I hate myself for being fat and ugly. What can I do?

109 Answers
Last Updated: 12/05/2017 at 1:39pm
I hate myself for being fat and ugly. What can I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Veronica Wade-Hampton, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I enjoy working with individuals of all capacities as I view the role of therapist as one in which you help the client learn to cope with the pressures of daily life.

Top Rated Answers
humminghawk
April 14th, 2016 6:44pm
There are plenty of ways to improve your situation, but the first and most important step is to accept the way you are RIGHT NOW. So you are fat and you are ugly -- fine! That's how you are. There's nothing wrong with that, and anyone who has a problem with that just has a problem -- don't make their problem your problem. Once you have accepted yourself as you are, then you can calmly and lovingly choose your course of action. Do you like being fat? Yes? Then your main goal is to love yourself the way you are and to stop generating self-hatred based on our culture's definition of physical beauty. If you don't like being fat, then do something about it. Exercise. Eat healthy. Only you can make the change you desire. Peace, Devin
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 9:48am
Every person has a different kind of metabolism, someone can eat 3 pizzas and not be fat while some gain weight by eating 1 pizza. If you want to lose wight then a good combination of diet and exercise should be practiced. Most importantly you need to work on your thoughts. Accept yourself. Change what can be changed and accept the things which cannot. Living is the world of social media, we have been aware of only one body type that doesn't mean your body type is bad, it's just different.
colourfulMagic87
April 15th, 2016 11:49pm
There are some groups which I know which have helped me gain confidence, have handy tips and will even help you by going though a food eating plan and learning about what to eat and what to try to avoid, it is very helpful, and I have managed to loose 2 stone, everyone helps each other and supports each as we are all on at different places.
neverendingSunrise99
April 29th, 2016 5:17pm
If you won't accept and start liking yourself, then nobody ever really will. Always remember those words. Love yourself and the world will start loving you too. Feel okay in your own skin, you are beautiful.
MoonlitHaze
May 3rd, 2016 5:14pm
Learn that your outer appearance has nothing to do with your inner self and does not define your worth as a person. Most people change pretty drastically throughout their lives appearance wise. Regardless, you shouldn't worry too much on the things you can't control. It is not your fault you were born a certain way. The first step that I think would be helpful is to treat yourself as if you were your own kid. Sometimes you just have to nurture and love yourself. And if you are concerned with your weight, remember, you appearance is temporary and it is very possible to change. If you feel as if your weight is unhealthy then find healthier diet options (and I mean healthy!). Sometimes just cutting a little this and a little that out of your diet can make a world of difference, such as junk food a sugary drinks. If you find yourself ugly, well, you can't change how you were born. I don't believe that you were born thinking you were ugly. I bet that others have made you think that you aren't good enough. And in the end the only person who can determine that is you. Maybe switch up your style, get a haircut, dye your hair. It never hurts to play with your looks and find what you like :)
HeyItsCatie
April 24th, 2016 4:04am
Have a long bath and relax. When you finish, look at yourself in the mirror and think about 3 things you like about your body (no matter how big or small those things maybe). When ever you feel bad about your body or when people criticise your body, remind yourself about those 3 things. We are all human, we are all different, we are all imperfect but we are all beautiful. :)
WOlfDima
April 21st, 2016 2:41pm
Look.. First of all there are 2 types of fat. The first type is the chubby fat, and believe it or not a lot of opposite sex people love chubby people.... The other fat is over weight, if you're in that column, then what you have to do is exercising.. If its hard to do I have a well constructed diet plan thanks for my nutritionist 101 degree... Contact me on 7cups for more info And remember fat maybe there but you're never ugly... I'm not saying this to make you feel better... I never do that.. But truly fat and ugly does not go together.. So stop calling yourself fat and ugly.. You're just fat that's it. And I hope its chubby fat 😊
TheBlackPanther
May 9th, 2016 7:59pm
It depends on how you define yourself. Do you define youself by your looks only ( which are temporary, after death everyone looses their beauty or ugliness ), or you define yourself by what you are, what you can teach the world, how intelligent you are, how loving you are, how you can guide someone facing situations similar to what you have faced. how you can enlighten the world with your wisdom....blah blah. You can add yours to this list or crete your own list. External looks ( which can be changed anytime ) are just distracting you from achieving your true potential. Don't pay any heed to critics who cannot see your inner beauty. You just have to train your mind. You need to shift your focus from external looks to what you truly are as a soul. Doing this would greately improve your self-confidence and self-esteem. And this happiness would also not be temporary and fleeting as it is the ultimate truth about you, which truly defines you. Even if looks still bother you, you can go for many weight loss programs out there. If you want, you can combine both and have the best of both worlds. The choice is yours. All the best (with love) and tck care
