For me, saying to myself 'I don't have a right to feel depressed' is a very easy trap to fall into. For one thing, I don't just feel depressed, I AM depressed. For another, I can’t control this. You, I'm sure, didn't choose this. You didn't just wish one day to be depressed.
Yes, in some aspects, others have harder lives. But having to fight battles in your own head doesn't make your life easy or perfect. For those of us that have depression, we struggle with things other people don't see. I once had a woman I highly respect explain it to me this way.
Every one of us has Hurdles, anything that gets in the way of us living our lives. Some people's Hurdles are outside of them, like a difficult relationship with a loved one, or a physical limitation. Other Hurdles aren’t outside of us; these hurdles are the ones that others, no matter how close, can rarely notice. These are the cases of depression, the bi-polar, the PTSD, these are the ones that are beyond our control, but reside inside of us.
Everyone’s Hurdles vary in height, one experience that two people have will result in different Hurdles. Some people have more on the outside, other vice versa.
You shouldn’t hate yourself for what you have no control over. Hatred of one’s self isn’t healthy. We can look back and wince at our actions, dislike words that have left our mouths, wish to rid ourselves of aspects that we consider harmful. But we shouldn’t hate ourselves.
You are not your depression, you are the sum of everything you have done and witnessed. You, my friend, have a unique set of experiences that no one else has. Others have seen, heard and done some of what you have. But not one person in this world has your life. Please, I beg of you not to hold yourself up to someone else’s bar.
“You can't compare an apple to an orange. It will cause a lot of self-esteem issues.” -Craig Sheffer