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I have a good life why am I not happy?

278 Answers
Last Updated: 05/08/2022 at 6:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Wittie96
March 22nd, 2019 12:46pm
Life has lots of ups and downs. In life we can get so focused on the little things that sometimes we forget to be greatful for the things that matter most. When I am feeling down and out I go outside and get some fresh air. I truly stop to appreciate the people and things in my life that I take for granted. Then I focus on doing things that make me happy. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows but this has worked for the times when I am feeling fed up with life and all it has to offer. I hope this can help you a little bit. Good luck.
heyurworthit
July 21st, 2021 7:49pm
We can all feel a bit out of place at times. I want you to take a step back and smell the roses if you will! Look at all the gifts you have been given and remember that you are here for a reason. Remember that your purpose is to find what that reason is! Every day is the beginning of the rest of your life, which is a gift in and of itself. Take the time to use that gift by volunteering, trying a new food, exercising a bit more, planning a trip to Italy. No matter how old you are or where you may be, the world is your oyster!
Anonymous
May 4th, 2019 2:06pm
You could not be happy although you’re in a good situation because you wish you had something more, like a relationship or a specific talent. You could also be being held back by something that happened recently which is making you subconsciously upset without you thinking about it and realizing you’re thinking about it. You could make a list of what you’re happy and not happy about in your life and maybe try to get rid of some of the cons by trying a new hobby, making new friends, maybe even just taking more time for yourself, because self care is very important.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2019 8:22pm
It could be that something is bothering you and you are not aware. Maybe you have been undergoing stress in the worklace or such and don't even know. But your its actioning out on your subconcious, the mind is a funny thing. And stress is also a funny thing, you could be stressing and dont even know it, until your blood pressure started rising and your head hurts and stuff like that. It is important that you take care of yourself, and also open your eyes out to tiny things afftecting you negatively to make you unhappy. Do take care.
thoughtfulDana4
May 10th, 2019 1:20pm
Happiness and satisfaction are often confused but there is a distinct difference. To begin with, happiness is an emotion whereas satisfaction is not. If you are looking at your life and the various components that give you pleasure, it is likely you are not unhappy but rather dissatisfied. Feeling dissatisfied is fairly common. We are conditioned to want certain things in our lives– money, houses, cars, work accomplishments. Without them, we might feel like we haven’t satisfied certain criteria for success. We feel that we are missing things. We are also never told that there is a point where you can feel, well – done. In other words, once you achieve the things you were aiming for, most people want more and will ask (or feel like asking) “what’s next?”
SympatheticPrune2001
May 11th, 2019 5:59pm
Depression, mental illness and emotional problems do not discriminate between classes or how much income a person receives. Anyone can suffer from a mental illness or emotional problem. Just because you are having a good life does not mean that you are a bad person for having an issue like this. You are strong to reach out despite how you feel. Even celebrities with a lifestyle that anyone could stereotypically consider perfect can get mental illnesses. You are not alone in having these issues, and you are not a bad person or ungrateful for having them. I hope this answered your question.
gentleSun78
May 22nd, 2019 6:56am
You aren't happy despite your good life because all the material things you have don't bring happiness. Happiness bring only our own beliefs on how we are satisfied with what we have, what we do, what we can get and give. Nothing Will make you happy if you Will be dissatisfied with your life, if you won't be satisfied with what you have, what you do, what you are, what you can get, what you can give, even if these are only minor things. You needn't to sacrifice yourself to be happy. Also not listening to people who wish to persuade yourself that you Will be happy if you get this and that is advisable as people think about what they experience themselves from these things not what Will you experience from them (Word things in this sentence include all material things and services also nonmaterial goods and services and even giving - volunteering for example). Someone Will become happy when voluntering, but other person won't become happy when voluntering. People are different. It is why listening to advices of other people isn't always beneficial to our happiness.
