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I have no friends in high school or college. What should I do?

94 Answers
Last Updated: 06/30/2020 at 9:17pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Trishna Monplaisir, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

We are here to advocate, empower and provide compassion to individuals who need help.

Top Rated Answers
March 23rd, 2016 3:15am
It's not easy when you feel like you have no friends at school. I know it can be difficult but going out of your way to speak to people can really help, even if it's just a quick hello, or a question to someone you sit next to in class. It can be really helpful to bond with people over shared interests and hobbies, so if your school offers after school clubs or societies then try and join up to some that interest you!
March 10th, 2016 4:18am
Make friends with yourself first. Understand that your value may not be appreciated by those in the tiny pool of people in your school. Develop into someone who would be loved by the people whose values you respect. Once you respect yourself, approval from others becomes a happy perk, but not something to be relied upon for your happiness.
April 2nd, 2016 2:45pm
It's okay to not have friends, but don't let that stop you from being happy. Try not the think that you don't have friends because of you, think of it as: Out of the hundreds of people in college and school, you haven't met everyone, Join as many extra curricular/clubs as you possibly can, find a common interest with one person and everything will take it's own path from there. And if all else fails, find a friend within yourself; find happiness within yourself.
April 1st, 2016 8:43am
I think you should try to communicate and take the first step, and trust me the world is waiting to accept you.
March 24th, 2016 12:11pm
Be yourself and the right people will attract, you probably have no friends because people don't know you, if you let them know who you are and be free and kind with everyone, you'll have many friends :) good luck 👍
March 27th, 2016 4:05am
I felt this way during the first two years of my college life. I was sad most of the time and unmotivated to go to class because I felt like I was alone. I overcame this by joining a volunteer organization, and they made me feel like not just a friend, but family. Maybe this would work for you, too. Try joining a club that caters to any of your interests. I figured that the common ground I shared with people from my organization (willingness to help others) became the solid foundation of my friendship with them.
March 11th, 2016 7:03pm
Having no friends, or feeling as though you have no friends, is not uncommon. As we age, connections become harder to maintain, and we have fewer of them than when we were younger. It's common for this situation to lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. The easiest answer is to try and find some friends! This can be easier said than done. Especially as we get older, it can be hard to know where to meet people and find connections. A couple of ideas for high schoolers are clubs and elective classes. After school activities are a great way to meet new people. Find out if your school has any clubs you might be interested in. Even academic clubs are a great way to get study partners, which can lead to friendships. Elective classes, such as art, choir, band, or a computer class, will put you near people who might share an interest in that class. Advice for meeting people in college is the same, except that college is even easier! College usually has a lot more clubs and elective based classes where you can meet people. Because college classes are more difficult than high school, more people are trying to get together to study and share notes. And, of course, if you live on campus, you are surrounded by other people. Even if you don't live on campus, or are attending a community or technical college, your school probably has a place for students to hang out. Try spending some time there between classes. If you recognize someone from a class, go talk to them about the latest assignment! Meeting people and making friends is all about being able to put yourself out there. It can be intimidating to talk to total strangers, but if you don't let that stop you, you can make new friends in no time! I like to ask a stranger a question about themselves right away. They're usually happy to tell me about themselves, and it helps me think of them as a potential friend, rather than a total stranger. And of course, never forget that if you are feeling lonely, you can find a Listener here on 7 Cups to talk to.
April 30th, 2016 2:39am
its ok be active creative spend time on you develop yourself join community talk to the people aproach first be happy friend are the part of life they will come and alwz be happy
March 30th, 2016 6:43pm
I often felt like I struggled to initiate friendships, and even if I had some I struggled to then maintain them for long periods of time. A way I went about trying to make and keep friends was to try new activities to meet new people. I also pushed myself to be a little bit more persistent in starting conversations with people (even strangers or people you aren't that familiar with yet!) than I would have been otherwise. Friendships don't just happen; they have to be actively worked towards, especially if you want them to become meaningful and lasting relationships. It may feel tough and even awkward at first, but try not to let that discourage you. Instead, try to take it on like a fun challenge - one that has the promise of a positive impact on your life. Most people out there don't have 'too many' friends, so you'll see how many people would actually be totally elated to have you join their circles!
April 10th, 2018 1:52pm
I didn't have many friends throughout school. A big thing i learned is to go do things. Join clubs, volunteer. Find people that enjoy some of the things you do and you could be set for life.
March 10th, 2016 1:34am
sometimes the high schools and colleges you are at don't have the type of people you would like to hang out with, you could always make online friends or just go out more often outside of campus :)
March 10th, 2016 9:31pm
You shouldn't feel down because of that. Every person have their own pace on making friends. Seriously just give it time and you will
March 12th, 2016 2:15am
I dealt with the same thing in high school and I think a lot of people struggled with keeping friends and making friends because your worth as a social human being in high school depends upon who your friends are. In the real world that's not so true. For myself, I realized I didn't need friends to be happy. However, it's a good idea to be friendly! Get involved in school activities or if there's no clubs you like, try and make on yourself. If possible, join an honor society, they help you network a lot. When you're in class, try to be apart of the conversation and participate. If that's hard for you, start out small. Maybe in a group of two or three people. You'll see it'll become easier as time goes on.
