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I think I have depression and I want to tell my parents but my brother recently got diagnosed so I feel like they would think that I'm just trying to get attention. What do I do?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 05/02/2022 at 7:13pm
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Top Rated Answers
JovialOceanNymph
August 13th, 2020 10:36am
I understand your fear but your feelings are valid too. It may seem very scary now with your brother in the same situation as you are. You should listen to yourself because I can't hope to know what you are expriencing right now so I cannot give advice. I hope from the bottom of your heart you find the solution you are seeking and are able to find a good solution with our help. We are here to help you and will gladly listen to you and are glad to listen to you so you may understand yourself more and get to know your situation and maybe find a solution with pur help.
blossomjessie
August 22nd, 2020 3:28pm
You are the expert on you. I cannot give advice but I can listen to your perspective and together we can work on a good solution for you to take. It sounds like you’re saying that you're really struggling with depression, but you’re also experiencing some fear of having your intentions misunderstood by your parents. I do want to congratulate you though for being in tune enough with yourself to be able to identify mental illness and negative emotional experiences that you’re facing. Not many people can identify in the moment, their own experience with mental illness. Depression is much more common than most realize.
danidani7
September 3rd, 2020 2:48am
Never, never hide your feelings, especially depression, just because of what others might think. You can say that seeing your brother get diagnosed opened your eyes and you realized something about yourself. You want help. They can't deny you that. If your brother just got diagnosed with depression, your parents must know how serious of a thing it is, and if there is a chance that you have it too, why would they not help you? If things go the other way around, try to make them understand that you aren't looking for attention . Best of luck .
blueskysmile777
September 11th, 2020 7:41pm
First of all, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed. Second, depression is a very serious, debilitating disorder and you must seek help from a medical professional. Third, remember that this is not your fault and you are certainly not alone. Many suffer from bouts of depression and it is vital to reach out to people for support. And fourth, in regard to your worry of telling your parents, you absolutely must. You are their child and they love you and if you are feeling unwell, they should know. Maybe sit them both down, or even just one of your parents alone to begin with, and explain how you're feeling. If you are too nervous to talk to them, maybe write it down in a letter and hand it to them so you can say what you want to say without being interrupted or overwhelmed. I know it must be really difficult to do, but your mental health is so important and you deserve to feel well again and get the treatment you need. Once again, I am so sorry that you are struggling with this issue. I must add, if either of your parents make you feel as though you are just seeking attention, please do not listen. Your feelings are valid and important and you deserve to have them acknowledged. Thinking of you during this time.
Anonymous
September 20th, 2020 3:20pm
My younger sister had the same feeling when it came to telling my parents about her anxiety. I had already been diagnosed and she was worried about how our parents would react, they had been understand with mine but she was worried that they would think that she was trying to get attention. She told them that she wanted to tell them, she felt like she could tell them, because of how well they had taken the news of my own anxiety. I think that really helped, and she had me as a support too. Open communication really helped in the conversation my sister had.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 4:04am
Dont think too much and just talk to them. I am sure they will understand. Afterall they are your parents. Dont let overthink get to you. Talking can do wonders i feel. Or you could also talk to someone with whom uou feel comfortable. I knw only talking is the cure for depression but letting your thoughts out will help. I understand that its easier said than done but uou have try atleast for your own good. You know your situation better than anyone else so what i feel is we can only suggest the final decision is upto you. I wish you all the luck and have a great life ahead. I know that you will fight and win!
