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I have a good life why am I not happy?

250 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 9:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
SunlessSky
March 28th, 2018 11:36am
Sometimes we feel like we're lacking something in our lives even if on a surface level we have everything we could ever want. And that's completely normal, because when things are okay, we slowly start noticing small things that we are still lacking, which contribute to us feeling big lack of something. Lack of happiness is what happens when some of your needs are not met. Maybe it's the need of affection? Artistic expression? Lasting fulfillment? Whatever it may be, it's definitely worth looking at. I wish that you find your happiness soon 💕
lovelyAquaTeal520
March 30th, 2018 12:22pm
Try to move from the usual routine. Having a good life is important, but more important is your mental health. First you have to look around, what seems wrong you are not happy. Then try to do new things, to browse and find what you really want to do. Any assumption you can make with yourself can lead to something you really want to do.
peacefulHug92
April 12th, 2018 3:02pm
Happiness doesn't come to from exteriors - it actually comes from interiors. It's likely that something within you isn't happy - perhaps your self esteem is low, maybe you aren't getting fulfillment from things or even have some sort of depressive episode. Remember you can always discuss this with the 7cups listeners!
Norea
May 11th, 2018 5:39pm
Because happiness comes from within. Look inside and try and find what is missing. It is usually not material things that make us happy but love, genuine connection and self development/growth and to become our authentic self. Look inside and ask yourself; what am I missing? What would make me truly happy?
richyShiny39
June 13th, 2018 11:58pm
It is the person who in my opinion makes happiness by doing constructive or calming things you like. You will have lows in life but to me life is like a roller coaster so build yourself back up after the fall down. Life has ups and down and we choose the attitude in which to make of the best things and improve. Then find out who you are and what makes you truly happy and it will take effort but this life is yours so make no mistakes with adapting to something not as good for you. Keep learning on this journey and when you find happiness share a smile with others as well.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2018 8:26am
Maybe it's because you haven't found your self and your life lacks the aspects that make it fully complete and pleasurable for you, maybe you're living your life pretending to be someone else who you're not instead of being your true self, because if you where your true self, youd be totally happy. Maybe it's because you're trying to live up to everyone's expetations because of societal views, so it feels like playing a role or character in real life and how much longer can you do that
Anonymous
November 8th, 2018 11:49am
Good life as defined by you??!! Other people's definition of good life.. you dont have to set into a mould of others opinions and expectations... We create our own happiness... Include small fun things in your routine which you really enjoy... Doinv same things repeatedly may be boring like feeling like trapped in never ending cycle... Break the cycle.. do things differently or do different things... Happiness comes from within... Treat yourself better.. love yourself more.. enjoy being yourself... you are special and unique... Share your good deeds with others... Changing perception can change the reality.. I hope you to find your happiness..
Anonymous
April 24th, 2019 12:37am
It's possible that you may feel like something is missing in your life. Maybe you have a nice family and go to a nice school as well as live in a nice house, but you don't really have any friends to talk to. It could also be mood swings and this can just be a stage in your life. This is common during the adolescent stage. To try and fix this situation, it would be a great idea to try new things such as traveling, participating in new hobbies and activities, meeting new people, etc. For some, our brains are fixed on not wanting to be happy and the giver of these thoughts can be called "the demons inside your head." What would be best is to distract yourself, try new things, and do what makes you happy!
ThankYouForLettingMeTryingToHelp
October 19th, 2019 12:12pm
Are you looking for happiness on things inside of you? Are you doing things that motivate you? Are you trying to provide happiness to oher people as well? Have you checked with a doctor/specialist there is no physical condition for your lack of happiness? Do you have friends/a support network that will cheer you up when you feel sad? Besides having a good life, are most of your habits healthy? Are you the first (or maybe second) best-friend of yourself? If your answer to one or more of the questions above is "No", then that may be a good reason about why you are not happy despite having a good life :)
MoustacheMan1899
January 10th, 2020 9:11pm
Science has proven that most of dissatisfaction feelings or other painful ones (leading to heart ache, loneliness or depression) can be radically suppressed by GRATITUDE. However, most of us in today's society are very busy handling our own problems, relationships, future let alone our emotions! So we can't blame ourselves for forgetting basic instincts like gratitude. But hey, now that we heard about it again: let's all feel better by thanking the universe (or God if you are religious) for all that it gave to us from that everyday human body carrying us through the adventure that life is that we have, to that life itself being so full of surprises!
plushUnicorn4912
June 17th, 2020 3:17pm
Even though there's nothing wrong with your current life, the reason of your unhappiness might be in the fact that this wasn't what you've envisioned or you're not the person you want to be. It's normal that not everything is perfect and never will be the exact vision that you had. But, you have to stay true to what you want from your environment and what you want to be. It's like if someone gave you a nice haircut with short hair. Doesn't look bad, but you won't be satisfied if you wanted your hair long. It's like if you bought a Ferrari because it was the most expensive car you could afford but you like the design of a lower priced car. It's good, but it isn't what you wanted for you. You need to ask yourself who you want to be and if you are this person or not, and that might be the reason of your unhappiness.
