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I have a good life why am I not happy?

250 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 9:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 2:39am
What does it mean by a good life? wealth? food? shelter? friends? You may have a good life but maybe you are missing something that turns that good life into a happy life, just think about what you are missing or what others have that make them happy that you don't but don't have a good life.
VanessaGraceStory
August 17th, 2017 3:12am
Start evaluating what you need in life and work your way up to some wants, but be limited in it. Humans love material things in life or get to caught up in having way too much. Sometimes having a little goes a long way then having more. You would know your situation best. But the best thing to do is to always ask yourself if something is missing, do you have a mental illness, a defineccy, medical issues, financial issues or something? Think about it :)
softSunshine21
August 19th, 2017 2:05pm
Sometimes unhappiness doesn't have to have a 'why'. Depression and depressive thoughts quite often don't have a proper reason, nonetheless, your feelings are completely valid!
Bleppa
September 1st, 2017 6:36pm
Wealth, education, etc. does not necessarily lead to happiness. It's things that mean something to you that make you happy. Find things that you value and can make you smile instead of focusing on what you're lead to believe will make you happy.
JuneForever
September 2nd, 2017 9:56pm
Depression isn't always something that is in occurrence to a particular state of living or because of something in life. Yes, if can occur because of these things, but as depression is a mental illness, it can mean that you are sad for no reason on occasion. And this sadness can sometimes last a long time.
Streudel
September 14th, 2017 3:59am
External items and experiences aren't necessarily going to influence the feelings you're experiencing internally.
caringMusic40
September 28th, 2017 7:00pm
Are you actually happy with said life? If not then go make one for yourself! Fill it with what you want to! Have fun, learn something new, go on wild adventures! Do anything and everything you can imagine!
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2017 11:26pm
Many people downgrade and push themselves off to the side because of this. They think, people have larger problems, so why am I sad? I have a roof over my head, food on my plate and people that love me, people have it worse, so why am I sad? That’s one of the worst things you could posibly do. No one’s problems are more significant or important than yours. You matter just as much as Bertha down the street and your problems are just as bad as mine.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2017 8:17pm
Because it's not about having a good acceptable life or not it's about how we interact from within us to the external events and factors so if we have an error in dealing with our lives no matter whether it was good or bad we would still not feel happy but even if it was such a hard life and we have a positive attitude towards it we would be happy no matter how hard it is
ElleFriend
November 9th, 2017 12:03pm
It’s ok to want more. As humans, we are goal-setters. We are always looking for the “next mountain to conquer.” There is something wonderful about that experience, the exploration of life. And it’s not about suppressing it, but rather understanding it.
Zivvi
November 19th, 2017 5:24pm
Perhaps you're not surrounded by the correct people? You need good communication in your life for you to feel happy, as well as good friendships.
insightfulCaramel54
November 19th, 2017 8:36pm
first of all,you must find what is definition of happiness for you.Happiness is very personal ,i mean there are as much kinds of happiness as there are people,for everyone it's different.Ask yourself,is the life you are living the one that you need? Is your lifestyle best expression of your personality,is it what you dreamt .when you were a little kid. If you keep thinking,that you are unhappy you will become one,because what you think,you become.Your mind is you,your thoughts and your feelings create your everyday life with yourself.So enjoy yourself and you will start enjoying other people's company too.
ParalleliUni
November 29th, 2017 10:57pm
Having "good life" doesn't necessarily mean that you are happy. Sometimes "good life" can mean a lot of things. The most important one is that you choose what makes your life good and it is only good if you feel good too. On the other hand, not good things are part of life. There are hard times too. It depends on many situations you encounter. But, don't give up! The way you live your life and what you achieve is what matters.
Nasrz8
December 6th, 2017 7:05am
The reason could be you're not sharing it with someone. one of the happiness points is sharing it with the loved ones, so he/she can be proud of you and happy for you.
positivePoetry45
December 6th, 2017 4:44pm
Sometimes life gets us down and it normal to feel the pressure of what life has to offer even when we do have a good life. Everyday wont be sweet as Apple Pie. You may even feel you lack something in life. My advice is to connect with nature. Go outside and breathe in fresh air. It helps to calm the nerves. Also be appreciative of what you have now and you will see the difference!
AvaLive07
December 7th, 2017 12:35pm
Sounds like you are feeling depressed. Depression is a mental condition that can happen to anyone regardless of how good or bad life is. Could tell me more about what is making you feel this way?