Ribz
September 25th, 2020 4:23am
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boyall work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy all work and no play makes jack a dull boy
nostigmas333
September 26th, 2020 9:15pm
First, I'm glad you're speaking up about your own experience. This may in fact be a great time to open up. You'll be able to gauge the level of support your parents are capable of, so you can have healthy expectations. Also, you won't have to feel alone in it because your brother is in the same boat. This might just be the catalyst for some real talk! It gives you the opportunity to learn about family history and possible hereditary conditions. Trust your gut, if you feel like you may be depressed then advocate for yourself. Then, just take everything just one step at a time.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2020 12:31pm
Some time ago I went through a similar experience. Due to some things going on at home I was feeling so many emotions. I felt depressed among others but I just couldn't tell anyone cause I thought they were already going through other things and so would think I was just seeking attention or just faking it. But you should never just assume you .If you haven't tried you don't try to guess others reactions because these said actions and reaction are relative and dynamic. They are your parents and always remember that no matter what they would always want you to be safe and happy. So don't assume they'd think of you as an attention seeker. Talk about it... Don't leave all the emotions to build up maybe it's even something else. Always try... Don't act due to others reactions... Or hurt yourself to please others and act OK... Sometimes you have to reflect your insides outside so you can be properly assisted
MaxSkyFan
October 1st, 2020 8:43am
Sounds like you are worried that your feelings will overshadow what happened to your brother. That by stating what you are feeling is going to be seen in a bad light. Because when you brother is going through his diagnose of being with depression you are in fact trying to use to this for attention with your parents, when you are really feeling under the weather with your own depression that has you outgunned and you don't believe your parents will understand or believe that you are being serious and this is all one big ploy for attention on your part.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2020 9:30pm
Do some research and talk to them about any family history of depression. Explain to them how your feeling and how you feel you may also have the same diagnosis. Talk proactively about getting help for yourself and your brother. Focus on the diagnosis and how you are feeling instead of focusing on how your brother got the diagnosis first. Don’t underestimate what depression is. It’s serious and should be spoken about with your parents to seek help or with a professional who can assist. It’s okay if your parents don’t have all the answers. Depression affects all parties involved. Strengthen you knowledge base so you can talk to your parents with confidence. They may learn something new that can help both you and your brother.
glowingTruth228
October 21st, 2020 5:09pm
Of course, you know your situation better than I ever could. I am unable to know how your parents would truly react or how your brother would respond to the situation, omg advice would most likely be unhelpful in this particular situation. Although I am not able to give you direct advice, I can refer you to multiple resources that are available regarding depression and confrontation. If these are something you are interested in reading and referring to during this time, I can absolutely send you that information! In addition, it is extremely helpful to refer to a professional with these matters. Depression is common, so if that is something you have, don’t feel that you are alone or singled out. As soon as you are able to recognize your emotions, the sooner you can better understand how to deal with them.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2020 2:00am
Your mental health is just as important as your brother's. It's natural to be worried about being judged, but your parents should be there to support you. If you feel comfortable, find a time to talk to one or both of your parents about how you are feeling. Try to pick a time when the both of you are calm, and frame how you feel around "I" statements (e.g. "I feel like there's no point to getting out of bed in the morning.") It make take more than one discussion for progress to be made, this is okay. Alternatively, if you are able to go to the doctor's on your own, do so. Most doctors are trained in detecting the signs of depression, and may be able to help you be treated. They might also be able to talk to your parents, as a professional to a parent, if need be.
dazzlingbeauty786
December 3rd, 2020 5:08pm
What you can do is first keep a track of the symptoms you experience along with the duration. Calmly confront your parents with it and tell them about how you have been feeling lately and it would be great if you could get checked. Break the news in a calm manner and do not react if their response is negative. Sit with them and explain. Also it is quite normal to experience something that your brother might be diagnosed with as well since everyone is susceptible to something or the other. Its alright to not feel completely well and its very brave to seek help about it. Do tell your parents that its better treated now than to wait till it develops into a clinical stage where only anti-depressants and other sources could be used for help .
emily1214
December 9th, 2020 8:52pm
I would preface your conversation with something along the lines of "I am not trying to minimize (your brother's name)'s diagnosis, but I am also having a hard time right now. I would really appreciate some support too. I think your parents would appreciate your transparency and honesty and would be happy to support you as well as your brother, As much as you don't want to minimize your brother's diagnosis, not sharing your struggles with your parents is minimizing your own. One of you is not more important than the other so your parents should equally be aware if you are having some challenges.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2020 10:09pm
Talk to your parents! Tell them that you are inspired by your brother to take charge of your health. Depression commonly runs in families as well, so the diagnosis would not be a surprise, and might actually be helpful in treating your issues. Ask your parents to understand that you are going through a tough time, and whatever might be wrong with you, your symptoms are as valid as your brothers' and you would appreciate support. The most important thing is that you are identifying your need for and asking for help. Good luck on your journey!
mandar2670
January 6th, 2021 3:42am
I can understand your situation. Sometimes you may feel that such illness can arise out of genes. But it is not always the case. It may not be depression. I think it is better to talk with yourself and your family members. They know how to handle the same incase you have such kind of illness. The early you speak the better chances of cure. Are you able to make new friends? talk to them often? Try to create new friends, spend some time with them, which will help you understand yourself better. Try to help others which will make you to grow more as a human.