maddisonblogs0
June 22nd, 2019 11:59pm
Because you still do not have everything clear in your life, maybe the insecurity over limits and you do not know how to face different situations, but calm, it is normal, you can slowly reach happiness but you have to play your part. I can always help you but with your help! You can and you can. It is a long way that is achieved with small steps. And do not be sad, I'm sure there are many beautiful things in your life that you still can not decipher. Maybe you feel lonely, but you're not, believe me not. Life is one and you have to live it, every time you think you're not happy say "I can
Nigel86
July 11th, 2019 1:07am
That answer is always based within, happiness is subjective which means its different for everyone. Yes you might have a good life by society's standards, but, look deeper, what part of your character seems unfulfilled? Is there something that you have not done, not achieved, something you wanted from a young age, something that has come on more recently perhaps. By society's standards, I have quite a poor life, but happiness is not the destination, happiness is a mode of transport. Its not about choosing to be happy, its about letting go of the things that are anchoring you to your misery, then doing something that fills you personally with joy, not what other's want, just you. I like hopping on a place and popping to a city I've not been, feels me with a sense of adventure and wonder.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2021 8:42pm
It’s because we crave for the things we don’t have. Sometimes there are things that we feel like we are missing. But in reality we just have to be contented on what we have. And that really really takes time. It’s hard but once you learn how to be grateful and contented your heart will be filled with joy. Being contented is realizing the value of life that we have and realizing out priorities in life, what really makes us happy. The question states that you have a good life. Which means you are aware you’re just not contented with it
Anonymous
July 31st, 2019 1:10am
Having a good life really has nothing to do with having good mental health. In my experience when other people see me they say I have such a good life how can I possibly ever be sad. But in reality not ‘everything’ is good in my life. And even if it was still, having a good life doesn’t always mean a good mental health. You could live in a millionaires mansion and be able to have whatever you want, but of course you will be sad. And I myself do not know why you might not be happy, but believe me when I say it’s ok to not be happy even if you have the world at your feet. :)
AmethystRayne96
September 25th, 2019 4:09am
Sometimes although your life is going great, you still may not feel happy, or you may feel unfulfilled with what you are doing. This may relate back to symptoms of depression. Ask yourself what you are satisfied and unsatisfied with in your every day life. This may help you lay things out into a better perspective so that you can pinpoint the things that are causing your unhappiness. Just remember-it is totally normal to feel unhappy, and you are not alone. We at 7 Cups are here to help you talk through your feelings as often as you may need.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2020 7:11pm
In my experience, happiness often has very little to do with external circumstances. Things can be going great on the outside, but inside I feel empty. I've learned that, in my case, this is due to mental health challenges that have to be addressed before I can truly find happiness. For me, this has meant working with medical professionals, being part of a 12 Step recovery community, and practicing positive self-care techniques like meditation. Happiness is ultimately an inside job – the sort of thing to be nurtured from the inside out. I can face identical situations but be happy or very unhappy depending upon whether or not I am being positive and minful.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2020 5:12pm
I know a lot of people who have comfortable, pleasant lives who also don't feel happy with their current situations. Usually, it's not that they're sad, but they feel like they've reached a plateau or wall in their life. At this point, the best thing you could do in their situation is find new meaning or purpose in the things that you do. Or, many of my friends found new careers or hobbies that brought them emotional fulfillment and happiness beyond material wealth. So I recommend that you take time to meditate on your life situation, think about the things that are most important to you, and go from there.