pixydust
April 28th, 2016 4:20pm
hey, i used to feel the same way as you do. i hated myself, judged myself way too much. i even cried myself when i looked myself in the mirror. its all about insecurities that kills people. we should just ignore it. ignore about what people think that makes you feel not confident. instead of hating yourself, you could just start a healthy diet&do workouts. you'll appreciate the result soon as long as you do it without any pressure. about you being ugly, i am 100% not sure that you are. because we're all beautiful in our own way, and sooner or later you'll find your true love that will love you the way you are. be happy, dear! your beautiful:)
Anonymous
December 5th, 2017 1:39pm
First, you are not ugly, i do not see you right now but i do not have to see you in order to know so. Nobody is ugly in the terms of body or face. Being fat, if you do not like what you look like, then you can always try to improve, change or anything. But if it is not a problem for your health, and you feel comfortable in your skin, then you should not worry about it. Would you hate anyone just because they are fat and does not look like what exactly you would like them to look like? No? Then why are you doing that to yourself?
tinyCat07
June 15th, 2016 11:15pm
Look at yourself from a different angle. That 'fat and ugly' is not you. I know how cliché it sounds but really, your inner self is important. Your perception of yourself is important. This is really popular 'hack' if you will, is to write messages on Post-Its and stick them anywhere. Things like 'Your hair looks lovely today' or 'This shirt does really suit you', similar stuff
Anonymous
April 19th, 2016 12:48pm
well first of all just try to love your self the way you are or at least stop thinking you are the only fat and ugly person in the world. You know whoever or whatever you are, is you nobody else. World does not end here. It is not the only standard to measure goodness. If you think good and with pure heart, this is your actual beauty. Do not over think about your problem, because it will make you worry all the time. Secondly, nothing is impossible, you can try to become physically fit by working out, exercise, eat healthy and by trying to remain as much happy as you can. Give yourself some time. The day you will stop worrying and overthinking about yourself you will feel better and do not stuff your head with stereotypical beauty standards. Nobody is perfect. I am sure exercise and healthy diet will make you loose weight. And one more thing... feel beautiful and you will look beautiful.
Anonymous
April 20th, 2016 5:01pm
I hate hearing that people feel like this- the world is a cruel place. The best thing i can suggest to do is to try change your attitude on yourself, noone is perfect and im almost certain there are not many people who are completely happy with their body. If you would like to loose weight, there are many programmes that can support you through this- but never do it for someone else or feel you have to do it to please other people. The first step to happiness is loving the skin youre in, you need to work on your confidence ♡
yourenotalone96
April 21st, 2016 11:37am
Balance your thoughts. if you want to take action, do so, but do it safely. eat healthy and try doing 20 minutes of exercise, or even just being more active. once you've done this, not only will you start to see the difference, but you'll feel good. write notes on your mirror.. 'you are beautiful' 'today is a fresh day' 'don't stop, you can do it' keep motivational quotes around the house. To feel pretty, treat yourself to a facial and a makeover. don't be shy to try out new things.
SweetUnicorn
April 20th, 2016 10:39pm
Look at yourself into the mirror until you can see how beautiful you are. Everybody is beautiful but sometimes it's simply hard to see it.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2016 11:26pm
I used to hate myself for being over weight and i thought i was ugly before and sometimes i still do. I want you to look in the mirror every morning and say "i am beautiful" even if you don't believe it i want you to do it everyday until it becomes true in your mind. That is what really helped me and if you think you're fat, which you're likely not, exercise once and a while but keep doing it make is a routine. Its not only good for losing weight, but too feel good about yourself.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 7:37am
It's no instant solution, dealing with self esteem is really really tough and it's sometimes even harder when people tell you you're wrong and "stop thinking that, you're beautiful" instead of offering empathetic support. One thing I know helps me is to look at pictures of people who look like me, and every time I catch myself thinking I envy them, they're beautiful, they're more attractive than me - then I can step back and realize - wait they look like me, and if they can be loved I guess I can too. I like to talk to other people in the body positive movement and hashtags online who know what I'm feeling. A reminder I've heard echoed a lot is "I can be fat AND attractive, loved, beautiful. I'm not the "norm" of attractive, but what makes my kind of attractive less than that? Nothing. My feelings are real and my feelings are valid but the pressure I feel is based on made up ideals."
