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I have a good life why am I not happy?

277 Answers
Last Updated: 04/20/2022 at 3:15pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

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I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
August 24th, 2018 3:53pm
You have a good life but perhaps not what you want in life. We all want different things in life. Some people want materialistic items to make them happy such as clothes, cars etc. Others want people in their life such as finding love might make them happy. What do you want in life, do you have them? If so you may need to look into your feelings and consider the prospects of conditions such as depression where one person may have all that they want but no long find pleasure in the things that they once enjoyed due to this medical condition having such a negative effect upon them.
September 9th, 2018 2:41am
There could be a number of factors. It could be that your feeling numb or you may have experienced some type of trauma when you were younger, that you may not remember. This occurs in subconscious that we aren't aware of. A good place to really dig deep into why you aren't happy is to see a professional, such as a therapist or a psychologist. Other things to consider is have you experienced something big, such as moving, starting a new job, making new friends, being away from home? That could also play into why you aren't feeling too good.
September 16th, 2018 10:22am
Sometimes, it’s just the pressure that we’re feeling from our school, work or family. Other times, it may be due to the loneliness that we feel at home, work or school. Otherwise, it may be due to conflicts that you are experiencing in life. For instance, having to have argued with someone. Other than that, it may also be caused by our negative thinkings. By thinking too much, we tend to forget the good things in life and we focus on the bad things. That may be some of the reasons why you’re not feeling happy but it is okay. Life may be tough at times, but eventually it’ll be better and we’ll be greeted with the goods in life.
September 20th, 2018 4:09am
A lot of the times we don't think that because we have a stable job, roof over our heads, food in our belly and a decent amount of people in our life whom care for us is enough to say we are happy, we are just feeling more fortunate than anything else. A lot of times people can somewhat ignore this feeling with drugs or alcohol or things they enjoy doing, or finding new people in their lives or changing a part of their life or even quitting their job to do what they really love. Happiness is all what you set and want it to be, and it only comes from you. Some people or things might give off that feeling, but you'll definitely know and feel it when it's actual happiness.
September 28th, 2018 4:02pm
Emotions are funny... They aren't predictable, are they? Sometimes people who have seemingly difficult lives can seem pretty happy, while people who have good lives can feel unhappy. When we feel fine, we don't give it much thought, but when we feel sad, we can wonder why, and how to stop it. Sometimes that sadness can make us angry with ourselves. We can tell ourselves it's stupid we feel sad, or we imagine something must be wrong with us. Rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone can feel down, even when things are going smoothly. To get through those periods when you feel low, try not to beat yourself up. Remember that the feelings will pass. Tell yourself that you're allowed to feel whatever, it is ok to feel however you do. Even when it's hard, it's good to feel things.
October 5th, 2018 4:01pm
That feeling of Happiness is the result of chemicals produced by the brain. If you don't feel it, your brain is probably not functioning at it's optimal levels. There may be several reasons for this: it just happened; it's a side effect of some other chemical you are taking; or perhaps you have never learned to encourage your brain to make and produce these chemicals. Happiness maybe thought of as the combination of two basic emotions, or chemical compounds in the brain: affection and kindness. If you can look back over your life and find that you were deprived of those two things as a young child, then you might not have ever learned to produce that feeling, those chemicals, in the first place. Do not despair, however, the brain is a very flexible (often called Plastic) organ, with powers to generate and regenerate functions. I would suggest that you find some way to generate those two feelings (kindness and affection) deliberately, and every time you succeed, acknowledge that, so that your brain will understand that it is doing what you want. Praise Yourself! I know that many people find this very difficult, even happy people, but it is even more important when trying to change your emotions or learn new behaviors. You might recognize it as "Positive Reinforcement". I hope these ideas are of some use to you, and that they actually do help you learn to feel Happy.
October 11th, 2018 10:39am
Just because you have a good life doesn’t mean you have to be happy. I have a ‘good’ life but I am actually very sad. If my parents were to look on my phone they would see that I get on here every day for help. Even though you have a good life you may feel horrible but that’s ok. Everybody has there reasons for feeling bad. A good life is not necessarily a good life. I have been through a lot but now I am having a good life but I still feel bad about everything that happened.
October 17th, 2018 1:39am
Please don’t blame yourself for this. Unfortunately having what is societally deemed to be a good life does not necessarily make one happy. Sometimes it is a matter of an imbalance of neurotransmitters that result in mental problems even if you would be wealthy, not have to work and have the best family in the world. Sometimes people who do not understand will be judgmental and assume depressed people are complaining for nothing because they have a ‘good life’, or a better life than others. But if you are as deeply unhappy as a depressed person is, that is not lucky. It is hell and you shouldn’t be blamed for it.