Jessica844
August 1st, 2020 7:25am
Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize all the good things going on in your life because there seems to be so many bad things happening around you. I would recommend taking time to focus on the good things going on rather than only paying attention to the negative things. Many times you're mood may be down because of current events or high stress situations, when this happens it is always a good idea to find hobbies you enjoy doing to make life seem more interesting and less of making it seem like you are just doing the same things over and over again because that can be exhausting.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2020 1:00am
Having a good life and being sad is normal, sometimes it's from something not being fulfilled so you feel empty or things happen that turn your world upside down but you have everything to help you but that isn't what you need.But enjoy the little things in life because its how you think and how you realized you wished something before it was to late. no regrets. people have depression and that's normal you just gotta learn how to cope in a healthy way and how sadness isn't forever that there is a way out. I believe in you. 💚🖤
FarzanaR
August 21st, 2020 5:06pm
It is normal for the human mind to be negative. Even when you are happy, our survival instincts can kick in and alert us to look for things that may not be right in our lives. This can result in feelings of unhappiness and can often cause us to reflect and come to the conclusion that we are not happy individuals. It helps to take a step away from what you are feeling and assess it objectively. Try to think about what has caused these feelings, and assess whether your thought process is rational. Often times, you will find you are able to correct your negative cognitions.
Mitel
August 22nd, 2020 9:46am
The answer is not a simple one. maybe the good life you have is not what you really want. Maybe the social status fit within the limits of "normal" but there is a possibility that you want something else. it is very important to try to find our own way in life. These days, when social media brings to the fore the beautiful part of the lives of others, it is very easy to fall into the trap and want to live the lives of others, but that does not mean it will make us happy. Usually, on social media, people post only the most beautiful aspects of their lives, trying to copy their style we risk becoming even more frustrated because the chances of being happy living the life of others is zero.
aLightInTheDark3
September 6th, 2020 1:21pm
Sometimes, even if we feel like we have a good life, that general feeling might not be fulfilling. It’s important to not only see life and your personal lifestyle as one big thing, but as a million little things. Life is made out of so so many small things, feelings, thoughts, everything around it creates it. Showing gratefulness towards those many little things changes the whole pictures, and your whole happiness. Don’t underestimate the small sensations of happiness that you get from little things. Smile, be grateful, show love and be happy for the experiences and chances you get! xx
Sweetirrific
October 9th, 2020 1:51am
Being happy is extremely hard, a lot of us tries for years to be, do everything possible, buy everything they want, but still they arent happy. To be happy you should: 1- Love yourself 2- Accept it 3- forgive it for anything 4- forget the bad things 5- Work on yourself 6- achieve any little thing every day 7- cut out everyone who makes you feel bad about yourself 8- actually know what makes you happy 9- be gentle on yourself I think we achieve happiness when we love and accept ourselves, when we give ourselves the time to enjoy the things we live everyday without thinking daily about what have taken away from us...
Anonymous
October 17th, 2020 1:29am
I often contemplate about this a lot.. there's so much that I have to be grateful for. I'm blessed with family and friends, having a roof over my head, health, etc., but I find myself questioning why I'm still unhappy. Am I just being ungrateful? What is so unfulfilling that's keeping me from happiness? I realize now that I really need to work on my mental health. Yes, there are always going to be things that are out of my control and left for the future to decide. And that's something that I need to accept. I can't control everything and I have to accept that. I need to focus on what I can control and focus on the positives in life, because then there are just going to be lists upon lists of things that I can find will make me ultimately unhappy.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 6:44pm
Mental health is not always determined by whether or not your life is going well sometimes you are going to struggle and feel down but there are people who will listen to you and offer support in whatever way you need. People care about you and how you are doing and you are not alone in how you are feeling, there are so many people and resources out there that are means to help you and support you. You are not alone and there is always going to be someone who will try to uplift you in any way they can
aqsafahim
November 21st, 2020 6:21am
We all have have a different definition of having a good life. Some of us consider us being married an essential part of having a good life. Some of us consider being independant as part of a happy life. What does having a life mean to you? Is having a good life having kids? Is it not having kids? Sometimes we create our own standards on what having a good life is to the point where we don't stop and consider why it is a part of it. Why is going to university an essential part of having a good life to some people? Doesn't going to univesity mean having to put in extra work? Added stress? Sometimes we forget that it isn't just about the final destination, it's about how you get there that gives the reason as to why it's a good life.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2020 11:38pm
I have thought this at times in my life, too! I think many of us can relate. There are so many possibilities. “Good” does not necessarily mean fulfilling. “Peaceful” doesn’t necessarily equate to a higher quality of life. You might consider if your life is lining up with your personal values. You might consider if you are moving toward the direction of life goals that matter to you, or if you want to set new goals. You also might consider if you have any symptoms of depression. If a person has a chemical imbalance, such as in the case of clinical depression, it can really mess with emotions and thoughts. There are lots of depression symptom checkers online or you can speak to your doctor or a therapist to get professionally screened. I hope you are able to gain some understanding on your situation. Best wishes.