1997Turtle
April 29th, 2015 7:46am
because having a good life doesnt always stop the brain chemicals being all messed up. so that could be part of it.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2015 9:43am
It can be mental affections... you dont have to have a great life to be happy. Its very individual what makes you happy.
MidnightPanda
September 14th, 2015 1:19am
Having a "good life" doesn't make you automatically happy. Thoughts and feelings are the important part. You may have a roof over your head and electronics, but that doesn't change the way your thought process goes, or how you're feeling
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 4:23am
I think that sometimes you need to be sad first before you can be happy. If nothing is making you sad, therefore it is hard to be happy because there is nothing to contrast that feeling. In my experience, I found that I was happier coming out of grieving than before the grieving period began because it felt like I was on a good path for once.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 7:20am
Find your since of self fulfilment. Do something to better yourself each day and put yourself and your needs before others you may find yourself slowly becoming happier.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2016 11:52am
The term "good" is subjective. While maybe you feel you are more fortunate than others or maybe you possess things that a lot of people would envy, only you know what can truly make you happy. Being thankful for what you have is a good first step, but you can always keep exploring. Sometimes it may be depression hampering our ability to be happy. Try to identify and reflect causes and effects in your life.
2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 10:25pm
Despite having a good life, perhaps you should look into what you're missing! It sounds like you're not content, so how about you venture out and experience new opportunities. Maybe then you'll realize what you're lacking
highoffesme
October 2nd, 2016 7:22pm
I'm going through the same thing I wonder why I'm not happy but the truth is I am I'm just blinded by the little problems that are being given
SpreadYourWingsAndLearnToFly
October 7th, 2016 5:07pm
It could be your past that is affecting you. Maybe it is something in the family, or friends that is bothering you. Wish you could clarify why you are not happy, I could answer this better if you did. :)
intern
October 15th, 2016 3:59am
Something is missing from your personal life maybe you have everything but still not happy with your life
smoltimes
October 16th, 2016 2:31am
happiness comes in time, you will learn and accept it when you're ready for it. Just keep on pushing on and try to get through it. It only gets better, i promise that.
WorkInProgress11
October 19th, 2016 1:33pm
It sounds like you may be feeling depressed. It doesn't matter how "good" or "bad" our lives are - depression doesn't discriminate. Your feelings are valid, even if you can't pinpoint an exact reason for them. Usually, if you're clinically depressed, it has to do with your brain chemistry. Depression is like an illness, so don't feel like you're overreacting or weak. Plenty of people with seemingly great lives deal with depression.
generousShiny73
October 20th, 2016 4:04pm
Because of anxiety issues, i struggle socially and sometimes i will have panic attacks. I have nice group of friends and a supportive family yet i still feel this way
HelpWisely
October 23rd, 2016 7:33am
Because your happiness is based on outside situations and circumstances, these things give temporary pleasure and comfort by not real happiness. True happiness comes from within you and is not based on outside situations, this happiness is like standing strong in the center of a hurricane.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 10:11am
It could be depression, the thing people despise due to how it hits when it has no reason to. You could dig deeper into this.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 12:24am
It's healthy to acknwoledge your unhappiness, or any emotion, even if you don't currently understand it. Emotions are a way of our body telling us something isn't right. Your life may be "good" in some definition, but something is upsetting your day-to-day well-being; only you will know for sure what that thing is. With enough soul-searching, you may be able to figure it out and make a plan to recover your happiness.
GingerCatGirl
October 27th, 2016 12:26am
It could be that you are suffering from depression. Depression doesn't discriminate and affects people who have good lives as well as bad ones.
MagicalKoala
November 9th, 2016 4:11pm
Sometimes happiness can't be measured by things. You have to know yourself better to know what being happy means because everyone has different definitions.
HogwartsPride
November 11th, 2016 1:40am
Often times, depression or other things can get in the way of happiness. It's perfectly normal to feel this way, but if you are really unhappy, try seeking professional help.