November 3rd, 2018 6:32pm
Some people feel this way even if everything is perfectly fine maybe because of a chemical imbalance in the brain. That is what causes some mental illnesses, because you haven't got enough of a certain chemical in the brain, such as serotonin, which causes you to become less happy. Sometimes it could be a change in your life that triggers it, and sometimes there's no specific reason. It could be because you are lonely or anything. It still doesn't mean that what you are feeling is less valid in any way and anyone feeling like this should probably still get help. Remember that you aren't alone, there are other people that have a good life but aren't happy, just like you.
November 7th, 2018 5:30am
True, lasting Happiness doesn't comes from the external circumstances of life. The conditions of external life might make us happy temporarily. Money and Material objects come and go. Relationships and opportunities bloom and then disintegrate. Our body is sometimes healthy, other times we are riddled with illness and pain. We might feel happy while the currents of life are shifting in our favor. But then we suffer when they change or don't go our way. People suffer or thrive similarly whether they have a good life full of resources, or a very difficult life devoid of opportunity. A wealthy person could be stuck in a state of constant misery, while a person with very little might be radiating in a state of bliss. The difference lies within. The true source of fulfillment and happiness is deep within oneself. This is based in the condition of one's own inner Mental / Emotional landscape. And it is also based on how each of us chooses to view our life and everything around us. We choose how we want to create meaning in each and every moment of life. And the way we create that meaning brings either pain and suffering, or expansion towards happiness. Although the Mind sometimes feels like it has "a mind of it's own," the truth is that we can learn to master ourselves, question our own unhelpful thoughts and emotions, and find that coveted source of peace and happiness within. Every person who finds the Source of Silence, Wisdom, and Peace deep within themselves will experience lasting happiness no matter what happens in their life. This is the kind of self growth and transformation that is worth striving for. Never give up. Never stop working on yourself. Never stop growing. We are like a beautiful Lotus flowers reaching through the mud in order to open to towards the light into full bloom.
November 7th, 2018 9:19pm
Having a good life has a positive effect on being happy, however it is not always enough itself. Sometimes even if every thing seems like great, we can feel somehow unhappy. Also, it can cause us to feel bad about why we are unhappy even if we have a good lives. Don't accuse yourself for that. It is happening in some part of our lives. It can be a chance to explore new pathways or it can guide you to explore your inside. It is being at peace with yourself. You can practice writing the things you would like to change in your life (daily tasks, relationships, emotions etc.), and you can score them. Then, maybe it is time to make them really happen. Hope it helps to your question. Best wishes,
December 1st, 2018 4:56am
Even if you may have a good life, you can sometimes may not be happy, or may feel an emptiness inside. Though you might have friends, family, good food, education, and so much you can be thankful for, you still could not feel happy because you might not feel like you are complete. It could be procrastination, previous unpleasant memories of other people who may have hurt, maybe because you haven’t found love yet, or maybe because you haven’t achieved a goal you were really determined on. These could all lead to your unhappiness, but it’s always better to check with a professional, such as a doctor. I hope this helps!
December 5th, 2018 3:50pm
Well, having good life does not always equalize happiness. People can have well paid jobs, happy families, a successful social life, but still not reaching happiness. In other hand, people with less life qualities may feel happier. The reason is that happy come from what make you happy not from what is in you hands. Imagine having a big diamond in your hand while you are extremly thirsty and exhausted. Will you feel happy? Yeah you may exchange it for some stuffs and things, but the diamond/ the wealth/ the good things by them will not relief you if you are not happy from inside. So rather than looking for good paid jobs lets think about job that you are passionate about. Rather than marrying a bretty smart women, marry the one that matches with your soul, that understand you clearly even if she got some disadvanges. Rather than having busy social life fullfilled with many people and friends, try to spend time with one person that shares you exatct interest or have an interesting life or career. Experience extremmities in life, joy, curiosity, wonder, miracles. Try everything, live everymoment, and feel the peacefulness flows in you interiors. Love yourself and feed it with what satisfy it spiritually. Happiness does ot come with good life , happiness come with satisfying life.
December 6th, 2018 11:24am
* What do you consider a "good life"? When I hear this question it pretty much sounds like you live what OTHER people would call a good life. There are all these images, movies, conversations that implant concepts into your brain making you think "this is the way I am supposed to live". Well, most of that is just marketing. You decide what a good life is for you and for you only. * Did you ever think about what you truly want in your life? What is your HEART'S desire? A house, food, money etc will secure your material basis, yes, but it will never fulfill your deep desires. Find out what you really want from life. Become a painter, travel, meet new people, learn, have a pet, connect to spirituality? * Realize what you already have and how lucky you are to have all this. Health, money, a home, a family, friends, nature, freedom; all the things that so many other people do not have. Appreciate the small things as well. * If you found out your true desires -that can take weeks/months- act accordingly. Stop caring what other people say and do it YOUR way. Your life is about you, not about others' thoughts. * Be free in your thoughts and actions, break out of behaviour patterns and try something new. Standstill is death. If you run in a hamsterwheel every day, chances are you are already dead (hence the question). Break the cycle. Anything can help. Be creative and listen to your intuition/heart. * Get rid of energy vampires. Leave people that leave you with bad emotions. If necessary, find new friends or a new partner. Rest assured, you will meet new people that fit better than before.
