I'm in a bad mood or if I am feeling off, then he actually knows what's causing those feelings. It has made us a lot closer know that he knows about my depression.
March 6th, 2016 1:09pm
Sit them down and then tell them exactly how you feel/been feeling. How long you have felt this way for etc. they should understand and still love you for who you are no matter what because they are your boyfriend/girlfriend.
March 6th, 2016 8:18pm
I understand you. Say: "I have depression; a disease that makes me sad. I'm like everybody else, I just get sad sometimes more than you do." Smile, and don't try to make it a big deal!
March 7th, 2016 6:23am
Choose a situation where we feel cool and have to listen no there will be no disturbance and make him understand
March 10th, 2016 1:38am
It can be overwhelming and frightening to share your feelings of depression with your significant other. Make some time to be alone with your partner when you are both relaxed. When telling your partner, let them know that it isn't their fault or anything they have or haven't done. Starting the conversation this way should help avoid a defensive reaction. Be honest about your feelings and let them know what, if anything, you are planning to do about your depression. Let them know if you need help from them, and ask for specific things. For instance, instead of saying "I hope you will be here for me", be more specific, "I could use more hugs and praise from you while I am going through this". End the conversation with a positive thought about how their support has been helpful.
March 11th, 2016 5:41pm
I know it's kind of embarrassing but then again, they deserve to know it. So, pick up a quiet place and tell him/her that you're depressed. He/she might help you out!
March 11th, 2016 10:24pm
You should make it a face to face conversation. Explain to him/her exactly how you've been feeling. Let them know your thoughts. You should open up and try not to hold anything back. If you're nervous about approaching this conversation then let them know that.
March 13th, 2016 12:11pm
first of all explain thy didn't cause this. explain how you feel and tell them about the steps you are taking to get through this situation. please do it as soon as you can, don't delay sometimes we people take too long to be honest about it until its too late and your relationship is ruined. in my case my boyfriend is the one who picked up that am depressed before i even told him but am glad he's sticking by my side and helping me through it.
March 16th, 2016 1:53am
You should be very calm and open when you tell them! Be in a private place and be straightforward. They should understand.
March 16th, 2016 10:11pm
i believe that couples should be able to be honest with each other and assist each others in time of need, with that said, i think that asking for help by simply asking for it might yield the best results
March 17th, 2016 9:14pm
Ask to talk with them privately, and that it is a personal issue. Once you two get to a private place, bring up your depression issue.
March 17th, 2016 9:42pm
Sit down with them and have an honest conversation. Explain to them the reason for your depression and work on it together.
March 18th, 2016 4:00pm
Telling a love interest that you have depression is like telling them you have diabetes or asthma. It is something that you live with and it all comes down to whether or not you are willing to take the next step. Before telling your loved one about your depression, you have to admit it to yourself and accept it. When you have accepted it, telling your loved one won't be difficult.
March 18th, 2016 11:14pm
You just explain to them the things that cause you to have depression and explain to them that you need company sometime.