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I have a good life why am I not happy?

250 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 9:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
ImpossibleCube
November 17th, 2016 2:41am
How do you define good life ? Is it good according to other people's standards of what a good life "looks like" in terms of images/dreams/possessions and values ? Sometimes when we feel down/stuck, it's a sign to reevaluate what is important to us and what makes us happy. Hope this helped.
CM94
November 17th, 2016 1:38pm
In my opinion there is not such thing as "good life", stereotyping and trying to feel the way society dictates by normalizing its individual components and blurring personality limits makes individuals feel unhappy. There is nothing wrong in wanting some different things, an unusual life, to have own goals... Variety is what makes life rich and fascinating
Anonymous
November 20th, 2016 8:45pm
Having a good life may not always make you happy. There are ups and downs and some people need people need encouragement through the lows to get back to being happy.
GreenWellies
December 16th, 2016 5:10pm
Hello. This is my first answer on this site. We were born in such an imperfect world, with all these billions of small and little problems. It is only natural to have a hard time being wholly happy in a society with so many issues. Nevertheless, there are also good times. Times that make us smile. You might have little happy moments now, but you can use them as reminders that happiness does exist. And it is reachable, with a little effort every day. I hope I've helped a bit.
Darryl
December 21st, 2016 2:53pm
happiness is a stae of mind. It's something that no one can decide for you. It's you who decide how you feel about yourself. Sometimes in life we tend to deny ourselves from being happy because maybe we feel so much sorrow that leads us to think about negative thoughts. We tried to do our very best to overcome this feeling but the world just wont allow you get out of the sadness net. The only way to make ourselves feel better is to think that life doesnt end as bad as what we think. Life's troubles are best given to us to fight it and show everyone we can be happy no matter how life could be as bad as a thunderstorm with lightning strikes. We should be the best person to comfort ourselves.
Oval
January 1st, 2017 4:37am
You can have all the things in the world and still be unhappy. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful, or anything like that. Someone rich can be sad and someone poor can be happy. You can be loved by everyone around you and still be extremely depressed. Happiness is something else entirely, and you have to find the thing(s) that make you happy. Maybe they aren't tangible, maybe they aren't people, and maybe they are. Happiness does not depend on if you have or don't have food, shelter, clothing, toys, family, etc.
Amberbipolarpanic
January 7th, 2017 2:18pm
Happiness is relative. Many people equate happiness to how many friends they have, or if they're in a relationship, or how much money they make. Those things aren't what make true happiness. In order to be truly happy, you must look inward and be happy with what you see. The only thing that matters in your happiness, is you. :)
Anonymous
January 8th, 2017 7:57am
What do you think is bothering you? Do you think that you may currently be experiencing depression? Perhaps, there is an underlying issue that you have not yet addressed/resolved that is bothering you now.. I'd suggest talking to a listener or consulting a therapist to see what that may be. They may be able to help you to find ways to better enjoy your life. Even though we may realize that our life is perfect and that we have everything we need (by the way, props on you for acknowledging that!), sometimes we may feel empty and/or unhappy anyway. I can assure you that you are not alone in that.
caringFriend21
January 8th, 2017 9:18pm
If you have a good life and still aren't happy it is most likely because you feel like its not enough or that you haven't accomplished anything yet. Happiness is never truly satisfied because there's always something a little more you would like that would make you just that much happier.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2017 11:38pm
No matter if you have a good life or not, it doesn't mean you have to be happy. To be happy is to be content with those around you and the way you're living. I suggest stopping and thinking about why you aren't happy and figuring out how to deal with it step by step.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2017 5:08am
Just because someone has a good life does not mean that they can't go through tough times. Most things in life will be trial and error and if you always focus on the errors, how do you expect to move on in trials?
JoewyKeller
March 16th, 2017 5:03pm
Sometimes in life you have everything you need and you feel so blessed that you don't pay attention to the little details tha might be bugging you. Try to summarize your days at night and think of any moment where you might have felt bugged about something and keep going from there.
HappyThoughts2
March 18th, 2017 3:23pm
Sometimes, we feel that even though we have everything we want, it is still not enough. We always think that the grass is greener on the other side as we say. We want a lot of things in order to fulfil our happiness, or so we think. These things are usually almost always materialistic items or they can be an extremely hard goals that are difficult to reach immediately. Perhaps, to prevent yourself feeling like this, note down the things that you are grateful for each day and make a list of goals you'd like to eventually achieve (even if it'll take you years to get there) and begin to work towards them slowly. Always take the time to concentrate on yourself too, meditation or yoga helps! I hope this has helped you, even if it was just a bit.
alexxlistens
March 23rd, 2017 11:54pm
Sometimes hormones can be the answer to that. If there's an something thats not balanced or functional, it can cause depression.
