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I have a good life why am I not happy?

250 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 9:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
enigma42
January 25th, 2018 11:26am
Happiness does not necessarily always make you content. Being content can certainly lead to being happy.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 1:22pm
A lot of the time depression doesn’t need a reason. You can have everything in the world and still be depressed. Depression is an illness not a choice.
ifyouknowtocountcountwithme
January 31st, 2018 8:11pm
You may refer to a good job, a good relationship and all outer things are good. But if something it's off it's good to pay attention to it.
LizzieW123
February 15th, 2018 8:53pm
Often we can't explain why we aren't happy, it just happens. A 'good' life is subjective, and it can change. Perhaps there are things stressing you? Making you feel angry? Upset? This is all natural. If it becomes more of a problem it may be best to see someone about it (Doctor, Teacher, Parent... etc) All the best to you! :)
Anonymous
February 19th, 2018 11:52pm
You don't control your thoughts or your mind. If you are afraid of heights you can not tell your mind 'I am not afraid anymore', lets go climb trees or re roof that four story building. You have to convince your mind by getting a job painting high bridges....You can't know what will make you happy so you must keep finding things that make you happy getting rid of the ones that don't...forever.
7shades1colour
February 22nd, 2018 5:00am
Maybe because we are not living but we are surviving good. Maybe we are living the good life which is the product of someone else's imagination and not ours. Maybe we aren't following our heart's desire. Maybe we killed the dreams that our innocent minds built in the process of fulfilling society's aspirations.
MissesOliver
February 22nd, 2018 8:22am
Sometimes depression grabs ahold of all of us for absolutely no reason. This sounds like a situation where you may need to speak with a therapist to find out how to deal with these feelings.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 4:15pm
Despite having a group of friends and a rather positive working environment, the only constant in life is change. And all these things that I cherish will slowly fade away if I do nothing to stop it and this thought scares me.
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2018 3:42pm
Not being happy can happen for so many reasons. It can really help if you can pinpoint anything, and try writing them down to try to track these feelings and better understand them. For example, setting unrealistic goals, or being jealous of someone else can be big contributors.
KingAaron84
February 23rd, 2018 9:26pm
You have to do some soul searching on what you feel is missing from your life. Sometimes you can have everything but lack one things and it will void everything out.
catillacdreams1073
February 24th, 2018 6:32am
Felling low is usually a chemical imbalance in the brain and has nothing to do with how "good" others may perceive your life to be, and if you are feeling unhappy or low, you are definitely allowed to let yourself feel those emotions without feeling as though you need to justify them with trauma or bad experiences. Sometimes people just feel unhappy, and that does not mean there is anything wrong with you :)
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:03pm
This could be because of mental illness, your surroundings. Happiness comes from within. Sometimes it could be depression that is making you feel this way.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 8:03pm
Maybe because it isn't enough. This doesn't specially mean that you are selfish, it could mean that you're having a hard time dealing with things.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 6:25pm
‘A good life’ is very subjective. For you it probably means physical and financial well being. But sometimes, you cannot keep up mentally and thus fail to realise what is troubling you. It is okay. It is normal. Seek for help here so that we can help you.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2018 6:23pm
The definition of success is not defined by how much wealth you have... and I think people most times associate that with having a good life as well... But the definition of a good life could have different meanings for different people. Perhaps in your own terms you life is not as good as the world see's it to be. You ought to give your own definition of a good life, rather than the worlds definition thereof. And perhaps then you will find what you will be most happy with.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2018 4:11am
Happiness is not on the material of what u have or dont have happiness cant be buy by money happiness is inside of u and you choose if u want to feel it or not everyday u have the choice to choose if u want to be happy or not and by happyness i don't mean that everything has to be so perfect just like fairy tails no i mean when your day is going down or when you feel everything is goind upside down just remeber that u have the power to turn that bad day into something better because everyone has happiness you just have to let it come out of u
Katishereforyou
March 31st, 2018 6:36am
Happiness is not extracted from simply having a good life, ask yourself what it is that is making you unhappy and tackle it to find inner peace with yourself.
starryLight35
April 11th, 2018 11:15pm
Because "the grass is always greener on the other side". Humans evolved to seek out new environments/territories and opportunities to ensure constant supply of food. We constantly think there is something greater waiting for us over the rainbow. This hope is enough to keep people motivated, but sometimes it can become problematic if it's makes you unhappy or anxious with your own life.
amazingDreamer85
April 18th, 2018 1:47pm
Depression could be biomedical or psychological. Having a happy life according to other peoples standards may not mean your life is happy. Your type of happiness can differ from someone elses. Ensure that you know what actually contributes to your happiness and feelings of purpose
Anonymous
April 21st, 2018 11:58am
There must be something in your life that you want fulfilled. Something which only you will find, when you go deep into your heart.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 4:09am
There is more to depression and sadness than simply having a bad life. I can attest that I have seen relatively wealthy people who are educated, healthy and pleasant to be around to still be not be experiencing happiness. We have needs beyond safety, security and food and water. We also have to satisfy our relationship needs and we need to have aims and goals in our lives. In other words, there's probably another reason you're not happy. And it won't necessarily have to do with whether or not you seemingly have the life you're supposed to like.
ResourcefulCupcake00
April 25th, 2018 5:22pm
Seeing that your outside needs are met is a lot easier than seeing if your emotional needs are met.
courageousMelody48
April 29th, 2018 7:40am
Happiness is personal. You may have what appears to be a good life to others but still, suffer from dissatisfaction.
EspritDuKaren68
May 2nd, 2018 3:25pm
We can have money, nice things, and while everything may 'appear' to be right in our lives, you might not happy for reasons deeper than what appears on the surface. Have you considered journaling? Get in touch with a deeper part of yourself to get the answers. Maybe you have an inner child in there that needs help.
CoreDad87
May 2nd, 2018 11:48pm
I think it's human nature to always want more out of life than what we have. Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the roses.
Vivian4
May 3rd, 2018 9:42pm
Because happiness isn’t about having things from outside, happiness comes from inside. Others people’s idea about good life doesn’t need to correspond with your inter feelings. Follow your joy stead.
Zed17
May 4th, 2018 5:32pm
I think many people feel unhappy because they set themselves unrealistic goals for what their lives should be like. This is made even worse by the pressures of social media.
GlowingDreamer15
May 5th, 2018 9:14pm
It is normal not to feel always happy. As amazing your life could be, it is possible to feel sad. It might be the chemicals in your brain doing their job the wrong way, which is totally not your fault ! Try seeking some help and keep up the good work ! :)
Anonymous
May 6th, 2018 2:30pm
if you arent happy, then something in the back of your mind craves something. it could be love, something better than what you have, something bigger, like a bigger home, newer car etc..
Anonymous
May 26th, 2018 6:09am
There are lots of reasons people can be unhappy. Just because your life isn't as bad as others, doesn't mean your struggles are any less valid.