April 28th, 2016 9:53pm
I didn't have any friends in high school either.i think this is just a perfect time to get to know yourself. Find your hidden talents or maybe just find something you like doing. If you feel like you absolutely can't live without the company of friends you could just a club you're interested in. A lot of people think it's bad to have no friends but I think it's a great time to find yourself
April 29th, 2016 9:33pm
It is totally normal since every person is different and perfect in their place. If this bothers you more than normal than try to contact a personality developer you could also join various workshops for personality development but the most important thing is feel good about yourself. You are unique and perfect.
May 6th, 2016 8:23am
Friends form an important component of life. If one is having any difficulty in opening up to people or feels overwhelmed or intimidated, in any way, on seeing or talking to people (strange or known) or being near them, one experiences certain kinds of difficulties. So, when the person learns to tackle or subdue these feelings, it solves more than half of the problem. The feeling of being left out is also dealt with. Also, trying to indulge in conversations with people is helpful. Sometimes, you can also break the ice, instead of waiting for someone to do so, by starting any kind of topic that you think can be talked upon. Remember, you also need to extend a hand for a hand shake. :)
May 6th, 2016 4:27pm
I also feel the same way, but I advice you to start things a step at a time start a little conversation and be active in activities. This way you can start making friends
May 8th, 2016 10:27pm
Well either you look for happiness outside, i.e. searching for right people, or find happiness within yourself ( or use a combination of both ). Just reflect on this : You have always been your own best friend, you have always shared your deepest emotions, you have never left yourself in any situation, you have always shared joy with yourself whenever happy...... The list can go on, what I am reffering to is that you enjoy the process of existance, feel happy that you exist, and may not need to depend on people. Just train your mind to joy of soul instead of being depressed and then magic will happen. You will feel joy on meeting any type of people, which reflects god's love. You will also feel safe that god has always been with you and would always be with you. Just train your mind. And if you progress spiritually enough, you may learn that there is no difference between you or god. This answer is from a spiritual perspective, but I feel it would give you the much needed boost of relief in any situation imaginable. All the best ( with love ) and tck care
May 13th, 2016 4:13pm
Making friends in school can be hard,but speaking to a listener can always be helpful. Feel free to chat to someone if you need to as we are here to support you. It is always hard to find friends and try and fit in.
March 10th, 2016 10:48pm
Be your own best friend and then reach out to others. I once knew a woman, very popular, whose friendship I would have liked, but I felt that she already had too many people in her circle. We spoke on the phone once and she told me how no one reached out to her. People liked her but she did all the work reaching out. So I took the initiative and reached out to her. She appreciated it so much that we have been very close friends for about 2 years now. I met her in college. Making friends starts with initiative.
March 11th, 2016 2:21am
Be outgoing and try making conversations. Sometimes you have to be the one to introduce yourself instead of people coming to you.
March 11th, 2016 7:18am
personally, I am struggling with the same thing right now. So, i have decided to just start to talk to people. I now have one friend in my medical term class. Maybe try to open up a bit?
March 11th, 2016 3:52pm
One of the best tips I can offer would be to consider joining different societies and clubs in your college/school. Be a little bold and speak to people. Help people who need it. Seek out others who appear lost and alone and lift them up. You can only gain friends if you become friendly towards others. Think positively about yourself. Do not feel like you dont deserve friends or anything like that. Relax and be yourself. Things won't be this way for long
March 12th, 2016 7:29am
If you have no friends, don't fret! Try finding a club that seems interesting to you and join it. If you see a table at lunch that isn't filled with people, ask to sit down with the people at the table and start up a conversation with them. Also try talking to some people in your classes who seem interesting to you. And when filling out your schedule for next year, take classes that seem enjoyable to you. Fitting in with the suggestion about talking to people in your classes, especially make sure to talk to some people in the electives you choose that you think seem interesting because those people thought the classes seemed interesting too and might have a lot in common with you! Best of luck, Taylor, 7 Cups Community
March 13th, 2016 11:22pm
Can you consider to make some that will be there for you no matter what and find ways to share thoughts with them and exchange thoughts.
March 14th, 2016 4:18pm
Friends are easy to find but real ones are hard to find. If you cannot make friends in highschool or college, it is okay. Quality is better than quantity. You may not have one in that environment but it doesnt mean that you will never have. Be nice to people, and try to be open with your life. Be true to yourself in order for you to find your perfect match. It is not easy to find a true friend, it may take years and a lot of experiences but you have to be patiently wait for it because sooner or later it will come :-)
March 16th, 2016 3:53am
Essay question: I have no friends in high school or college. What should I do? Essay response: When I was a student, I did not realize it at the time, though most others were students like me. It was my opinion that I had to be strong, by myself. It was my assumption that they didn't want to be interrupted by me or desire for friendship. Due to this line of logic, I convinced myself that I should not bother. That they would approach me if they desired friendship. I assumed they felt differently than I did. I missed the fact that we had so much in common. I was afraid to embarrass myself, and I did not understand that they too are afraid to take that same chase of being embarrassed while trying to seek out friendship. There may have been a few grouchy friends, but most of them were just as eager as I was to have a new friend.
March 17th, 2016 4:00pm
try joining a club or sport love you'll find people with the same interest as you
March 17th, 2016 6:25pm
Try joining some clubs or out of school activities, it will mean you're able to meet new people. You just haven't found the right people yet :)
March 17th, 2016 9:12pm
You should try to find new friends online, coffee shops, libraries, events at convention centers, or join volunteering organizations.