DavidT85
April 1st, 2017 10:28pm
Perhaps the problem is that many people are not truly happy, although there may be nothing really wrong in their life. I guess that's where the "am I really happy" question comes in the first place. We are conditioned to believe happiness is something that will come from the outside, once the external conditions are met. Thus, we never actually focus on developing our internal world, which is the only place real happiness can come from
MusicNeverFails
April 8th, 2017 1:16am
Sometimes unhappiness can seemingly come from nowhere, and for no reason. I have personally felt this way many many times. What I have learned about going through this myself is that sure, we may have a good life by society's standards, or we seem to have the things that most people want, but we still feel unhappy because deep inside we strive for more out of life than just the typical things that make up the idea of an average good life. It is okay to have good things in your life and still feel like there's more that you could be doing. In fact, I'd say that it's a good thing to feel that way because it means you have more passion that can be released into the world. Keep your head up and truly dig deep to find what it is you are longing for!
beautifulPeace50
April 9th, 2017 3:19pm
Because i still dont get the things i really want. Im still not where i am supposed to be, im still not with the people i want to be with and i cant really appreciate my life because i am focusing on those things i dont have
Xserk9
April 19th, 2017 7:10am
Sometimes having a good life is just not enough. You are earning well, have a kind family and you're not short of anything externally but on the inside it's just not what makes you happy. Could be your job, your family, friends, where you live etc. Finding out what actually makes you happy is a big pain in the ass and people can go their whole lives without actually realizing what they wanted. Sometimes they do know but they can't do anything about it. I'd say they're luckier 'cause at least they know what they want, it's better than not knowing at all and just sitting around aimlessly breathing. That's what I think at least.
neverendingWatermelon92
April 23rd, 2017 11:17am
There could be multiple reasons for why you are feeling unhappy. I suggest connecting with a listener so they can listen to you (that may help) or you can connect with a therapist on 7 Cups.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2017 4:19am
Each of us has 24 hours every day. We will spend those hours and days generally happy or somewhat miserable. There will be a mix, of course, but too many people exist in life instead of truly living. Too many people choose to accept their circumstances instead of chasing all the dreams and desires of their heart.
museofdreams
May 25th, 2017 6:25pm
Do you want to be? Do you let yourself be? We are usually unhappy because we won't let ourselves be happy, we tend to get used to being sad and feel safer as sad because we can except what will happen; More sadness. Sadness is simply us not feeling happy, let yourself be happy and you will be. Is there anything you feel you need? Anything you still need to do? Anything you haven't done? Try to finish these and handle your doubts. Let yourself be happy and pursue what makes you happy.
blissfulEars16
June 3rd, 2017 6:25am
Happiness is something we each strive for in life. When things are going well we feel joy, peace, and happiness. But when things are not going too well we experience the gray cloud. Unable to avoid sadness, let downs, and disappointments. You keep thinking that things will never get better. So it feels that your life will never be better. When negativity hits we as humans put all our energy into negative thoughts. When you can control your thoughts and actions when the gray cloud appears you are able to introduce feelings of happiness. Start focusing more on why your life is happy and not so much on what is going wrong.
beautifulFreedom39
July 12th, 2017 6:25am
Everyone is susceptible to mental health issues and unsatisfaction in life; it is important to know that your feelings are valid no matter who you are, or what your background is.
neverendingSoul212
July 12th, 2017 7:26pm
It's impossible to be happy all the time so don't worry it's not your fault you may have a brilliant life like pop stars and singers feel sad even if their lives aren't that bad what makes you any different
Anonymous
July 15th, 2017 3:36pm
Just having a good life does not equal happiness. There are so many important issues and feelings that are not related to having a nice home or good job.
SparkleStar78
July 19th, 2017 12:36pm
Many times it's normal to be unhappy even if you have a good life. Having a good life doesn't automatically make you happy, content, of course. But not always happy.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2017 9:55pm
I can completely related. There's lot of reasons. One might that your life isn't so good in an aspect or many aspects. It is not unusual for you to be harder on yourself. I like to think of myself as a friend. Would my life be good for them in my opinion? However, that may not be the case. You can have a good life and also have a mental illness. This might be the reason you are not happy. Personally, I have a great family, great friends, great school, but I have OCD, depression, and anxiety which made me very unhappy. I always felt like I should have been so sad, but your feelings are valid regardless.
mermaiden74
August 2nd, 2017 3:44am
Having a good life is subjective. We all have a different definition of what it means to have a good life. Even when things are going well, different things can get us to feeling less than ideal. Sometimes, it might be routine, or lack of routine. Seasons changing, moving to a new place, job or relationship. Whatever the case may be, just know that the only thing constant in life is change. Just wait a while and things are bound to get more interesting.
InvisibleAngel92
August 4th, 2017 5:03pm
I guess because I keep thinking about something that I haven't had yet or something that I don't have. I should be more grateful about what I have right now and try to give more rather than take more from others. I keep worrying about my future and grieving about my past. I guess I should be enjoy my present more and improve myself for my better future and let my past as a part of journey. Learn from them.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 2:21am
Many times we don't know the reason of our sadness. Because it's not sadness. Its the lack of inner peace and calmness which deprives us of enjoying all good things. Maybe, its work stress which people mostly ignore. You should have a deep knowledge of your own body and mind. For the best answer you should observe yourself carefully and think what you lack or desire the most