KongfuPanda
December 7th, 2017 3:15pm
Emotions don't lie. Ask yourself what do you mean by "Good" life? Is it your definition or imposed on you by others/society/external force. Then ask yourself, when was the last time you were truly happy. Compare your "good life" with that time, and try to see what is missing.
HiIThinkYourePrettyCool
December 14th, 2017 10:43am
Sometimes, you just can't control what you feel. You can feel happy or sad for no reason at all, it's just your brain. If this goes on for a long time, there could be something causing it, and you might want to check it out. For now, you can accept the fact you feel this way and move on. Sometimes you're just not happy, don't worry, it'll change. For now, accept it and go on, do things that make you feel better
circledFlight
December 16th, 2017 2:38pm
Happiness is subjective, and is not a necessary outcome of having a good life. Be kind to yourself, and seek out little things that you enjoy.
tranquilSnowflake22
December 20th, 2017 12:23pm
Having a good life doesn't mean you have to be happy. Take depression for example. It can be caused by not having a very good life but depression can also be a biological thing and therefore has no relevance to how good or bad your life is.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 5:16pm
Having a good life doesnt necessarily entail that you will also be content with it, there are desires in us which do not fit any labels, sometimes if just wanna stop by a road and take a hike in the woods, sometimes, i just wanna do something truly selfless, to get lost... in a chase to beat life, we often forget to listen to this silly little desires in us, which truly fetch our happiness... Ask yourself what gives you the kick.... Is it just lying on the roof and looking at the sky? or maybe just being one with nature...? Or maybe going on a roadtrip... pick something up and just do it cuz you feel like it... weather its silly or not... Let me know your experience if you wish to :)
Archer8
January 3rd, 2018 4:58am
Some people like to say happiness is a choice, I disagree. Feelings are always valid, regardless of what they are. It how you approach the feelings is the choice. Finding activities or people that put you in a good mood is a start. Letting go of the idea that you Need a certain thing in your life to be happy, is my next step. You're an amazing person, you're you, and you don't need anything else. Lastly, talking about your unhappiness can really be a game changer. Vocalizing what's going on in your head may be the key to realizing it's not worth feeling the way you are.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 6:21pm
Sometimes you're too focused on yourself and forget you're part of something bigger. Giving back, talking to others, and just breaking away from your typical routine can help ground you and make you remember that not only is your life great but you can help make other people's lives better.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2018 2:14am
You are human. By nature humans are not happy. Plus, society does not teach us to be happy, how would they be able to sell things if we were all always content with what we have. Happiness is a learned trait. It takes practice and some faith.
Anonymous
January 11th, 2018 2:36am
What defines a good life: is it one were you have all your material needs fulfilled, have a wife and kids, friends, a good job, good health, time for yourself, etc,etc. I believe there is a good life and the GOOD LIFE, being the second one that which makes you feel fulfilled, and the only way to know what that means is throughout a long period of self-knowledge, if you guide yourself by what other people or society say, you may be unhappy anyway. Basically nobody can tell you what will make you happy, you can only find that answer by yourself, that's my belief at least. Hope it helps
Anonymous
January 12th, 2018 3:36pm
Not everything given to us in life makes us happy and I know some feel a lot of guilt around that. The truth is, it's what we can make out of the lives we were born into, and learn that happiness comes within ourselves, or our souls. The soul looks past whether we have a good or bad life, and only attends to you. You are your own journey.
Youleque
January 14th, 2018 8:17pm
What others perceive as a good life might not be good for everyone. Think about the times you are happy and what is missing when you are not, because maybe you do not have the perfect life for yourself. And even if you do, there are times of sadness even for the happiest people.
MollyCule
January 19th, 2018 3:19am
Sometimes having a good life can bring happiness and contentment, but if you are having an internal struggle with depression, anxiety, guilt, etc, that can take over your emotions.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2018 2:29am
Sometimes it's not about having a good or bad life. There are a bunch of other factors involved such as your mindset. For me, I had a fairly decent life with some bumps in the road. However there were things in my past that I was raised believing and became a negative thinker. Remember, you don't need to have a bad life to be upset or miserable. You are as valid as anyone else.
Brrianca
January 24th, 2018 9:22am
Maybe personally things/actions you do are not making you happy. Try some new activities, hobbies, a new atmosphere