January 24th, 2019 5:50am
It basically has got something to do with your thoughts and with your mind. Happiness is not something that you can get from outside. Happiness is already there within you. Happiness is a decision. If you want to be happy, you will decide to be happy and you will definitely be happy. You have the supreme control over your emotions. You are the controller of you emotions. Nobody or nothing external can affect your emotions unless you give them the power to. So instead of seeing happiness as something that you receive from outside, look at it as an emotion that's always been within you to which you have the access to at anytime and anywhere.
February 21st, 2019 9:46pm
sadness isn't always a logical thing! whether it's chemical, or even the result of something that you didn't know bothered you as much as it did. i've certainly seen that in a lot of people, even when their life situation gets better, and the things that were supposed to be upsetting them the most are no longer an issue, they still struggle with low mood. i guess it's just about talking it out, preferably a therapist, and identifying the little things that are gonna help keep you afloat until you can work out what's causing you the unhappiness, if anything
March 8th, 2019 5:53am
Happiness isnt a sense of having anything good, maybe you just havent found the purpose your life is looking for. Maybe you're not around the right people. Maybe you're not in an environment that will make you feel happy. You have to ask these questions to yourself to help you understand why YOU, yourself are not happy. That or you can talk to any of us here and we can help you reflect on that gray area you might not be able to mentally reach all by yourself. We're always here to help, never be afraid to contact anyone.
March 22nd, 2019 12:46pm
Life has lots of ups and downs. In life we can get so focused on the little things that sometimes we forget to be greatful for the things that matter most. When I am feeling down and out I go outside and get some fresh air. I truly stop to appreciate the people and things in my life that I take for granted. Then I focus on doing things that make me happy. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows but this has worked for the times when I am feeling fed up with life and all it has to offer. I hope this can help you a little bit. Good luck.
May 4th, 2019 2:06pm
You could not be happy although you’re in a good situation because you wish you had something more, like a relationship or a specific talent. You could also be being held back by something that happened recently which is making you subconsciously upset without you thinking about it and realizing you’re thinking about it. You could make a list of what you’re happy and not happy about in your life and maybe try to get rid of some of the cons by trying a new hobby, making new friends, maybe even just taking more time for yourself, because self care is very important.
May 8th, 2019 8:22pm
It could be that something is bothering you and you are not aware. Maybe you have been undergoing stress in the worklace or such and don't even know. But your its actioning out on your subconcious, the mind is a funny thing. And stress is also a funny thing, you could be stressing and dont even know it, until your blood pressure started rising and your head hurts and stuff like that. It is important that you take care of yourself, and also open your eyes out to tiny things afftecting you negatively to make you unhappy. Do take care.
May 10th, 2019 1:20pm
Happiness and satisfaction are often confused but there is a distinct difference. To begin with, happiness is an emotion whereas satisfaction is not. If you are looking at your life and the various components that give you pleasure, it is likely you are not unhappy but rather dissatisfied. Feeling dissatisfied is fairly common. We are conditioned to want certain things in our lives– money, houses, cars, work accomplishments. Without them, we might feel like we haven’t satisfied certain criteria for success. We feel that we are missing things. We are also never told that there is a point where you can feel, well – done. In other words, once you achieve the things you were aiming for, most people want more and will ask (or feel like asking) “what’s next?”
May 11th, 2019 5:59pm
Depression, mental illness and emotional problems do not discriminate between classes or how much income a person receives. Anyone can suffer from a mental illness or emotional problem. Just because you are having a good life does not mean that you are a bad person for having an issue like this. You are strong to reach out despite how you feel. Even celebrities with a lifestyle that anyone could stereotypically consider perfect can get mental illnesses. You are not alone in having these issues, and you are not a bad person or ungrateful for having them. I hope this answered your question.
May 22nd, 2019 6:56am
You aren't happy despite your good life because all the material things you have don't bring happiness. Happiness bring only our own beliefs on how we are satisfied with what we have, what we do, what we can get and give. Nothing Will make you happy if you Will be dissatisfied with your life, if you won't be satisfied with what you have, what you do, what you are, what you can get, what you can give, even if these are only minor things. You needn't to sacrifice yourself to be happy. Also not listening to people who wish to persuade yourself that you Will be happy if you get this and that is advisable as people think about what they experience themselves from these things not what Will you experience from them (Word things in this sentence include all material things and services also nonmaterial goods and services and even giving - volunteering for example). Someone Will become happy when voluntering, but other person won't become happy when voluntering. People are different. It is why listening to advices of other people isn't always beneficial to our happiness.