Helpyouhi
January 22nd, 2021 7:08pm
I don’t think they will think that if you were clear with them. Even tell them that you fear that they might think that but you think that you need to tell them. Also always ask about your brother and try to help him and let them help him as well. I am sure they will not judge you and will understand you as long as you will be clear with them and honest. Just tell them that you need to see a doctor as soon as possible to help you over come it and don’t be dramatic you will be okay anyway I am sure. Good luck hun
Anonymous
March 10th, 2021 8:47am
Depression is a mental health condition in which an individual experiences significant levels of sadness, loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, feelings of guilt, loss of sleep, low sex drive as well as isolation from friends and family. In extreme cases depression can contribute to suicidal thoughts. I can really hear you feel a mixture of hesitancy and willingness to tell your parents that you have depression because your brother recently got diagnosed and fear how they would perceive you opening up about your diagnosis. You may want to think about how you would feel if you do tell them about your diagnosis versus how you would feel if you do not tell them about your diagnosis. I have experienced a similar situation where I was fortunate to have someone convince me to inform my parents otherwise I would be suffering from the inside. Sharing a diagnosis can likely help whilst not sharing can cause you to feel isolated as your diagnosis is unknown and your brothers diagnosis is known by your parents. If unsure about where you stand about disclosing your diagnosis please reflect on how you would feel if a family member was hiding a diagnosis from you or how you would feel if they open up about their diagnosis with you. To open up takes trust and self-acceptance of what you are going through. To express vulnerability and reach out for help is not a weakness. I urge you to take your time and know that this is not an easy subject to speak about. You can receive anonymous support on our site from any listener or therapist who specializes or has lived experience with depression to discuss your thoughts and feelings. There is also access to self-help guides and mindfulness exercises on our site with whatever you are going through. Communities are also available to join for depression as I can understand people can feel more relieved that they are not the only one going through that particular thought, feeling or emotion. I wish you the best of luck!
TracyBeeee
March 20th, 2021 4:56am
This can be a difficult thing to come forward about, especially since you're worried they may think you're doing it for attention. Speaking from personal experience (all circumstances are different so this may not work in your situation) I would talk to your brother about how you're feeling. Since he experiences this as well he should have your back and be your primary source of support when preparing yourself to talk to your parents. This may be a difficult conversation to have, so don't be afraid to ask for additional support. The most important thing to remember is that YOUR FEELINGS ARE COMPLETELY VALID. Your experiences with depression are not the same as your brothers and should be treated separately. You are important and deserve all the support in the world. Don't be afraid to make your struggles known to your caretakers/family members if that's what you need.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2021 4:32am
it is understandable that you may not want to drop that news on your parents because of what is happening with your brother. while your parents may seem overwhelmed its best to put what is necessary for us to do and if you need to speak to someone you may want to despite what is happening because the sooner you speak to someone and get help the better. it may be overwhelming on your family at first but your parents also want what is best for you and what is going to keep you healthy and they will want to be there for you
Atu99
May 9th, 2021 6:02pm
I think you should consider sitting your parent down and having a serious conversation. Also, you should reiterate that you are feeling depressed and It has nothing to do with your brother. Your parent will think you may do telling them you are depressed because you want attention. However, if you explain it to them, describe your symptom, provide examples of situation where your depressed, they will be more incline to believe you. I understand how this is hard because you are trying to convince them that you have depression even thought they are your parents and they should believe you. However, I believe having a serious conversation is the best way to tell your parent.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2021 10:29pm
Instead of just telling them you think you have depression, just have a chat with them. Chat about what’s bothering you and what’s hurting. If you talk to them about these things then they will understand and realize that your not in it for attention. Say things that are going on in your life that may be leading up to depression. And maybe talk to your brother about what he thinks caused his depression and see if your going threw those same things, or if maybe you have bigger problems. By talking to him then maybe you will find your problems are just as bad but different
glowingPresence9786
September 1st, 2021 6:48pm
Depression often runs in families. How is your relationship with your parents currently? I could see them being supportive in helping you get a diagnosis if they have been supportive of your brother. If they have not been, you may want to consider seeing a licensed therapist using an online or telehealth service. Depression can be very deceptive and bring up feelings of self-deprecation and a sense of low self-worth. If you feel that you are struggling, that is enough of a reason to ask for help. You ARE trying to get attention, and that is not a bad thing. You need people to attend to your concerns in order to help you gain further insight on this issue.