Clara139175
November 23rd, 2020 4:21am
It's a common stigma that if you have a good life you can't be depressed. The truth is, anyone can go through depression or mental illness. There's nothing wrong with you for not being happy all the time just because your life is good by societal standards. People would say I have a good life too, yet I have chronic depression. There are no criteria or check boxes you need to tick. Stigma is challenging and I'm sorry that it has impacted you
EmpathicPikachu
April 28th, 2021 11:47am
Its a tough question to ask oneself. Sometimes, we can have everything in our life but still feel something is missing, it could either be happiness, a partner, friends, popularity, etc. If having everything and even then not feeling that happiness, we need to sit down and ask ourselves some tough questions. What is missing? Try to imagine a better life? Maybe you get happiness by helping others in a way? Try to find that passion. Take a cup of tea and think about your childhood, what you wanted to do as a child? You can do it now. There could be many reasons, find yours.
Angel1011208
February 25th, 2021 4:53am
You can be grateful, have loving parents, great friends, and still deal with depression, and fall down every once in a while. When you feel like this it is very important to seek help from a professional. It is very much okay to not be okay. Having a good life is an amazing thing, but it doesn't mean that you don't get to feel any other emotion other than happiness. Mental illnesses and struggles don't discriminate against people with rich or poor lives, it doesn't care about age, gender, status, height, or colour. Don't gaslight your self and invalidate your feelings. Seek professional help.
YourBoiGray
February 25th, 2021 10:30pm
Having a good life doesn't mean you have a good mental health state! You can be unhappy even in the best circumstances. Look at celebrities for example! They have so much yet they are often so unhappy! It's okay to be unhappy in the best times. No one can possibly be happy one hundred percent of the time. Take each day one step at a time and learn to understand the difference between having a great life and having a great mental space. It can really make a difference and bring you to a new mind set. Good luck!
JonC13
March 6th, 2021 4:28am
Happiness is something that every person will define differently and will need their own methods to obtain it. There is no universal way to achieve happiness. Maybe sometimes social media or society gives this idea. For example, have a stable job, buy a house, have a family and you will be normal and therefore happy. But in reality we are all completely different. What makes one person happy may make another person completely meaningful. A stable office job may be perfect for one person and the same job may make another person completely depressed. If we are dedicated to following our own truth, spending time searching for really makes us feel a sense of happiness or purpose, we can all find the way to happiness, for ourselves. Because only I can really discover and know what makes me truly happy in life. I believe it is the same for you and everyone on the planet.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2021 10:00pm
I remember taking a vacation not so long ago, looking out our window at a 180 degree panorama of the Pacific, asking myself this question, why can’t I appreciate this lovely view? Clearly I’m privileged to have been on such a holiday. But, the conclusion I came to at the time that has stuck with me is that, unhappiness may be a measure for our degree of disconnection from the world. That lack of connection may stem from a palette of fear and anger and hopelessness, or a sense of contingent self-worth, or a lack of self-efficacy. Or, it may form out of blame, shame, or guilt. Whatever the combination, it is a dark hue casting a smoky pall, mirroring rejection of the self and/or the other from what is now. It is this distance that separates us from the moment before us I think, and the collective humanity within. And so, as I see things, it is not the grandness of the view that will “make us happy.” Rather, it is our connection to it that allows us to appreciate it.