June 22nd, 2019 11:59pm
Because you still do not have everything clear in your life, maybe the insecurity over limits and you do not know how to face different situations, but calm, it is normal, you can slowly reach happiness but you have to play your part. I can always help you but with your help! You can and you can. It is a long way that is achieved with small steps. And do not be sad, I'm sure there are many beautiful things in your life that you still can not decipher. Maybe you feel lonely, but you're not, believe me not. Life is one and you have to live it, every time you think you're not happy say "I can
July 11th, 2019 1:07am
That answer is always based within, happiness is subjective which means its different for everyone. Yes you might have a good life by society's standards, but, look deeper, what part of your character seems unfulfilled? Is there something that you have not done, not achieved, something you wanted from a young age, something that has come on more recently perhaps. By society's standards, I have quite a poor life, but happiness is not the destination, happiness is a mode of transport. Its not about choosing to be happy, its about letting go of the things that are anchoring you to your misery, then doing something that fills you personally with joy, not what other's want, just you. I like hopping on a place and popping to a city I've not been, feels me with a sense of adventure and wonder.
July 31st, 2019 1:10am
Having a good life really has nothing to do with having good mental health. In my experience when other people see me they say I have such a good life how can I possibly ever be sad. But in reality not ‘everything’ is good in my life. And even if it was still, having a good life doesn’t always mean a good mental health. You could live in a millionaires mansion and be able to have whatever you want, but of course you will be sad. And I myself do not know why you might not be happy, but believe me when I say it’s ok to not be happy even if you have the world at your feet. :)
September 25th, 2019 4:09am
Sometimes although your life is going great, you still may not feel happy, or you may feel unfulfilled with what you are doing. This may relate back to symptoms of depression. Ask yourself what you are satisfied and unsatisfied with in your every day life. This may help you lay things out into a better perspective so that you can pinpoint the things that are causing your unhappiness. Just remember-it is totally normal to feel unhappy, and you are not alone. We at 7 Cups are here to help you talk through your feelings as often as you may need.
October 13th, 2019 8:31pm
Having a good life seems to be a pretty good one to have. Lot of people are not lucky enough to have it. I'm glad that you have one. But good life and a happy life are very different things. Why don't you try something interesting and adventurous things? Why don't you do something new everyday? Becoming curious can change a lot of things . I experienced a similar thing once . I did a lot of new things and that brought happiness. I did things that increased my curiosity.maybe you should try it. Hope that you have a better one too
October 19th, 2019 1:45pm
sometimes, very little things in life made us upset. they are the outgrowths of our maladaptive thinking patterns. to achieve real happiness we need to get rid of bad thoughts. we can get rid of these thought patterns by simply observing our thoughts. once we observe your thoughts we can identify the thoughts which cause distress. after identification of those negative thoughts, we need to think which of our beliefs give roots to those thoughts. why we think in that way. after identifying the beliefs we can make the counter beliefs which will give way to positive thoughts and in this way we can be happy.
October 24th, 2019 12:37pm
I think that this question is asked a lot. People think that you should automatically be fine because you have a good life. If you are unhappy, the common misconception is that it's your own fault, or that it's something you can control or maybe that you don't deserve to be feeling down at all. Mental health has a big impact on our happiness and it's a definite fact that it doesn't pick or choose who has a mental health issue and who doesn't. If feeling happy was a choice then everyone would choose it. It doesn't matter what kind of life you have, mental health is something that can impact us at anytime and take a massive toll on our happiness. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't blame yourself for it. I listened to a TED talk recently about depression and anxiety, it really opened my eyes to realise that mental health is something people should deal with as a group- if one person is down, then everyone steps in to support them. It should be, what can WE do about this, not what YOU should do. I think that really sums up the point of 7 Cups to the fact that we make people feel like they aren't alone and that we care. To come back to the question 'I have a good life, why am I not happy?' I think that we should concentrate more on the 'not happy' part of this question- the quality of your life shouldn't make you feel bad for feeling anything other than okay. It's human to not be fine sometimes. Your mental health is so important and it's okay to want to concentrate on working on yourself. Everyone's experience of life is different, there is no wand to fix it all, but its really encouraged to talk about these things. Reaching out on 7 Cups, talk to a listener, explore the self help guides etc. There are so many resources out there to help you and support a person through a hard time that they may be experiencing. Sorry for the little ramble. Hope it helped someone out there. x