Believeinspiredream
October 8th, 2021 1:08pm
This is a really hard thing and I am super sorry that you are going through this. One thing to remember is Depression often runs in families so its not uncommon for multiple family members to have depression. Along with this though every one depression is different and can present differently. I would try have an open and honest discussion with your parents about how you are feeling and how this effects you. You may find as well you and your brother can support each other as you both know on some level how depression feels. I hope this helps x
Anonymous
November 26th, 2021 4:25pm
If you can seek diagnosis on your own, do so. After getting the result, show it to your parents. It will not be their word against yours, but against a professional. This will help avoid feelings of taking your parent's doubt personally, since you already have the professional diagnosis to back you up. In the off chance that that professional doesn't diagnose you with depression, you can seek second opinion, or just know that regardless of "severity," everyone can get some form of help. The problem with diagnoses is that they often segregate people into neat black-and-white boxes: those who need help so bad, and those who don't need it enough--with the latter people being neglected to the point of them eventually progressing into the former. Our main problem with mental health isn't scarcity of services but of access; there's no need to label people as having priority "serious cases" and "just needs to adjust". We need specialists, sure, but not rejection, not prioritization (resource and access already does that), and not ableism. So again, try to get that diagnosis if you can. If you don't get it, know that you still deserve help anyway, and no good psychological service will refuse you. If you're a minor, it sucks but don't give up yet. Save up because one day you can send yourself professional help without your parents. I'm not saying this to be optimistic, I'm saying this because I've experienced life passing me by, only to regretfully look back at the times I could've made it better. Even +1 point better a day is +365 points better a year. Take baby steps. Take breaks. Take it one day at a time.
naturalPumpkin5608
December 10th, 2021 4:37am
Hey there! Your health is equally as important as your brother, I know that this can seem like a hard time to tell your parents, but it sounds like it might be in your favor. Your parents will understand, and they will be very helpful in getting you the meds & help needed. If you don’t feel like telling your parents during this tough time, all of us listeners on 7cups will be more than glad to talk to you about it! I can’t tell you the right or wrong thing to do in this situation, but I would suggest doing what you think is best. Remember, you are loved and this will turn out okay!!
kaitelynn31
December 24th, 2021 1:23am
It is completely understandable that you would feel this way and maybe they wouldn't feel this way. It never hurts to try. But if they do feel this way if you tell them, maybe you should try reaching out to some friends or other trusted adults. I've been in this same position but I reached out to a trusted adult and got the help I needed; there will always be someone there for you even if you don't believe it. It never hurts to try so tell your parents how you feel, maybe talk to your brother and see if he can tell you how you can feel better:)
Anonymous
February 18th, 2022 3:32pm
First off its not attention you are seeking, that is just your mind making that up. We don't choose when to get depressed so your brother getting diagnosed should push you away from seeking help. A parents goal is the best for their kids and I know they would appreciate you seeking their help. Keeping to yourself might make things not better at all for you. Don't allow yourself to get into your head to much. The Comfort in sadness is good but just leads to self destruction. Your brother might have a better understanding on what it feels like to have depression. So if you feel like you are doubting yourself way too much you can ask him what he was going through.
Anonymous
March 20th, 2022 12:09pm
I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. Sometimes it is hard for parents to hear that their children are having a hard time. It is easier said than done, but perhaps what would be best for you is to speak openly and honestly with your parents and tell them how you feel; but without needing to justify that you are not looking for attention because of your brothers recent diagnosis. Would having a conversation with your brother be something to think about? Perhaps he could offer advice on how to approach your parents.