Hameidolol
April 30th, 2016 12:36pm
Again, it is acceptable to some degree to "hate yourself". Resisting the negative feelings would only create more tension and hatred. Stop resisting, and start observing your thoughts and your feelings. Focus on adopting a positive BEHAVIOR towards yourself rather than trying to change the way you feel. You can not always control your feelings, but you sure can control your behavior.
Bettershapes
April 22nd, 2016 4:50pm
You should never hate yourself, There is nothing to hate about yourself. You may not be happy about your weight, but there is alot you could do to fix that. Working out is easy, even if it's only for 30 mins a day. If you're dedicated, a few changes can go a long way. Everytime you go to the washroom today, i want you to do 20 squats. This will get you started
Meganizzm
April 22nd, 2016 10:13pm
You should try to learn to love yourself for who you are. You can always boost your confidence and self-esteem my working out regulary and eating cleanly.
KatieThePixie
May 12th, 2016 12:26pm
Sometimes our thoughts can become a bit skewed, especially if we are going through a hard time in our lives. The pressure to perfectly mirror societal ideals affects everyone without us even realising it does. Think: how often do you find articles in magazines about celebrity diets and images of photoshopped models on billboards? Unless you have a medical reason for needing to lose weight, it should be something that you personally want, regardless of what you might think anybody else has to say about your body shape. The only ugly people I have ever encountered were ugly on the inside, and not the outside. As long as you are a decent person, you are beautiful to me and a lot of people that care about you.
DeapOcean30
June 3rd, 2016 6:23am
Love yourself for having a mirror and food, love yourself for having the chance to be fat because there are so many people who crave for food everyday. Now if you hate yourself then work yourself out, get over yourself and instead of crying and feeling bad, change that. Eat healthier, do excersise.
FreeBlackBird
June 11th, 2016 9:05pm
Body image issues are a sirius thing, it's never just "I hate myself for being fat and ugly", there's always an inner motivation, a deep reason why you started thinking you're not good, or right, or enough. Body is just the outside, it's the inside what really matters
healingSnowflake51
June 12th, 2016 11:35am
I know it is hard to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. I know how it feels but you can do that and instead of listing all the features you don't like about yourself, try and list all the thing you do like about yourself even if they're small like your eyes or nails. You may also ask people close or not so close to you to do this activity with you as listening to someone saying nice things about you could make you feel better.
Anonymous
October 31st, 2016 1:33am
There are two different things at play here: your physical appearance can be improved, but also your self-confidence can be improved. It's more important that you love yourself. Physical attraction is in the eye of teh beholder, and people should love you only for your emotional/mental states and not for your body. Supportive people that deserve you will not judge you for your body. Try being more supportive to yourself. Loving yourself can include changing your eating habits, taking more walks, treating yourself to a massage, telling yourself good things about how you feel and look every day, and trying to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Good luck!
Chingu
April 21st, 2016 5:15am
Smile! If you think thoughts like that, you will turn fat and ugly. But if you love yourself for who you are and accept yourself, you will become the most beautiful person in the area! Don't compare, become the standard!
thisrideisawildone
April 21st, 2016 12:49pm
Write 5 things that you love about yourself each day. It's difficult, but appreciating yourself is important. You may only focus on the negatives about yourself, such as believing you are fat and ugly, but there are positives too and recognising those will help on your journey to loving yourself. Ask your friends what they love about you.
Markimoo
April 21st, 2016 2:47pm
I am sure you are not fat or ugly. I am sure you are perfect because you are you. Everyone is their worst critic and always see themselves as ugly or not good enough even though this is VERY untrue. Just be yourself. There is no need to worry about being fat or ugly because you are you. That is all that matters.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 11:39am
ok look i previously felt this way there are alot of things you can do to start go for a morning walk this may seem littl but in time you can do more exercise
Anonymous
April 24th, 2016 2:11pm
I think ugly is not really about your physical beauty. This is all about the souls. You only have to find out thee right persons, who will not judge you, who will understand the beauty of your soul.